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How to Deal with A Delta Female – 20 Ways to an Easy Life!

How to Deal with A Delta Female – 20 Ways to an Easy Life!

Updated on Nov 28, 2022 | Published on Nov 28, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

How to Deal with A Delta Female – 20 Ways to an Easy Life!

Curious how to deal with a delta female? Found you’re paired with one in school? Or did your life partner just take our personality quiz? 

Whoa there, don’t be anxious about it… dealing with her isn’t hard. I promise to help you learn everything necessary to have an amicable relationship with her.

So, keep reading! 

How to deal with a delta female?

A delta female is self-aware, shy, introverted, and serious. She’s often lost in her own thoughts and keeps to herself. So, you might be uncertain about how to treat her. You might even feel it’s some rocket science. 

But I’m here to change your mind. So, let’s explore here…

1. Unless it’s urgent or mandatory, don’t force her into socializing

A delta female prefers to stay quiet and doesn’t like to connect with people. So, whether it’s an office party or her close friend’s birthday, let her decide what to do.

If it’s an important occasion, convey the reasons to attend it. Once she understands the importance of the situation, she’ll be willing to join by herself.

However, don’t force her to stay at the party till the end. Let her decide what she wants as she doesn’t feel comfortable with social situations. If she can’t continue the small talk, it’s better to let her go.

2. Let her do things solo

A delta female isn’t known to be bad at teamwork, but she doesn’t like to be around strangers. She won’t be able to express herself to others well.

Being in a team will always force her to obey someone, but she can’t care less about others’ validation. This can create major drama in the team.

Conflicts are also common in teamwork, but she hates it. She avoids conflict pretty diligently and might even leave the team completely for that.

So, whether she’s your employee, student, or just a family member, don’t put her into a team. If possible, let her handle some solo tasks. Otherwise, find smaller independent tasks only for her.

3. Don’t intrude on her alone time

The delta female loves to take time for herself. Instead of meeting new people, partying, and enjoying recreational activities, she likes to focus on herself. She’d invest in her personal or professional growth rather than killing time elsewhere. She picks up any hobby or interest to use her time well.

So, never think that she’s lonely when she’s not at the party. If you like that party, stay there. Don’t call her to meet you or spend time with you. If you want to, that’s a great thought.

But, even if she meets you, she won’t let you monopolize all of her time. So, if she refuses, understand her situation and let her be!

4. If she’s not talking, bring up something interesting

She’s not into shallow conversations or small talk. She will never join a silly meaningful conversation because there’s nothing productive in it. She rather likes deep and intellectual conversations like every other introvert. 

So, if there’s a delta female around you and they’re silent, get the cue! She’s probably disinterested in irrelevant topics. If you want to strike up a conversation with her, as a friend, lover, or even a coworker, focus on her interests.

Find out what she’s immersed in lately. Is she following certain news regularly? Is she focused on a new project? Or did she pick up a new interest? Use them and smoothly break the ice.

5. Choose something other than validation to motivate her

Whether you have a sigma female daughter, student, or employee, you need a motivator to help her grow. However, public appreciation, acceptance, or validation doesn’t motivate her.

She hardly concerns herself with others’ opinions about her. She’ll never feel guilty for setting boundaries or overachieving to be appreciated.

So, take your time to set actual prizes for her. If you’re her parent or lover, communicate to understand what drives her to perform better or if she wants something and works hard for it.

If you’re her employer, learn about her goals and motivate her with bonuses, certificates, and rewards. If you’re a teacher, find out her passions and prepare similar rewards.

6. She’s nervous at social events, so don’t focus on that

She doesn’t attend events a lot, so whenever she does, she’s extremely nervous about making the wrong moves. Due to her introversion, her self-consciousness and anxiety heighten.

She might hesitate to strike up a conversation, she might talk funny, make mistakes in etiquette and manners, sweat a lot, or her hands might shake.

Whatever happens, don’t point out the obvious with a “Are you nervous?” question. If you pay attention to that, she’ll feel even more self-conscious and make more mistakes. Don’t embarrass her by focusing on that. Even if someone else mentions that and you’re around her, change the topic.

7. Compliment her effort instead

To cover her self-consciousness, she’ll put extra effort into herself in social events. Notice how she looks more glamorous than on other days? If you ignore the little mistakes, you’ll notice a lot of effort in her manners.

So, find out the small effort and praise her. I’m sure you’re wondering, “But she doesn’t need validation?”

Well, she doesn’t… but if you compliment her, it’ll be a confidence boost for her. Her focus will shift from her vulnerabilities to her strength. She’ll know that her efforts are visible to others too.

Moreover, you can also help her with some last-minute fixes in her posture or facial expressions. This will make her even more sure about herself.

8. Constructively criticize her flaws

A delta female is aware of her flaws and doesn’t fantasize about herself as someone perfect. She always tries to fix her shortcomings and improve herself.

However, she’s also a human being and might make mistakes. She might not notice all of her flaws. Or, the way she corrects herself isn’t effective.

If you notice anything like that, tell her what you notice. Don’t feel anxious because she won’t get defensive about it. She’ll be glad if you point out the issues and even help her deal with them.

However, make sure you don’t sound too high and mighty. Use a friendly tone and don’t make her feel bad about it. Otherwise, she might cut connections with you for toxic traits.

9. But let her define her pace

While you guide her to improve herself, never hurry her. A delta woman likes to follow her own pace in life. She doesn’t want to compete with anyone other than herself. She doesn’t want to be better than herself or be forced into a competition. So, don’t expect too much from her.

If you’re her employer, don’t ask her to become a star employee overnight. As her teacher, never expect her to ace a subject too soon. Or, as her loved one, don’t expect her to fix her mistakes immediately.

Allow her to proceed in her self-development quest by herself. Otherwise, she won’t feel motivated at all. Instead, she might avoid you for good.

10. Put her patience and communication skills to good use

Due to her personality traits, a delta woman, though shy, has great communication skills and patience. If someone upsets her, she’s open to listening to their story patiently. She won’t judge them or treat them harshly. Instead, she’ll be respectful and kind towards them.

She’ll also communicate her side to the patient in a way so they also understand her. She has a great way with words and can melt the other person’s emotions. So, she can be a great mediator in any area of life.

If there’s a fight in your personal or professional life and have a delta female around, convince her to take care of the situation.

11. Don’t demand to be trusted too fast

Before beginning platonic or romantic relationships, a delta female takes time. She wants to understand if you both have similar values, beliefs, and interests.

Suppose you don’t match in every aspect. Then, she wants to know if you can respectfully resolve your differences and accept each other. She doesn’t want to invest emotions in a frail bond.

So, don’t hurry her if you genuinely want to be friends or lovers. While she takes time, let them know you better. Be transparent about your flaws too so she doesn’t feel cheated.

Even if you fight, resolve it together and show her you’re a responsible and trustworthy person. Enjoy intellectual convo and keep her wanting to know you more.

12. Respect her loyalty if she accepts you

Once she’s certain about you, she’ll cherish this bond. She’ll pour in everything good like honesty, kindness, loyalty, love, compassion, selflessness, and so on. Name anything good for a healthy relationship and it’s all there!

But healthy relationship dynamics are hard to come by. So, don’t take this for granted, and reciprocate the same energy in your friendship or relationship. She’ll be ready to do almost everything to help you feel cherished. She’ll disregard her boundaries and even go out of her way for you.

So, be open to do the same for her. Don’t always be on the receiving side of things. She might not seek you when she’s low, but keep an eye on her. Any relationship is a two-way lane, so don’t ignore it!

13. Don’t mind if the answer is negative

Don’t be too optimistic as things might not work out. She might find that you guys aren’t that compatible. Then she won’t agree to be close friends or lovers.

Of course, you might feel that she’ll eventually change her mind after spending time with you. But she’ll refuse you only after thinking through everything. She won’t hurry her decision and will stick to it once she makes it.

So, don’t try to change her mind or insist she goes for a “trial” friendship or relationship. She’s extremely serious about her emotions and this is almost unethical for her. Accept her “No”, or else chasing her will only push her away.

14. Learn conflict resolution skills

If you’re close to her, know that she avoids conflict. She feels so uncomfortable with it that she literally flees from it. She has impeccable communication skills and patience but she can’t deal with conflict and confrontation.

This might lead to resentment, misunderstandings, and suppressed negativity. These can definitely lead to drifting apart from loved ones. This is a serious flaw in a delta female, so you must support her throughout.

Learn good conflict resolution skills to tackle those situations. Communicate with her about her issue, the pros and cons of resolving conflict, and her fears about it. Help her overcome the fear and learn the skills herself.

Suppose she’s a coworker and someone took advantage of her. But she won’t confront them because conflicts aren’t her thing. Try to convince her that she’ll only hurt herself more this way. Help her learn conflict resolution skills and deal with them.

15. Don’t let her flee or cut contact

The first few times you and her face a conflict, she might ignore you completely. Especially, if it becomes too intense for her, she might even move out, block your contact, or avoid you completely.

Even if she does that, stop her from doing that. If you guys know each other in your personal life, don’t hesitate to chase her.

If you know each other in professional life, maintain distance while convincing her to communicate. Otherwise, it will seem like you’re harassing her.

16. Don’t misunderstand her realism

She likes to state things as it is. If something is wrong or won’t work out, she’ll be straightforward about it. People often think that she’s way too pessimistic. But just because she isn’t optimistic, it doesn’t imply she’s negative-minded.

Don’t misunderstand her like the rest because she only wants to be honest. She doesn’t like to give fake hope or raise others’ expectations. She states the reality because that way you’ll know where you must work on yourself. Otherwise, you’ll fantasize that things will truly improve even without effort.

Be grateful for the honest review and remember that she’ll always help you, so trust her guts.

17. But tell her if her realism affects you

Though she doesn’t mean any harm with her realism, it’s different if you’re affected. If you feel demotivated by her words, don’t accept them silently. Honestly and openly communicate your issues to her.

If her actions harm your mental health, it’s okay to express your problems. She’s patient and she’ll listen to you carefully. She’ll neither judge you for feeling a certain way nor get disappointed in you. She won’t label you “sensitive” or talk behind your back.

Through communication, you can find a middle ground together. So, be transparent about your troubles and trust her to compromise for you. Whether you’re acquainted through work or in your personal life, she won’t ignore your issue.

18. Seek her during any trouble

A delta female learns a ton of things when she spends time alone. She is both book-smart and street-smart. So, if you ever get in any kind of trouble, talk to her. I won’t promise you that she has all the answers to your trouble, but she might!

So, don’t expect anything and just share it with her. If she knows anything, she might suggest some way out. If not, at least you won’t have regrets.

19. Don’t compare her with an alpha female

The delta female personality type is the result of an alpha female’s failure. It’s said that she used to be a great woman with a bright future. She used to dominate others, and be confident, outgoing, and open-minded.

She took many risks to conquer more. But at some point, she miscalculated and her personality eventually changed. This is an interesting backstory but don’t mention it.

No, she isn’t still sore about the bad experience. But she just can’t stand her status in the hierarchy. So, she won’t feel great if you talk about the connection between two female personalities.

20. Discuss your boundaries and mutually respect them

Whether you’re acquainted personally or professionally, discuss boundaries if you deal with each other regularly.

The delta female has many sore points like the relationship between delta and alpha personality. She also doesn’t like to be forced to socialize, overachieve, or seek validation. She even hates being hurried to improve herself or to trust others.

Similarly, you also have some boundaries and won’t like anyone to violate them. So, if you’re close friends, family members, lovers, or team members in an organization, discuss your boundaries. You can also negotiate some during this conversation. This will help you deal with each other even better.

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

A delta female might seem too closed off to deal with. But if you communicate openly and honestly, she’ll understand you well. Urge her to express herself too. She might be shy, but she can also state her mind.

Practice the steps diligently and you’ll easily deal with her. Remember to treat her as you want to be treated to maintain respectful dynamics and you’re all set!

Article Sources


1. https://subconsciousservant.com/the-delta-female/
2. https://theleaderboy.com/delta-female-personality-type-explained/
3. https://brandongaille.com/female-alpha-beta-gamma-omega-delta-sigma/