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How To Deal With A Sigma Male – 20 Steps To Master It!

How To Deal With A Sigma Male – 20 Steps To Master It!

Updated on Nov 18, 2022 | Published on Nov 16, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

How To Deal With A Sigma Male – 20 Steps To Master It!

Wondering how to deal with a sigma male? Want to befriend him and curious about the landmines? Or, do you just want to keep the coast clear to flirt with him?

Well, my think-piece will help you get close to this cool loner perfectly. Whether you met him in your office, at school, or just around the neighborhood, you can attract him with my tips.

So, let’s get started!

How to Deal with a Sigma Male?

A sigma male is so aloof that you might doubt if this will work at all. However, it’s time to get rid of negative thoughts. Be confident about yourself… and believe that you are the coolest of the lot.

You’ll eventually respect and be yourself… which is the greatest way to show him that you’re a worthy one.

The sigmas can be a handful at times. So, don’t be intimidated while you follow these…

1. Don’t push any responsibility on him

Sigma males don’t like to commit to others or take responsibility for large groups. They want to be as free as a bird and lead their life without trouble. The lone wolf doesn’t want anything to pull him back. So, allow him to be independent if you can.

Of course, if those people can’t rely on anyone else, that’s okay. For instance, he can’t avoid family responsibility unless someone else can deal with it.

However, if you’re his supervisor at work and there are other capable people to lead the teams, let him go. He likes to be independent, so let the poor guy enjoy his time.

2. Don’t control him with unjustified rules

Sigma men don’t care about rules, regulations, or traditions that are followed without reason. The lone wolves often seek reasons behind rules. But when they can’t find any, they have the urge to violate these rules and find out what can go wrong.

These curious beings can’t be controlled with social shackles. So, don’t even waste your time on it. Instead, let them explore and know more about the world.

Even if the rules have a good reason, let them give it a shot (only if the consequences are minor). They can learn a lot from practical experience.

3. Never challenge him to prove his worth

Men with sigma male personality traits know that they’re nothing but introverted alpha males. They are as powerful as them but they don’t like boasting about it. A sigma man knows that he’s worthy and doesn’t care about proving himself to anyone else.

So, even if you challenge him to prove himself, it won’t help. The sigma male doesn’t care about validation or appreciation. He’ll instead get offended and ignore you.

So, if you don’t want to be ignored for a lifetime, change your strategy.  Because this one will only make your connection bitter.

4. Avoid being noisy around him

To sigma male personality types, silence is the best gift you can give them. Whoa… don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t want you to shut up. But he appreciates silence a lot, so don’t unnecessarily create noise.

If you’re in a relationship with a sigma male, take him on romantic and intimate dates to a mountain cabin or even at your home.

If you’re a friend, don’t take him clubbing. Instead, spend time with him in a park. If you’re a coworker, avoid unnecessary chit-chat.

5. Keep him away from the spotlight

The lone wolf doesn’t like socializing, so don’t push him to socialize a lot. If he often skips parties, don’t assume the worst about him. Socializing exhausts him, and he dislikes idle small talk.

He doesn’t like to be at the center of the spotlight. His social skills aren’t great, either. So, let him off unless it’s a super important event for you.

In that case, just help him avoid the spotlight. Show him a solitary space where he can laze around and not catch too much attention. 

Or, if his appearance is important, then stick to him throughout the day. Whenever someone strikes up a conversation, steal the thunder… he’ll be so grateful for that!

Another of the unique traits of a sigma male is his lack of touch with social media. He doesn’t follow any kind of trends regarding appearance, clothes, food, or even about social presence.

He knows trends keep changing and sticks to his own ways. So, don’t expect him to enthusiastically contribute to a trendy topic. If you still blabber about it, he’ll feel you guys have nothing in common and avoid you for good.

Let’s say, you introduce him to another close friend. But they start discussing the latest trends. Entertain them for a moment and tactfully divert the topic. Otherwise, your sigma man won’t ever go out with you to meet your friends.

7. Learn whatever you can from him

A sigma male is comparable to an alpha male. Moreover, he’s better than an alpha in multiple ways. He’s influential, intelligent, confident, intuitive, and so on… so, you have a lot to learn from him.

If a sigma male is around but you guys aren’t friends, approach him. Tell him that you believe he’s cool and want to stick around. Don’t ask him to make you his disciple as he despises responsibility.

Instead, just hang out with him and focus on how he does things. Watch and learn to improve yourself.

8. Don’t expect him to compromise without benefits

If you know a sigma male in a formal platform like school or work, never expect too much from him. He’s pretty lenient towards his inner circle but not others.

Especially, don’t ask him to compromise unless he can gain something. Even if you plead with him, he won’t make a special concession for you.

In short, he won’t let people take advantage of him. So before approaching him, think of a good deal or don’t expect anything at all.

9. Criticize him constructively

A sigma male knows that he’s not perfect. He’s aware of his flaws and wants to work on himself. If anyone points out his genuine flaws or advises him, he’s more than happy to accept them. He doesn’t get defensive and is a realist about this.

So, whenever you have complaints with him, only use constructive criticism. Don’t try to crush his spirits or he’ll get the wrong vibes and become wary about you. Constructive criticism won’t send the wrong signals. He’ll know you’re a well-wisher and be open to your ideas.

10. Treat everyone equally

The sigma male doesn’t care about the social hierarchy. Whether you’re an alpha, beta, his boss, or a waiter, he’ll treat you the same. He doesn’t care about social status at all. He despises any system that treats some special while ignoring the other.

Since he believes in equality, make sure you practice the same. Don’t treat a service worker like a slave if you take him on a date. If you’re a coworker, treat the canteen employees respectfully.

He can’t stand injustice… and once he’s offended, he doesn’t spare a second glance. So, to not get ignored for a lifetime, mind your manners.

11. If you’re in trouble, just say it

Sometimes things don’t follow the plan… even if you believe that everything is on track. And a sigma male understands this. Suppose you’re his subordinate and messed up something you’re responsible for. Don’t be afraid to tell him about the matter. He’s pretty lenient and flexible about small mishaps.

So, be honest and explain yourself. Don’t worry… he won’t yell at you even if you’re at fault. Instead, he’ll focus on the crisis. This will be a great opportunity to learn from him, so focus and let the negativity go!

12. Discuss before he takes risks

Sigma males flirt with danger regularly… he’s more infatuated with risks than his lover. Yes, he becomes a handful when he has his sudden whims… but he usually takes calculated risks.

Of course, as a sigma male says, mistakes happen… and you have every right to interfere if you depend on him.

If your sigma male boss takes sudden risks, you can’t say much. But if your sigma male family member does it and he’s the only earning member, go ahead.

But wait… don’t talk in absolutes like “You always do this!” Instead, communicate with an open mind. Put forth your worries and ask about his plans regarding the off chances.

Calmly express yourself and you can stop him from taking major risks.

13. Don’t assume he needs help

Sigma men are in love with their independence. They love to be self-reliant… they don’t want to follow in others’ footsteps. They wish to be their own guide. So, even if he struggles with something, don’t reach out for a helping hand.

Usually, he’s pretty self-motivated to see his plans through.  But if he’s in a pickle, he might be in a bad mood. He might perceive your help as an insult. So, keep an eye on him from a distance. If he needs help, go ahead. But not before that… let the solitary and independent king have his pride!

14. Never force him to expand his circle

If you know a sigma male personally, you know he likes to keep his social circle tight and cozy. This is to avoid any unnecessary drama of having a big community… and to look out for enemies in the vicinity. He’s also not into socializing as it exhausts him. So, you’ll often see him lazing in solitude.

However, people often mistake him for being lonely. They think he needs a companion and start to chat with him. They even drop them uncalled-for advice to make friends.

He won’t get angry if you do that… but he’s pretty tired of it. If you want to stay close and know him better, that’s the last thing to do.

15. Keep his self-motivation in check

The lone wolf is always motivated despite his troubles. That’s usually a great thing… wondering why this is even on the list? Well, sometimes, his motivation might go way out of hand.

He might stubbornly chase his dreams without considering the available resources or time. He’s usually aware of everything, but his stubbornness might take the better of him.

So, when he fails and pushes through, silently calculate how many times he can go at it more. Don’t tell him anything about it. However, when he’s close to using all the attempts, communicate about it.

16. Don’t get jealous if you’re a lover

A sigma male is notorious for attracting too many women in all areas of his life. If you’re his lover, you might feel insecure at times. In fact, he’s not that expressive and cherishes his personal space. These can lead to misunderstandings… but hey, if he said he loves you, he doesn’t need anyone else.

He’s pretty upfront and if he gets second thoughts, he won’t lead you on. Just trust him as you always did. He’ll never betray your faith in him.

17. Be independent

Sigma men not only cherish their independence but get intrigued by self-reliant people. So, if you wanna date a sigma male, befriend him, or just want to have an amicable relationship with him, avoid seeking help from him.

If you ever do, try your best to depend on yourself. Don’t give up easily in the face of crises. You’ll leave a deep impression on him.

Of course, if you genuinely need help, don’t compromise and seek help. But if you can deal with it, then show him your power. He might even come around and strike up a conversation.

18. Communicate openly with him

If anything is bugging you, don’t expect a sigma male to read your emotions. He’s actually quite emotionally intelligent and can read others’ moods.

But he’s also a human being and can make mistakes. He might not always detect negativity. Or, he might mistake your emotions. Moreover, he can never guess your accurate feelings. So, talk to him openly instead.

Since he’s not expressive, be clear about your part. Don’t let your bond weaken due to the communication gap.

19. Avoid being dramatic

A great reason behind sigma males keeping their circle small is their distaste for drama and mind games. So, if you have any complaints, be upfront. Don’t create unnecessary drama in your bond.

If you’re a loved one and you need attention, just say it. It doesn’t feel great, but at least you’ll get immediate results.

On the other hand, if you feel he doesn’t love or appreciate you enough, don’t test him out. If you follow any immoral way to test him, he’ll lose faith in you for good. That might be the end of your relationship.

20. Focus on your life

If you’re his lover, try to enjoy your life without him. Invest in your personal and professional growth. Indulge in self-love activities like exercise, a healthy diet, and a balanced routine… despite what happens in your relationship.

Don’t cling to him to be happy in life. Otherwise, he’ll be turned off by you and push you away. Sigma males find independence and self-reliance immensely attractive. So, show him that you have a life even without him.

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

To deal with this lone king even better, you can even check out his strengths and weaknesses. This will help you understand if you need to work on any other areas. 

Remember, all human beings are unique and they might not align with the traditional sigma male definition completely.

And of course, be respectful and honest. These traits will show him you’re not a threat and help him open up better.

Article Sources


1. https://www.bolde.com/what-is-sigma-male-how-handle/
2. https://herway.net/11-traits-define-sigma-male/