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How to Deal with a Delta Male? 20 Working Tips

How to Deal with a Delta Male? 20 Working Tips

Updated on Nov 29, 2022 | Published on Nov 29, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

How to Deal with a Delta Male? 20 Working Tips

If you’re interested to know how to deal with a delta male, let me ask you something. Did that person take a personality quiz or is this just a guess?

Sometimes, guessing might not be enough, so it’s wise to take a test to know for sure. Otherwise, you might deal with him in the wrong ways. But if you’re certain, this think-piece has everything you need to know.

So, let’s get down to work here…

How to Deal with a Delta Male?

Delta males aren’t easy to handle because they suppress their emotions. You don’t know when you might offend him and he’ll chase you down for revenge. That’s downright crazy and scary… and I don’t want you to face anything like that.

So, let’s assure your safety with these steps…

1. Don’t force him to socialize

Delta males are introverted, shy, and love to spend time in solitude like sigma and beta males. They dislike spending time with noisy crowds. He only likes to be around his inner circle. But even if he’s with his trusted people, he needs some time away to recharge. He’s not good with

So, don’t force him to go out often. Invite him but don’t be offended if he refuses you. If it’s a noisy party with strangers, he’ll turn you down… but you can still offer him to join.

Even if he joins in, don’t force him to stay back till late. Let him retire for the night earlier than others.

2. Motivate him to share his opinions

He hardly shares his thoughts with others and everyone assumes that he doesn’t have opinions. However, he has a lot on his mind but only keeps quiet to avoid conflicts.

He doesn’t want to face unnecessary confrontations or be judged for being different.

If you want him to be honest with you, communicate that. Tell him that you’re ready to hear and consider his opinions.

Even if his views are completely opposite, don’t judge or look down on him. Otherwise, he’ll never express himself again.

Be careful about your reaction to his thoughts. If you have different opinions, discuss them respectfully and reach a middle ground.

3. Don’t pry into his personal life

The delta man is a private person and likes to upkeep certain boundaries. He doesn’t like to share his personal life with ones he’s not close to.

If you’re not his loved one yet feel curious about his life, he’ll ignore the conversation. Take that signal and don’t ever snoop unless he wants to open it. If you repeatedly pry in, he’ll hate you for that.

On the other hand, if you became friends or lovers recently or are his distant relative, don’t assume that you’re close. Respect his boundaries until he’s comfortable sharing things by himself. 

4. If he won’t lead, let him be

When it’s to leadership, there are two possibilities for a delta male. He either can’t lead due to a lack of skills… or won’t lead because he doesn’t want the responsibilities or doesn’t have faith in himself.

If the important skills are missing, there’s nothing to worry about. He can continue being led around by other leaders.

Suppose you believe that he can be a good leader. Discuss your thoughts about it and get his opinion. If he has confidence issues, convince him with some encouragement.

However, if he refuses the offer, just give up.  A delta man is pretty aware of his decisions and consequences… so, his choice is definitely for the best!

5. Share one good thing about him regularly

A delta male is insecure and suffers from self-doubt. He overthinks every little thing and sabotages himself. Let’s refer to the situation. Suppose he also believes that he can be a reliable leader but he takes time to think.

Meanwhile, his overthinking spree will go wild. He’ll remember all the times he tried and failed. He’ll highlight the negative consequences of his choices. He will put himself down in his mind every moment.

So, support him with optimistic thoughts daily. Compliment his tasks and mention his strengths to him. Even if he returns to the negative self-talk cycle, your praises will help him snap back to reality.

Eventually, he’ll question his pessimism and regain confidence.

6. Remind him he can be whatever he wants

Another way to encourage a delta male is to remind him about his flexible personality. If he wants to, he climbs the ladder of socio-sexual hierarchy and becomes an alpha, beta, or sigma male. If he doesn’t maintain himself, he might become an omega or gamma male.

Remind him that if he sets his mind to it, he can change his life. If you’re close, refer to the times when he was an alpha. If he’s motivated to improve himself, support him suitably.

However, if he is strictly against improving, don’t force him.

7. Put a check on his substance consumption

A delta male has confidence issues and thinks poorly of himself. He also suppresses his thoughts and emotions. This impacts his mental and emotional health harshly and he’s prone to substance abuse.

He might feel better after one shot and soon get addicted. Now, you can’t stop an adult from substance consumption.

But if you’re his coworker or boss, don’t let him show up at work drunk because that can cause work hazards. If you’re a loved one, stop him from crossing the limit if you’re around. And if he becomes abusive due to addiction, give him an ultimatum and take serious measures if needed.

8. Don’t get on his bad side

The delta man is the most bad-tempered of them all in the male personality types. If anyone hurts him, he holds grudges until he gets revenge on him.

He doesn’t let the other person know that he’s mad… instead, he lets them assume that he’s over it. But when they are at their worst point, he takes his revenge.

He doesn’t even care if that person is a stranger, acquaintance, or loved one… his pettiness takes the better of him!

So, try to avoid hurting him… even though it’s next to impossible. If you ever hurt him, explain yourself if it wasn’t intentional. But if it was intentional, brace for the worst!

9. Communicate clearly during fights and ask him to do the same

During fights, a delta man plays it pretty unfairly. He will blame you and might even make you believe that you’re the one at fault. Or, if the fight goes out of hand and outsiders get involved, he’ll convince them that he’s the weak one.

Even if you’re not at fault, he’ll easily turn the tables on you. As a result, a delta male’s fights usually turn toxic. To deal with this issue, try to be calm during any confrontation.

Don’t scream and take a break if you can’t control yourself. If he loses his mind and starts screaming, don’t let it affect you. Instead, postpone the conversation to a later time.

Pave the path with healthy conversation skills to figure things out.

10. Remind him that nothing will change by itself

The delta male complains about everything about his life. He’ll whine about his low-paying jobs yet will neither seek better jobs nor improve his qualifications. He’ll also call women golddiggers for having standards.

Whether you’re his friend or family member, show him the truth of the world. Tell him that better jobs won’t come by themselves… he must step out of his comfort zone and seek them.

Remind him that women are free to have their choices. So, if he wants a high-value woman, he must have the desired traits. Complaints won’t change a thing in his life.

11. Align your interests with him

Another of the traits of a delta male is his nerdy interests. He likes to play video games, dive into long YouTube spirals about technology, and read science fiction.

He isn’t into going out with friends or spending time with physically active pastimes. Others can’t approach him because his interests are so different. He feels it’s alright to be this way… but it only makes him lonely and everyone treats him like an outcast.

As a friend, make a pact to invest time in both of your choice of activities. On some days, indulge in his nerdy choices… on others, explore your outdoor interests together. Save him from being an outcast!

12. Seek him during your crises  

A delta male is always supportive of his loved ones. He has a small inner circle and doesn’t try to expand it any time soon. So, he tries to care for everyone as much as he can. He can even step out of his comfort zone for them.

So, if you’re his friend or family member, seek him whenever you can. This man is already insecure about himself. If you don’t seek his help, he’ll feel you look down on his social status.

If you seek his support, he’ll feel recognized and trusted. This will boost his self-confidence and he might also find the courage to change for the better.

13. When he’s moody, compliment him on something

In the past, a delta male was an alpha male and changed because of life-changing circumstances. His entire outlook and approach to life changed along with his personality traits.

He’s no longer the outgoing man that supported others. He lost his leadership skills for good… and it’s not like he can revert the change if he wished to.

He hates his social standing and becomes furious about his life and fate. So, whenever a delta male seems moody, remind him of his good traits. Soothe his hurt heart with optimistic thoughts.

Don’t bring up his past whether you know it or not. Let him know that you’re ready to listen to him at any time.

14. Consider his welfare if you’re his boss

In the workplace, a delta male is extremely dedicated and driven. He might not want a huge promotion and doesn’t even seek better opportunities in other companies. As his boss, you might assume that he’s lazy and has nowhere else to go.

Most bosses take this as a signal to take their employees for granted. They don’t think about their welfare and expect them to continue working without complaints.

But never try that with a delta male… otherwise, he’ll be disappointed and won’t put in enough effort. Your business or team will collapse pretty soon if you take that path. So, focus on their welfare during crucial decisions.

15. Don’t expect him to blindly obey higher-ups

Unlike most people, a man with delta male personality traits doesn’t worship influential people without question. They believe that powerful people are supposed to be others’ protectors.

They must seek justice for them and help them in whatsoever ways… within their own means. At least, they must support the less fortunate ones and stay true to these responsibilities.

He’ll respect an alpha only if he abides by these, otherwise, he calls them out.

So, if you’re an authoritative figure in his life, don’t demand unconditional respect. Never ask him to respect a powerful person because you do as it’ll only ruin your connection with him.

16. Never disrespect him

A delta male knows that he’s a worthy person in the social hierarchy. No… don’t assume he’s delusional because that’s the truth.

An average guy like him holds the most say because the people above depend on them. He brings value to the socio-sexual hierarchy with his skills.

For instance, will a multinational business work without the workers towards the base?

It won’t take a minute to crumble down. So, respect him and his status even if it’s lower than yours. Without the delta men in society, most large-scale businesses won’t exist.

So, show gratitude to him for his effort and skills and look out for his welfare.

17. Don’t contact him beyond work hours

If you’re someone from his workplace, discuss work with him only during the shift.

A coworker or employee in the delta male archetype has a strict work-life balance. He only focuses on his work during his shift… but beyond that, he’ll not discuss it.

This is a healthy trait and you must also embrace it. However, if you’re a workaholic and even think about working on weekends, fine! Just don’t force delta men to do the same… because they won’t accept that.

So, respect his space beyond shift hours. Let him be on his own, leave him a text or mail, and he’ll get back to you!

18. Don’t expect materialistic gifts from him

Honestly, a delta male doesn’t aim for progress in his life. He doesn’t aim to be top in class or pursue higher studies. With the basic qualification, he can’t get a job in a managerial post. Entry-level jobs always pay an average amount.

So, whether you’re his lover or family member, don’t ask for materialistic gifts from him.

In romantic relationships, he’s extremely romantic. So, he’ll try something to make your heart race. However, don’t expect anything extreme or expensive. If you have such expectations, it’s fair to communicate and move on.

If you’re a family member, don’t depend too much on him. Even if you can get a part-time job, provide for yourself.

19. Be clear about the desired dynamics in your relationship

Before you get into a relationship with a delta male, clearly convey your needs. What kind of relationship dynamics works best for you?

Do you want him to take charge or do you want to power in the relationship? Remember, power comes with responsibility, so think wisely.

Do you want more spontaneity? Express that to him and know his thoughts. Reach a middle ground before you start a relationship and feel miserable.

Don’t be afraid of sharing your thoughts just because he won’t like it. If you stay transparent from the get-go, you’ll both benefit from it.

20. If he approaches his crush as a friend, don’t make fun of him

A delta male is already insecure about his romantic life. He knows that he isn’t the best out of everyone. He’s aware that women desire authoritative alpha or sigma males.

The Average Joe is never enough for most women. Even if a delta man approaches his crush, he gets turned down.  So, he starts with friendship as the base.

Though this is a great way to show off his good sides, everyone doesn’t appreciate it. His friends make fun of him because he isn’t straightforward. The woman loses her mind because “he had an ulterior motive all along”

If you’re his friend, encourage him with good dating tips. If you’re his crush, turn him down gently. React only if he still persists, otherwise, go easy on him.

A word from ThePleasantPersoanlity

The mentioned steps help you deal with all the regular issues of a delta male. However, personality can’t be strictly a single type in any person. So, work on the parts that are evident in him.

Suppose he doesn’t mind discussing work beyond shift hours. Skip that step (#17) as it doesn’t apply.

But if you notice some other issue, find out a way to deal with that. Follow the required steps, and you’ll definitely have an amicable bond with him!

Article Sources


1. https://herway.net/delta-male/
2. https://theadultman.com/love-and-lust/delta-male/
3. https://lemetropolelille.com/delta-male/