You wanna know “how to deal with a gamma male”… is it since the day you knew about that annoying guy’s personality type? Perhaps, you deal with him regularly at work, school, or home?
Well, the gamma male can be a real pain in the a$$ sometimes. Dealing with him is pretty hard and this think-piece will help you have an amicable bond with him.
So, let’s get started!
How to Deal with a Gamma Male?
Is it because you hate a gamma male for acting like a know-it-all? Perhaps, you’re only concerned that he’ll lose his tracks and walk on the wrong path. Or, you just want to avoid hurting him with careless actions. Whichever your case is, let’s get right into it!
1. Never put him down for limited skills
A man with a gamma male personality type is highly intelligent in only a few things. He only has 2 or 3 great nerdy skills. He isn’t an all-rounder like the sigma or alpha males.
So, he doesn’t have the “cool” skills but only those that’ll help him earn a living. He might not be that great at dealing with daily life issues either.
Most people expect him to sharpen his skills and become one of the best men. Otherwise, they feel disappointed in him which drags down his confidence.
Before you judge him, ask yourself whether you’re the best. Even if you’re great, don’t put him down for being different. He is a human being and it’s okay to not be the best. Stop anyone if they try to hurt him about this.
2. Accept his feminine side
Due to the feminine traits of a gamma male, he receives major unwanted attention. People judge him and question his gender and sexuality. They make fun of him because he believes in self-love and has feminine interests.
Others’ opinions don’t discourage him and he continues doing what he likes. But he knows who to get rid of from his life. He eventually pushes away anyone that looks down on him for being “girly”.
So, if you don’t want to be his enemy or even more… a stranger!… let him do what he likes. He doesn’t hurt anyone by being feminine. Rather, it helps him soothe his worries away, so let him have his moment.
3. It’s okay if he likes to follow
He just doesn’t want to be a leader even if you force him to. He is content with his position with his current designation. Whether you’re his boss, a family member, or a lover… don’t push him too hard.
Your frustration is completely legit. He’s good at his job and even has the skills to climb up the ladder. Especially, if you’re his family or lover, you look forward to his welfare as it will bring prosperity and you’ll all have better living standards.
But consider his point of view before you push him. If you already have a standard lifestyle, don’t push him. If you don’t and are capable, get a job for yourself. Of course, if you can’t work for any reason, communicate.
4. Confront his nice guy syndrome
Men with gamma male personality types believe that their compassion and empathy can attract women naturally.
They feel that they deserve women more because they are the nicest guy around… which leads us to the nice guy syndrome!
When women reject them, they whine that women only care about “bad boys” and don’t value them.
A gamma man’s entitled attitude is truly detestable so if you hate him for that, totally understandable! So, don’t keep quiet and be honest but don’t hurt him. Say “No woman is entitled to feel romantically or sexually attracted to you just because you helped them.”
He won’t like the bitter truth initially. But if you continue to calmly explain reality, he’ll get it eventually. It’s even better if a woman tells him this.
5. Don’t judge him by his looks
Appearance is a huge deal in the current world whether you want to get a job or a partner. If you’re a hiring manager and your firm needs someone to look fit and healthy, do your thing.
But otherwise, don’t pass unwanted comments on his appearance. Of course, if you want to help him, help him with a wardrobe makeover or show him easy ways to stay fit and healthy.
Otherwise, don’t say anything nasty, and don’t let others treat him badly. But if you meet a gamma male acquaintance and you hardly know him, don’t jump to conclusions based on his looks!
6. Appreciate his romantic side but be clear about your needs
Let’s say he has a crush on you. He’ll try his best to treat you well with grand romantic gestures. But let’s be honest, romance may feel great but, in reality, a lot of other factors matter too.
So, figure out your priorities in a relationship. Is it romance, financial stability, status, or authority?
If he can’t satisfy your needs, be honest and kind. It’s okay to have some standards but don’t hurt him.
Tell him “I appreciate your kind gestures… they definitely sweep me off my feet. But I need a partner that’s…”
If you feel you guys can work out if he fulfills any criteria, clearly communicate that.
7. If he judges you for your needs, walk away
Suppose you tell him about your needs for a healthy relationship. He listens but he doesn’t understand you. He might still be onto something like “Isn’t being sweet enough for you?” or “Why are you so superficial?”
If he can’t respect your opinion, Hun, he doesn’t deserve you. Yes, there’s no better way to say this… but if he judges you for having standards, screw him!
Even if he courts you with more gifts but doesn’t try to work on what you need, don’t invest time in him.
However, if you’re a friend or well-wisher and he acts this way, stop him. Explain that he only disgusts his crush with his ways and tells him where he went wrong.
8. If he’s jealous of your better dating life, share a secret or two
If you’re his friend or family and women like you better than him, he’s definitely jealous. He hates how others look down on him or compare him with you. That feeling sucks so bad, so help him out of it!
Share some genuine tips to become more desirable. It might be a fashion upgrade or other things women like nowadays.
If you’re a co-worker and the boss likes you better, share what he has to do for the same treatment.
Remind him that jealousy only makes him more undesirable and uncool. So, he must compete with you while you support him.
However, if you don’t wanna help and keep your distance, that’s fine too!
9. Help him add a hint of mystery to his personality
He isn’t as desirable as the alpha, beta, or sigma males of the socio-hierarchy. This is partly because he’s too open about himself. Everyone can read him like an open book and know everything good and bad at one glance.
With a little conversation, people find out that he feels entitled, judges women for having standards, or feels jealous of others’ dating life.
People know more than they need too early. This ruins his dating life way before it even starts. So, help him control his emotions and thoughts.
Of course, ask him to get over the insecurities and poor assumptions. But nobody can change so fast, so help him become mysterious.
10. Clear the false narrative with open communication
The gamma man thinks that he’s the true alpha male. With this false narrative, he denies the reality of his personality. If you tell him otherwise, he reminds you that he is the only intelligent person in the group.
He also thinks that he is morally superior for getting rejected more. He feels that’s a sign of his pure heart which nobody recognizes. He feels he’s secretly the king of the social hierarchy.
But this obstructs major self-improvement steps, so be honest about the reality.
Tell him that he’s surrounded by people with low IQs, so he can’t call himself the alpha so easily. Let him check his personality traits with both alpha and gamma males.
11. Tell him that passive aggression won’t help in a grave situation. Lead by example!
The gamma man is conflict avoidant, but it’s not because he’s afraid of hurting others. Rather, he can’t stand attacking the other person directly. He’d rather express his dissatisfaction with passive aggression.
He might make minor inconveniences to the other person at most. But that doesn’t help him or others. So, if you can interfere in the situation, charge the other person face-to-face. Show the gamma man how to deal with such situations and tell him that passive aggression isn’t a fruitful method.
But if he reacts passive-aggressively towards you, seek him. Tell him that you’d rather communicate than get attacked from the back.
12. Chat about his risk avoidance and share the complete picture
He’s a risk avoidant and has an unnatural fear of failure. You can’t magically make this fear go away or add courage to his soul. This is a real issue for him and he can’t change it willingly.
However, hang out together and communicate with him about him. Ask him what he thinks about his risk-avoidant nature. Try to know if he knows about the lost opportunities due to his troubles.
Ask if he’d like to change it and share a helping hand. If he agrees, whenever there’s an opportunity, he must seek you, talk about his anxieties and take slow steps to progress.
If he’s not interested, don’t push him!
13. Whenever he makes excuses to deny reality, confront him
He knows he’s not the best in most things. But when a girl refuses him, he acts like he didn’t have a crush on her at all. Instead, he’ll call her a gold digger or ugly. He might blame it all on the female race or society to deny the truth.
If another man gets a partner before him, he’ll say he gets women because he’s a player. If that man gets the gamma male’s crush, he’ll spread nasty rumors about them.
He destroys all of his connections this way. So, remind him that this only gets him unnecessary enemies. No need to beat around the bush, just tell him to work on himself because it’s pretty childish.
14. Share a few self-help tips or books on flirting
He doesn’t understand women’s needs at all. Instead of flirting, connecting, spending time together, or knowing each other, he rushes way too fast. He believes that a man must show a woman how far he can go to impress her with gifts, loving actions, and help.
Even though he has feminine qualities too, it’s astonishing how he isn’t aware. So, refer to a self-help book for him or just explain how relationships work.
If you’re his crush, tell him that you need time to know him. Don’t let him assume that he doesn’t have anything else to do. Tell him what kind of dates you wanna go on or how else you wanna connect with him.
15. If he’s too clingy in the relationship, carefully explain and convince
If you guys are already in a relationship, beware! Due to hopeless romanticism, he believes that couples spend the most time together to bond. He doesn’t understand that you also need time for yourself and other loved ones.
So, if he stops you from going outside or doesn’t let you be on your own, it creates strict boundaries. Don’t let his puppy eyes melt your heart. Tell him how long you need to time away.
Don’t forget to explain that you need time away to be happy. If the relationship stops you, you won’t feel the same eventually.
16. Don’t do anything manipulative even unintentionally
Due to his emotional hypersensitivity, he can get emotionally manipulated. If someone appreciates, accepts, or validates him, he feels great. He tries to receive that same feeling by doing the same thing to make them happy.
On the other hand, if anyone criticizes or rejects him, he feels bad about himself and tries to do better next time. He becomes addicted to validation pretty easily, so he’s easy to manipulate.
Try to not react so that he feels attached to your validation. If he doesn’t agree with something, don’t criticize him. Rather, agree to disagree and move on. Otherwise, it’ll bug him and he’ll try to make up like a manipulated person.
17. Be alert if anyone else tries to manipulate him
You aren’t the only person around him and he interacts with many other people. If you ever notice anyone else acting manipulative, stand up for him. If you don’t want to confront them directly, talk to your gamma acquaintance. Tell him what you notice and let him decide what he wants.
If he wants you to help, go ahead and confront the other person together. Otherwise, feel free to walk away.
18. Let him know the consequences of his choice
He doesn’t like to take others’ advice and believes he’s always right. His self-confidence is actually due to his high intelligence in his field.
Well, you can’t force him to accept something. However, since you advised him something, spill the entire truth. Share the possible troubles he might face afterward if he doesn’t follow your advice.
After that, let him choose alone and you’ll say nothing about it.
19. If he doesn’t own his mistake, get rid of the stigma of being wrong
The gamma man never accepts that he’s wrong. Especially if others warned him but he didn’t take it seriously, he’ll blame it all on his fate. Well, some reasons to do this are his insecurity, pride, and judgmental thoughts.
He can’t afford to accept he’s wrong because “he’s the best”. He’s probably afraid of being looked down on.
So, tell him that it’s okay to make and own mistakes if he learns something from them. Promise him that you won’t look down on him and are open to even helping deal with the issues.
20. Seek a mental health therapist ASAP
He has a lot of issues like risk aversion, conflict avoidance, jealousy, an entitled attitude, not owning mistakes, and so on. These might not be so simple and be symptoms of a trauma or a mental health concern.
So, if you’re close to him, suggest getting a checkup. Offer to go along to support him throughout the process. But again, if he refuses, you have nothing to do!
A word from ThePleasantPersonality
Before you begin this journey, remember that you can’t change your attitude toward him overnight. And even if you successfully do that, he might not notice your efforts so soon.
Moreover, he’s also quite stubborn about his perceptions. So, ultimately, patience is the key to dealing with him successfully. Control impulsive reactions, be kind and communicative and things will work out!