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How to Communicate with a Type H? Things to Know

How to Communicate with a Type H? Things to Know

Updated on Nov 18, 2022 | Published on Nov 01, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

How to Communicate with a Type H? Things to Know

So, you’re wondering about how to communicate with a type H person? Stuck because you feel you’ll say something that might offend them? Also, wondering which H-type I’m talking about?

Oh, gosh, I’m glad to say I’m referring to both… my think-piece will help you no matter which H-type you wanna talk to. I promise you a smooth conversation with either of them.

C’mon, let’s get down to business here…

How to Communicate with a Type H – healer?

If you know a healing H-type acquaintance, they always have controlled emotions and are compassionate to everyone. You still feel that deep inside they get hurt and you don’t know how to convey anything to them. If this is your problem, let’s figure out a solution here…

1. Avoid blaming them for anything

Life is full of unexpected bad situations and anything can go wrong at any moment. Suppose you and a type H person are teammates in any field of your life. You worked together but things just didn’t work out.

If you lose your temper easily and habitually blame others for your troubles, you can’t make an H-type feel guilty for this. Even if you tell them it’s all their fault and they must work on it, they won’t care.

They’ll start working on their responsibilities even before you say anything because they don’t believe in throwing tantrums or blaming others. In the end, they’ll have a poor opinion of you and won’t communicate with you.

So, try to own your mistakes and even if the H-type was at fault, keep the blames off for effortless communication.

2. Accept that provocative language doesn’t work on them

Some people use provocative language to start a fight with others. They say “I know you won’t do that because you can’t” or “You’re a loser if you don’t do that!” They want some sort of reaction out of the other person… either just for fun, because they’re angry and want to fight, or because they want the other person’s welfare.

I’ve seen parents talk like that to their kids because they want to agitate them enough to work on something out of negative emotions. They wait for their child to study harder just to prove that they’re not a loser… a stupid concept, but it exists!

Well, never use this language around them because they are pretty detached from the world. They don’t let others affect them in any way. So, even if you only wish the best for them, they won’t react favorably.

3. Take their boundaries and refusal seriously

If a type H acquaintance says they don’t want something, don’t persist. They are known to have pretty strong boundaries. So, you won’t be able to change their mind about something they have already decided. If they say no, respect that.

Most people don’t get it at once because type H people keep their tone neutral and non-aggressive even when someone asks them too much. Others assume they are weak-willed and can talk them into it. But they only waste their time and the H-type understands that they can’t respect their boundaries.

So, if you don’t want your type H acquaintance to straight off ignore you forever, never try to negotiate their boundaries. Otherwise, they’ll get the hint and never give you a chance to get close to them.

4. Don’t ever underestimate their capabilities

A type H person has immense faith in themselves, so they don’t pretend to be helpless during troubles. They don’t blame others or the situation to get away from their responsibility. They don’t seek help from others and don’t expect others to treat them delicately. Instead, they feel anger if they’re treated like a weak person.

So, when a type H acquaintance is in trouble, don’t even think about saying “that’s not possible for you alone”. That only makes them want to stick to their decision and refuse any help. If you truly wish to help them, work on your language. Say “I’m impressed by your zeal to work hard. But I also want to support this task, so may I?

This shows that you genuinely want to join them and won’t do it just because they are incapable. They’ll feel appreciated and be more eager to work together.

5. Never make fun of miracles

Type H people believe in rare possibilities and don’t give up just because it seems to be a dead end. They stay hopeful and expect some solution to appear as they incessantly put efforts to find one. But people around them often mock them for being delusional because they never stop.

Make sure you never talk slowly about a type H person just because they don’t stop trying. You don’t know what goes on in their mind. Put yourself in their shoes and you might have given up and felt helpless. So, respect them for having a strong mind. Learn to be like them and compliment them for their choices.

Your praises will give them the power and courage to hang on and reach their goals. Among all the negative comments, your one encouragement might make all the change they ever desired.

6. Don’t demean their research but ask them to join in

A type H person doesn’t just wait around for the miracle, they check all the possible outcomes of the situation. They identify the root cause of the troubles and search for ways they can deal with them. They also find the resulting troubles and check for other ways to diminish their effects.

While they study their problems deeply, many ridicule their attempts at finding solutions. Many even insultingly say that it’ll be too late when they find the solution. This takes a major toll on their confidence. So, when you see a type H in such situations, notice what they’re researching and offer to join in.

Of course, they may not admit that they need help but insist on it. Tell them that you both can get the work done faster in this way. They’ll understand and accept your help eventually.

7. Avoid calling them fickle for their change

Type H people are ready to change their lifestyle, habits, or choices if that doesn’t work for them or affects their life negatively somehow. For instance, they might suddenly change their diet or sleep routine because it hurts their health.

However, when they make these changes, they don’t go around explaining to everyone the reasons for such drastic changes. People around them assume they did so because they are fickle-minded or get bored with routines. If you’re not that familiar with the type H around you, you might also think similarly.

But refrain from jumping to conclusions about a type H person. Never talk mockingly about these drastic changes because they always have a reason. If you’re curious, ask them directly and they’ll gladly share. If someone else spreads such rumors, don’t trust them. Otherwise, your bond and communication with the type H person will be strained.

8. Apologize only if you mean it

In this world, people use the phrases “I am sorry” and “I apologize” way more than they must. It’s like the shortcut to get away with crimes. People say sorry and expect others to forget everything.

Well, type H people are extremely compassionate towards others and whenever people seek forgiveness, they readily forgive. They believe in leaving the past behind and looking forward to the future.

However, it’s not easy to forget all the bitter feelings an offender arises. So, when you apologize, make sure you take responsibility and change yourself for real.

If you can’t work on yourself, they won’t be angry with you, but they’ll definitely not have you in their life at all. Once you become their repeat offender, they’ll slowly push you away. Don’t worry, they won’t hold a grudge against you, but they won’t give you another chance either.

9. Stop talking about the worst

Type H individuals are optimistic even during the worst moments of their lives. They don’t let their fears overpower them at any cost. They know that the moment they surrender to their fears, they won’t be able to live peacefully. Every moment will be full of anguish and negativity.

Their lives are average with average pains in everyone’s lives. So, be a bit more compassionate and never mention the negative consequences of a situation. This can also trigger negative self-talk and they might give up on grave situations too fast and actually lose important opportunities.

If you worry about the worst possible situation, do it in your mind or with someone else. Never say “What if this becomes a bad plan?” This instills self-doubt and fear of the worst possible scenario. It’ll be great if you can control the negativity around them.

10. Encourage and guide them away from troubles

A type H person never accepts defeat in the face of setbacks. And as mentioned before, always encourage them on their journey to solve their issues. Support them in every possible way as it’ll give them the courage and moral support to keep going.

However, before you do that, look closely at their approach. If you ever find any issue, be honest and speak out. When it’s about such sensitive moments, forget about being delicate and tell them what’s wrong with their ideas and plans along with the reasons.

When you share this bad news, make sure your voice doesn’t waver and don’t look away from their eyes. Otherwise, they might not believe in you… they might even suspect that you want to misguide them unless they know you for a long time.

But if you wanna talk to a HEXACO H-type, keep reading!


How to Communicate with a Type H – honesty-humility?

If your H-type acquaintance is extremely strict about their morals and doesn’t at all feel motivated with anything materialistic, they are definitely the HEXACO ones. Communicating with them might make you anxious and you can’t even tell them to work harder. But, you can effortlessly communicate with them if you follow these…

1. Tell them that you trust them

A type H person due to their high morals and ethics is trustworthy and truthful. You can rely on them with their eyes closed because they are honest. While everyone feels comfortable about having someone honest around them, most people forget to appreciate them for it.

So, when was the last time you complimented your type H acquaintance?

If you can’t remember that, it’s high time you tell them how thankful you are to meet them… that you can depend on them without a worry. These people are too modest to understand how valuable they are. So, spill a few words of gratitude whenever you depend on them and their qualities.

They’ll feel recognized and strive to do better in their responsibilities. This will boost their confidence and make them feel more positive about everything.

2. Don’t react if they refuse a request

Usually, type H people undertake all tasks with confidence and ensure they’re all completed successfully. Their loyalty knows no bounds. Eventually, people start assuming that they have some sort of superpower. So, whatever task they’re entrusted with, they’ll take care of it without complaints… because they’re loyal!

However, they are human beings and everything isn’t possible for them. And when something is beyond their scope, they’re still as truthful as ever. They’ll honestly express that they can’t do something, give their reason, and refuse the responsibility.

If you depended a lot on them for the task and were hopeful, you might feel disappointed and clueless about your next step. But make sure, you don’t lose your mind to the point of questioning their honesty. Understand that they don’t want to put you in that position either. They also don’t want to do a subpar task and disappoint you last minute.

3. Don’t test them with low H morals

A type H person hates and judges everything as immoral. If you know them for a long while, you’ll know how they react to any dishonest action. People around them might test their morality just for fun… to see if they can control humane urges or whether they are truly honest people.

For instance, a lover of a type H person might set up their friend to hit on the type H partner. They test whether their partner would cheat on them for a richer and more attractive person. But this also happens in friendships and families. Sometimes employers even test their employees this way.

However, the moment a type H person hears something immoral, they start judging the other person. So, don’t even jokingly test them that way. Otherwise, you might ruin your bond with them forever.

4. Remind them that everyone is right in their own way

As mentioned, type H people are extremely judgmental of people with a low H factor in them. However, not all of the low H-level people are criminals. So, refrain them from judging others. Whenever they say something judgmental about their surroundings, snap them back to reality.

If they show contempt towards someone for a low honesty factor, clearly state that they’re being unfair to an innocent… and that their stereotyping might truly trigger someone to become a criminal later on. Tell them that people can change eventually and that only they can help others do it.

Be confident while you convince them about this. Maintain eye contact to show that you’re also being honest with them and not making things up.

5. Never lie to them

Again, ensure that you don’t become one of the dishonest people type H folks hate. So, how will they know about your morals? How will they trust anyone unless they know that they are as trustworthy as them?

Well, you can’t prove that you’re trustworthy, but at least you can show that you aren’t dishonest. So, never lie to them… and even if you must use white lies, ensure that those are nothing too big and they can’t find out the actual truth.

Always keep your word and don’t give them false expectations. Be kind to others whether they are around you or not.

Be consistent in these actions and they won’t be wary of you. If they know you for a while and hardly ever catch your lies, there’s a higher chance of them knowing about your real H factor.

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

Whatever H-type you have around you, remember that effective communication needs both sides to partake in. So, don’t just continuously talk and allow them to express themselves. Moreover, don’t expect them to feel comfortable talking to you.

The reason?

Well, most people misunderstand them, so they might feel a bit stunned when you read them right and act accordingly. But you’ll soon enjoy that effortless communication so keep trying!

Article Sources


1. https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2013-01/uoc-thf010413.php
2. https://www.wlupress.wlu.ca/Books/T/The-H-Factor-of-Personality2
3. https://vancouversun.com/news/staff-blogs/is-there-a-type-h-healing-personality