Anxiously thinking about how to communicate with a type A person? Think they’re too rude and unapproachable? Do you always want to get away from them because of their strict attitude?
Well, not anymore! Because this think-piece is full of secrets to help you talk to them with ease and confidence.
If you thought it’s only possible in dreams, you’re about to be proven wrong!
So, let’s get started…
How to communicate with a type A?
Type As often intimidate others with their perfectionism and intolerance towards failure. Unless it’s someone with greater authority, talking to them might be a big piece of work.
In your workplace, you might feel scared to even ask them questions… in your private life, you might feel they just don’t understand you. It’s a complete mess.
But, guess what? It’s time to get rid of the mess here…
1. If you dare oppose them, make sure you have solid reasons to back
People with type A personalities can’t stand it when others oppose them. They believe they’re always right and decide the best by themselves. So, they don’t take it positively and feel their wits and authority is being challenged in a bad way.
It can become pretty tricky to make them understand that you don’t mean any harm to their reputation or anything else. So, to communicate effectively with a type A person while disagreeing, you must come up with good reasons.
Whether in your private, social, or professional life, take time to jot down the reasons why you think differently from them.
If you’re having a heated conversation, you probably won’t have the important points in your mind at the moment. So, avoid disagreeing with them during a fight. Take time to figure out your ideas and clearly express them.
2. Don’t hesitate or pause
When people ask for favors, they hesitate. They beat around the bush until they feel the other person is open to requests or the other person won’t think badly about them.
However, type As don t understand the need for this entire stalling and expressing yourself. They feel “If you need something, just out with it!”
They’re always short on time… even when they have plenty of time, they still feel an irrational fear of losing precious time. So, if you stall too much, they’ll get annoyed or even ignore you for wasting their time. They are never ready to compromise with their time.
So, to communicate with them, try to stick to the point. Ask them what you need as soon as you can. If it’s a general conversation, make sure there are no unnecessary long-drawn silences.
A type A person might not appreciate silence… especially if they have other pressing matters waiting for them.
3. Appreciate them
Type A people work hard and make the best out of everything they have. They do it all for their and their loved ones’ comfort.
They want to secure their life and enjoy the best of everything. They’re often called heartless workaholics… because they work so much and forget about family time.
Well, type As might be crazy about work, money, opportunities, and promotions… but they’re also humans. At the end of the day, they do it all for their loved ones.
You can say it’s a part of their love language. However, they feel extremely unmotivated when their loved ones don’t understand their emotions.
They feel misunderstood and bitter… like any other average human being… when people don’t get their mindset. So, if you’re close to a type A, appreciate their efforts. They need it to keep going in the long run. Too much negativity from their close ones might demotivate them.
4. Use positive language
Try to avoid any negative language around a type A person. Type As are always stressed and worried about maintaining their time and reputation.
They always have lots of workload on them and are quite stressed about meeting deadlines. They overwork themselves until they drop.
Moreover, the word “failure” doesn’t exist in a type A individual’s dictionary. They can’t afford to make mistakes. They have an irrational fear of failing and are their own worst critic. They believe that if they fail, they can never turn back and make things work.
While they’re already so stressed with the way their mind works, try to diminish any sort of negative talk with them.
Even if you can’t help it, try to frame it positively so you don’t stress them further. If your language doesn’t agitate them, they’ll be more than willing to freely communicate with you.
5. Avoid challenging them in the wrong way
There are two kinds: challenges that make people want to grow and challenges that make one feel if they can’t win, they’ll be the loser and you’ll rub it on their face.
So, the first kind of challenge includes: allotting new tasks to a type A, tasks that demand more effort, something that will test their limits and help them outdo themselves. A-types like these challenges where they compete with themselves.
On the other hand, the second kind of challenge includes them competing with someone else… like you! Type A folks are extremely competitive, so they don’t like being challenged… as they feel provoked in these situations.
So, even if you challenge them in friendly competitions like video games or cards, they feel an urge to win. If they can’t win, they become extremely upset and might even stop communicating with you. So, if you plan on playing games together, avoid challenging them at all costs.
6. Try to minimize wrong facts
When you communicate with a type A, ensure you know your facts right. Personality types have a sharp nose for mistakes and they don’t forgive anyone easily when they catch them.
So, if you want to talk about something in the workplace or just want to have a hearty conversation in your personal life, make sure you know your facts right. Otherwise, they’ll make a big scene and lecture you about your mistakes.
You might wonder, “I must be this cautious while talking to a type A friend… is this an interview or something?”
Well, it’s tough to follow such rules if it’s a friend. So, take the easier route instead! Avoid triggering them by not mentioning any deep facts. This way, they won’t be able to find fault with your words.
But if it’s someone in your professional life, you must prepare yourself before facing them.
7. Talk about the specific moment
Type As aren’t dreamers. They believe in reality and work at the moment. They don’t ponder on thoughts like “If we do this, then that might happen…” That’s simply not a type A’s style.
So, keep their communication styles in mind while talking to them. Don’t indulge in excess of dreamy conversations.
If you have a type A lover, don’t say “Wouldn’t it be great if we had a mansion?”
Instead, use realistic phrases like “Someday, I want a big house. So, I want to work hard and save enough for it. What do you think?”
If you’re their friend, don’t say “I wish we could go on a world tour like those friends in movies”.
Rather say, “What should we do to afford a world tour? Have any ideas?”
These phrases show that you’re still grounded in reality and not wasting time unnecessarily… because miracles don’t happen unless you try… that’s what A-types believe.
8. Avoid expecting anything emotional from them
If you have a type A coworker, never expect any personal life advice from them. Instead, you must never talk about emotional topics if you’re only connected professionally with them.
Don’t even think about bringing up such a subject during work hours… being a workaholic, they won’t appreciate it.
If you have a type A friend, lover, or family member, you can’t avoid emotional subjects. However, don’t expect them to answer you with anything less than rational.
A-types aren’t good at expressing their emotions. So, if you ask them, they’ll feel uncomfortable and only answer you logically.
Of course, they aren’t robots. They have emotions too… but they don’t know how to express themselves. They might express themselves once in a while… but that’s the limit.
You can make them feel more comfortable by appreciating their small attempts at expressing their emotions. However, never rush the process as they might get defensive and shut down completely.
9. Don’t restrict them with rules and routines
Type As don’t like monotonous routines. They don’t like to follow a particular rule in their workplace or private life. They want excitement and challenges to keep growing. Otherwise, they lose their motivation to work.
Suppose, a type A person earns a steady income but has no growth or challenges, they can’t stay dedicated to this job for longer. They’ll seek another thrilling and challenging job.
A-types live for challenges, so never ask them to settle down or stop chasing the impossible. They like to challenge their capabilities… and if you want to avoid conflicts with a type A, you must accept this side of them.
Don’t ask them to lead a stable life and avoid taking risks. They always take calculated risks and are aware of the possibilities. But if you still ask them to change, forget about communicating, they’ll avoid you like the plague because you demotivate them.
10. Don’t interfere between them and their work
When they’re working on urgent deadlines, a type A is intensely stressed. They have a lot going on in their mind, they’re multitasking and extremely focused.
They don’t have time to even breathe. They eat and walk fast… they sweat with all that tension. So, during these moments, don’t even think of talking to them unless it’s urgent.
If you want to communicate and your type A family member or lover works at home, ask if they’re working on deadlines. If they are, choose a different time.
If the type A person works from the office and you want to connect via call, text them to know if they’re busy. If they are, they’ll probably not notice your text. Don’t call them to ask why they didn’t reply… just let them be.
On the other hand, never make a big deal out of them not answering their phone during work hours. They love to work, so it’s the worst moment to talk about anything.
11. If needed, invade the subject carefully with facts
However, you might not always be able to wait until later. Emergencies are normal and you must prepare for the times you urgently need them by your side. So, have a moment to talk about it.
Suppose, your type A loved one works from home and they never check their phone at work, that’s a problem. Tell them about the possible emergencies you might face. Be clear that you don’t want to knowingly interfere with their work and respect their professional time.
Ask them for their coworker’s contact who can help you reach out to them. Promise that you won’t contact them for silly reasons. The type A person must also let the other coworker know they’re your emergency contact so they don’t feel uncomfortable.
But, if this person works from home, you have them by your side during emergencies, and you just want them to avoid overworking… tell them about your concerns. Add proven drawbacks of working excessively. You’ll eventually prove your point and they’ll try to stay within limits.
12. Don’t say “Be patient”
Type A people are impatient by their personality traits. You can’t change this overnight. When they’re made to wait in queues or traffic, their impatient side comes out naturally. It’s not under their control.
So, if you see them fidgeting or cussing while they wait in a queue or in traffic, don’t ask them “Can you be quiet for a moment?” It riles them up further and can instigate major conflicts later.
Instead, play Rock-Paper-Scissor or other fun games to distract them. This will help them forget that it’s taking longer and prevent them from fidgeting.
However, if it happens in a professional place, you mustn’t say anything. If they expect you to pick your pace, just say that you’re on it, zone them out, and focus to wrap up.
If they’re irritated at someone else’s delay (like your team member) and taking out their anger on you (team leader or another team member), don’t talk back. Let them finish and help the other person wrap up fast.
13. Never try to attack their confidence
A-types are the most confident ones of the lot. They put lots of effort into their task. With their perfectionism, they ensure everything is at its best. If they boss you around, they know how to deal with the situation. If they ask you to do anything, they know that you can do it.
Even if they’re wrong in some way, you mustn’t attack their confidence. Rather, show them actual facts about why they might be wrong.
If you believe you’re not the perfect fit for a job and they pressure you to do something, give them a reason to believe it. If they don’t listen to you, take your time working on that task but refuse to take responsibility if anything goes wrong.
Don’t say that they’re wrong, they’ll act stubbornly and won’t change their mind. Instead, talk about facts with a calm tone.
14. Don’t expect them to care about feelings
When a type A person finds fault with others, they’re ruthless. They’re pretty harsh critics. For them, failure is an unforgivable sin.
They believe that once a person fails, it’s the end. They apply the same rule to themselves. Since they’re pretty strict with themselves, you can’t expect them to go easy on you.
If you’re wrong, they won’t spare you. Don’t ask them to be more understanding. Don’t even think about softening their hearts with tears. These tactics don’t work on them. Never ask them to consider your feelings… because they don’t understand things like that.
Instead, if you feel they crossed the line, tell them so. If they do something wrong like demanding you to work overtime, forcing you to get a perfect score in an impossible situation, or something similar, say that it’s not possible and you won’t entertain it.
15. Be confident
Task A individuals are extremely intimidating, so people around them might always be at the edge. Since they work excessively, you might feel that you’re incompetent because you clock out at the perfect time.
However, it’s never like that! Instead, they work more than they must… so you have no reason to feel self-conscious.
Otherwise, your self-confidence might drastically fall even if you don’t work your best. When you run low on confidence, you can’t convey your words well to a type A and they’ll treat you like a pushover. So, take note of this all the time.
A word from ThePleasantPersonality
Remember all A-types aren’t the same, so take your time understanding them. With life experiences, an A-type might have already worked on themselves. So, check what’s relatable and what’s not.
If you act cautious and aware of some traits they already got rid of or didn’t have at all, they’ll think that you assumed something about them. You never know what might anger them, so do your homework right before approaching them