Everyone wants to know how to be an alpha male. The concept of being an alpha is so popular that everyone desires to be like him.

However, most men give up way too early, even before trying. They tell themselves, “I’m too unattractive” or “I’m a loser”.

But it’s way easier to tap into your inner alpha. So, let’s get started!

How to Be an Alpha Male?

To be an alpha male, you must embrace his qualities. However, you may not wanna research the traits or feel too confused even after doing so.

That’s okay, so follow these simplified steps here…

1. Listen to others but believe in yourself

The alpha male isn’t ever doubtful of his choices. But that doesn’t imply you must ignore others. Listen to them mindfully and consider if they have better choices.

But don’t ignore yourself just because they said you’re wrong. Make sure that the last decision is always YOURS!

2. Help others only after helping yourself

Alpha men don’t try to be the “nice guy” like beta males. So, if you have something on, don’t sacrifice yourself to help others. Learn to say no and prioritize yourself.

Especially, if anyone tries to take advantage of you, cut them off and value yourself.  Focus on this tip more especially if you’re a beta male!

3. Don’t boast about your good deeds

If you ever help others, don’t brag about it to others. To be an alpha male, you don’t need to boast and let others know about your noble heart.

Remember that it’s an alpha’s responsibility to support others. But if you boast, you only stray away from being the alpha.

4. Criticize directly and appreciate subtly

If anyone makes mistakes, criticize them about it honestly. Be straightforward about the exact issues but don’t make it a huge deal.

On the other hand, if anyone makes progress, congratulate them. But never praise them more than necessary as it’ll kill their motivation.

5. Never let fear overwhelm you

It’s not that the alpha male doesn’t feel fear, but he neither shows it nor lets it overwhelm him. So, always believe in yourself and plan for possible setbacks. You can be more confident this way and will overpower the negatives easily.

6. Don’t get provoked into unnecessary fights

Often people will talk behind you to jerk a reaction out of you. However, never give them satisfaction. Instead, don’t react and watch them feel frustrated.

If this person is a loved one, try to understand what went wrong and work it out.

7. But always be aggressive if they come for you

If the other person doesn’t stop even after you ignore them or try to communicate, don’t take others’ heat unnecessarily.

Take a stand to protect yourself or your loved ones. Show them that you are not a weakling and they need to back off!

8. Don’t worry or boast about your performance in bed

To be a real alpha male, you must neither feel insecure nor be overconfident about your sensual skills. Women often leave such men because they give bad vibes.

Instead, focus on your partner’s experience. Work on any shortcomings, if you have. Silently pleasure her and make her beg for more.

9. Avoid a lazy routine

The true alpha male won’t ever spend his days lazily doing nothing. Don’t waste your time sitting idly or binging on unhealthy habits.

Try to whip up an interesting routine and get rid of the toxic bits. For instance, don’t get addicted and spend time with a purpose in mind.

10. But always take a breather

Though it’s important to avoid a lazy routine, you also need rest. To be an alpha male, you must also understand when your body needs to recharge.

Get enough rest and sleep and don’t push yourself until you black out. Understand your limits and abide by them!

11. Follow self-care routines

Men’s self-care routine isn’t often discussed. It’s more than just using toiletry products. So, follow a short skin-care routine.

Let go of heteronormative inhibitions and enjoy different ways to pamper yourself. Only then will you feel good and become truly confident from within.

12. Create goals and focus on them!

If you don’t have proper goals in life, being an alpha will be hard. Don’t work for money alone and focus on how you want to enjoy life.

Create goals like how you want to save for your future when you want to retire and work with that goal in mind!

13. Never let others’ opinions matter

One of the greatest qualities of an alpha male is that he doesn’t care about judgmental opinions. So, don’t let others’ unnecessary criticism affect you.

The world will always have complaints. However, you must stick to your ground and not care about everything others say.

14. Instead of helping with money, share your time

It’s not easy to be as aware and farsighted as an alpha male. So, volunteer your time to your community and build your character.

You will know a lot more about the world if you spend time in the soup kitchen or pet shelters rather than just donating money.

15. Be self-sufficient

If you’re ever in trouble, don’t wait for help like the betas. If nobody helps you, depend on yourself. Instead of seeking others, figure out how to do things by yourself.

It’s great if someone helps you out but it’s best when you grow through struggles alone!

16. Never rely on others for joy

You alone must be the source of your happiness. So, don’t let the mood of your parents, partner or your kids affect you.

If you want to be a happy and confident man like alphas, step up and do things that make you happy.

17. Maintain both your physical and mental health

The alpha man is both physically and mentally strong. So, work out and follow a healthy diet and sleep routine to take care of your body.

Simultaneously, do yoga, read good books, and take care of your mental health.

18. Always go for a sharp appearance

To be an alpha male, you must also look your best. Maintain good hygiene, get flattering haircuts, and learn to groom your beard in suitable styles.

If your clothes are outdated, mix and match them to make them work. Seek someone with good aesthetics for the best.

19. Keep your word

The words of the leader of a pack are always valued. He never breaks his promises, so learn to keep yours. Don’t commit to anything that you can’t fulfill.

Promise anything only when you know you can follow through until the very end. Only then will people respect you as an alpha.

20. Identify your values and never violate them

Pick three core values like honesty, equality, or anything else you believe in. Indulge in soul searching if you haven’t found them. Live your life based on them and defend your core values. Being an alpha male is all about being true to your deepest beliefs.

21. Say what needs to be said

Even if people disagree with you, learn to say the difficult truths. Whether it’s your perceptions of life or the unpleasant reality, say it as it is. Don’t let others brainwash you and change your beliefs. Say what you believe in others’ faces without fear.

22. Step out of the comfort zone

Another one of the traits of an alpha male is to push your boundaries. If you want to reach the peak of your life like the top dog, you must go the extra mile and fight for your desires.

Whether it’s a promotion, a better score, or just a better body… don’t give up and keep trying despite the discomfort.

23. Charge in with confidence

Be assertive and confident about your desires. Even if you hurt others’ emotions, don’t give up on your dreams. Of course, don’t hurt others intentionally.

Try to improve yourself and make the best life you deserve. If anyone gets in your way, get rid of them because they aren’t your well-wishers.

24. Respect yourself AND others

Don’t let others treat you like a pushover as nobody respects such men. You may certainly compromise but don’t always get the shorter end of the stick.

Similarly, respect others and don’t believe that you’ll be everyone’s priority. Mutual respect is important to be an alpha!

25. Be grateful for what you have earned

Stop whining about what you don’t have in life. Instead, show gratitude for what you have. You never know when fate might play a dirty game.

Cherish every little thing in life and stop highlighting what you lack. If you want to be an alpha male, don’t be pessimistic.

26. Get into action instead of complaining

If there aren’t enough things to be grateful for, make it happen. Stop complaining as it only wastes your time. Bring the change you have already desired. If you fail on the first attempt, figure out where you went wrong and try again.

27. Be aware of your limits

Like the alpha male, know that you aren’t and can never be perfect. Identify your shortcomings and work on them.

It doesn’t hurt to improve yourself and minimize your weaknesses even if you can’t get rid of them for life.

28. Don’t be shy or hesitant about anything

The alpha male is bold because he knows that being shy won’t help him achieve anything. Similarly, you must also let go of any hesitation.

Whether you want to say or do something, go for it. Don’t second-guess yourself because doubts attract negative consequences. 

29. Learn to communicate

The alpha male’s communication skills are top-notch. So, get a self-help book to embrace them. Learn to hold a conversation, make others listen to you, and grab others’ attention without fighting for it.

This isn’t an easy skill, so practice regularly to be as charismatic as the alphas.

30. If you have a crush, approach them directly

If you have a crush, don’t play mind games. Cut to the chase and be open about your feelings. If they accept you, strive hard for a healthy relationship. If they refuse you, learn to process rejection properly and let them go.

31. Stay optimistic through all setbacks

No matter what happens in life, remember that everything will be fine. Believe in this genuinely and reassure others. Even if people talk behind your back, you must always think positively.  Don’t let situations or people impact your mood.

32. Embrace a confident body language

You must be confident from within and outside like an alpha male. So, maintain good body posture, make eye contact, sit and walk straight, take space, and make hand gestures if you feel more comfortable. This way you will create a good impression on others.

33. Try to learn about people’s experiences

Connect with new people and know about their life. Especially if you are not well-traveled, this will help you expand your horizons and make tough decisions easier.

You will also expand your connections, learn about rare opportunities, and be more aware of your surroundings.

34. Lead a disciplined life

The alpha male is at the top because he leads a disciplined life. He never had it easy and exercised great self-control in his life.

Don’t let impulsive actions and desire for instant gratification overpower you. Think about your long-term goals and work hard. Only then can you build a life and an alpha personality.

35. Respect others’ boundaries

To be the alpha, you must show that you are worth being one. Otherwise, nobody will accept you like natural leaders.

Start with establishing and respecting others’ boundaries. Let them know that you care about what makes them feel cherished and they will look up to you and value your words.

36. Don’t make your partner your only focus

When you get into a relationship, don’t expect them to spend all the time with you. Have a life beyond your relationship and let your partner have the same.

Don’t become codependent on them or you will lose your identity and let alone be the alpha.

37. Cultivate leadership qualities

To be an alpha male, you must have good leadership skills. You can learn this from self-help books or follow the ways of real-life examples.

Be reliable, trustworthy, firm, and understanding. Understand others’ strengths and weaknesses to support them to become better than ever.

38. Never back away from competitions

If anyone challenges you in a competition, don’t back off. Even if you can’t win, be eager to partake. At least you will learn something from it.

If you win, you will inspire others but if you lose, you’ll know what you lack and get inspired instead.

39. Keep learning more

Just like the alpha man, never stop learning. Whether it’s your studies, skills, or simply the fun activities in the vicinity… be curious.

Read books, watch YouTube, or enroll to learn skills. You will learn much more about the world if you show eagerness!

40. Take calculated risks

Like the alpha male, try to take risks that have a favorable risk-to-reward ratio. Brainstorm to understand which risks are potential opportunities.

You may not succeed initially but you will eventually learn. So, take your time to think hard and you’ll grow with the chances!

41. Don’t forgive backstabbers

Like the alpha male, don’t give any more chances to backstabbers. C’mon, you know they’ll take advantage of you all over.

So, don’t let your heart waver and stick to your word no matter how much they plead. However, if it’s a genuine mistake, give them the benefit of doubt.

42. Don’t apologize excessively

To be a bit more like the alpha male, stop apologizing at every chance you get. If it’s neither of your mistakes or if it’s something minor, don’t feel guilty about it.

Apologize only when it’s truly your fault. Otherwise, people will treat you like a pushover.

43. Use humor to deal with mean remarks

Sharpen your sense of humor and use it to protect yourself. If anyone ever acts mean to you, use humor to show off your smartness. Let them burn in their rage while you act ever so confident.

44. Work on your emotional intelligence

Don’t let your emotions have the better of you. Be aware of your and others’ emotions to make the best decisions. Observe yourself and own your feelings.

Work on negative emotions and rejoice for the positive ones. Research more and practice to make your EQ as high as alphas.

45. Understand the true meaning of alpha

The “alpha male” isn’t a sexy man with 6-pack abs and tons of chicks hovering over him. He is someone reliable, strong, and focused in life. Don’t obsess over the superficial definition of alpha and embrace the genuine qualities.

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

Remember, the alpha male is the top personality. So, patience is a must-have. Otherwise, you’ll only lose motivation. Change won’t come to you overnight, so stay put. Believe in yourself and watch the miracle happen eventually!

Article Sources


1. https://www.momjunction.com/articles/alpha-male-traits_00750277/#infographic-the-other-male-archetypes
2. https://www.wikihow.com/Become-an-Alpha-Male
3. https://www.promescent.com/blogs/learn/becoming-an-alpha-male