Wondering how to deal with type A personalities? Want to tackle their extreme urgency and not come in their danger radar?
Oh… I totally know what you’re feeling but trust me, Type As aren’t that bad! It only needs a bit more patience to deal with them… and they’ll let you live your life.
Whether this person is someone in your office, a lover, a family, or your own child… this think-piece will answer all your questions.
So, let’s begin!
How to Deal With Type A Personalities – 25 Steps
Dealing with a Type A is quite tricky especially if you’re uncertain about their fears, dislikes, or motivators. You might commit mistakes and easily trigger a dislike… but if you nudge their motivators, you can get in their good books!
However, that’s not everything. You must also show your type A fellow that life isn’t about 100% work and 0% play.
C’mon, let’s help them balance their life and give you some peace here…
1. Normalize negative traits
Since you started learning about personality types, you learned about the negative traits of type A individuals… and you just can’t stand the traits. After becoming aware of it, your mind probably exaggerated the situation as Everyone with Type A behavior patterns is bad.
However, that’s far from true… though type As seems to be overbearing, everyone is flawed in their own way. Moreover, type As don’t intentionally act rude. Before you learn to deal with them, get rid of the thought that they’re bad or mean.
2. Remind them of the power of communication
Whenever something goes wrong, you might naturally lose your calm and throw back bitter words at them. You feel defensive at type A’s attacks and want to tear them off. However, you can’t continue feeling this way.
Instead, try to communicate your feelings calmly and respectfully. Try to understand their point of view and tell them that you understand their disappointments. Tell them that you’re ready to understand their pain and they don’t need to express it bitterly.
3. Try to avoid the negativity activator
People with type A personality traits have short temper. They get triggered when their sense of urgency activates. It might even be because your actions elevated their blood pressure.
Try to find out what truly angers them. If you can consciously avoid those, you can reduce a big deal of pressure on yourself. Especially, if it’s in your workplace, use this trick to save yourself from getting attacked.
On the other hand, if it happens in your personal relationship, you might feel pretty uncomfortable. But still, try to maintain this.
4. Never take their words personally
Most of the time, type A people don’t mean to be rude. They’re perfectionists and impatient. They perceive things their way… and spell out their opinion.
It can hurt you but it’s better to not pay much attention to their words. Apparently, their words highlight more of their own anxieties and insecurities and not yours.
Try to remember that and tune them out whenever they say something mean. Their feelings and opinions are possibly due to their childhood trauma. So, observe it from a different angle and let go of the grudges.
5. Build healthy boundaries
Whether in your personal, social, or professional life, if the type A person is quite controlling, set your boundaries. Just because you must try to understand them, doesn’t imply you must forget your happiness.
If something truly matters to you and you can’t handle their opinions, ask them to respect that calmly. Tell them that you won’t stand any criticism about it or you’ll take steps.
If they’re in your personal or social circle, cut all ties with them. If they’re someone in your professional life, report to HR for harassment.
6. Look at the brighter side
There are multiple pros and cons of having a type A personality close to you. Whether in personal or professional life, always think about the positive side of type A individuals.
If you remember why having someone around or being around someone is beneficial, you’ll cherish them much more.
If you value someone genuinely, you can make things work easily. For instance, cherish how much they guide you or the effort they put into themselves. Write a gratitude journal about these people to not lose sight of their awesomeness.
7. Balance the criticism mindfully
Don’t introduce a harsh criticism dynamic with a type A individual at work. Remember to not criticize them too harshly. Otherwise, they’ll overthink it and only see themselves as worthless. Instead, create a balance with healthy and constructive criticism.
If you receive criticism, don’t try to throw negative words back at them. If the other person is at fault, phrase your feelings positively. Ask them what kind of help they think they need. If they can’t answer, then put forward your advice.
8. Appreciate the effort
Type A employees thrive on recognition and rewards. They’re amazing workers, so give them what they truly deserve.
Congratulate them, spread the word among other employees, compensate them, give them the proper raise, and allow them to grow. Otherwise, they might quickly get demotivated.
The driving force for Type As in the workplace is money, recognition, and progress. If their growth is stunted, their commitment to their employer changes and they look for jobs elsewhere.
9. Study them and learn what pleases them
Try to understand what gets the type A around you happy. Many things tick them off and avoiding them will only keep them in a neutral mood. However, if you know a few things that can get their mood on, you can easily bypass getting attacked.
You can easily manipulate Type As in a good way if you know about their needs. This is hard if you don’t know them for a long time. So, take your time to understand the needed tricks.
10. Add relaxing moments
Whether this type A individual, a loved one, or a subordinate, help them prioritize their health. You can have a family or department trip to show them it’s okay to let loose.
Don’t just tell them to step out, help them do it. If you take the initiative, you can show them the importance of off time. Otherwise, they’ll only ruin their health.
11. Practice getting over your frustration
No matter how much you’re told to not mind a type A’s crude remark, that’s not that simple. So, get over your anger and urge to throw back sharp words. Try to count from 100 to 0 or do breathing exercises. It’ll help you calm down and control your responses.
You’ll also feel optimistic and focus on the important tasks. If not, you might mess up and get insulted even more.
12. Make them hang out with failures who succeeded
Type As believe that only success and money can bring them happiness. They forget to be happy from within. Whether your family, friend, or coworker is a type A, help them know certain people… whose life is imperfect yet perfect.
Surely, you know people whose life didn’t follow the plan and yet they succeeded. Or, take the idea from celebrities. Show them that failure isn’t the end.
Dealing with Type A if it is family
If the A-type is your partner, parent, or sibling, you must treat them a bit more cautiously and lovingly. Since your personal relationships are precious, show them how much they mean to you with these dedicated steps…
13. Never compete with them if they’re a loved one
If you’re in a relationship with a type A individual, remember that they’re so competitive because of their poor self-esteem and competitiveness. They just can’t handle losing, so don’t compete with them.
If they win, they’ll look down on you… and if they lose, they’ll be depressed. It’s a bad result either way. It’ll only get toxic otherwise.
So, remind them that you want to be equals and not compete in anything. Promise to celebrate each other’s success and not grow jealous of it. If either of you loses, promise that the other will support them.
14. Learn to compromise together
Compromising isn’t for everyone. You can apply this only to precious relationships like lovers that cherish their relationship.
So, if this type A individual is your lover, try to compromise on things that you both have polar opposite opinions on.
If your fights are about house chores, then try to find out a balanced routine that’s fair to both of you. If it’s about your parenting styles, discuss and try to reach the middle ground.
15. Set rules to spend time together for type A family
Type As often forget about spending time with their family. Don’t tolerate such habits. Tell your family member to enjoy time together with everyone at least once a week.
This will bond everyone strongly, diminish the chance of their social isolation, and remind them that they’re replaceable to their work, not their family.
How to deal with Type A if it is a child
If the A-type is your own child or someone you babysit or teach, keep in mind that the child hardly knows better. You, being an adult, must help them carve a healthy and balanced life. So, pave the way with sensitivity…
16. Never overindulge in their perfectionism
All parents and teachers want a child to excel in their studies. When they see a miraculous child that always gets straight “A”s in all subjects, the elders always make them push harder.
But perfectionists are prone to getting obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression anxiety, and other issues. All of these can be stopped if taken care of in childhood.
So, even if a child thrives to be perfect in everything, never push them or allow them to push themselves too hard for it.
17. Set realistic goals for kids
Goal setting might sound so simple and easy for you. But, type A children don’t know their capacity… even some adults don’t know their limits. So, make sure they don’t try to overachieve.
Does your kid want to get a 90+ in all subjects? Great! Do they want 100 or A+ in everything or feel like a failure? Stop them. Help them understand the meaning of failure and what their goals must be.
Don’t let them push themselves just because getting a 100 is better than a 90. If they can’t get a full score, you don’t know what psychological pain they might feel.
18. Teach them priority setting
If your type A child prioritizes studies over daily healthy habits like eating, exercise, playing, or break time, stop them. Of course, some parents feel proud when their kid holes up all day to study… but that’s not healthy.
Teach your child the essence of a balanced life. Otherwise, they’ll harm their bodies, weaken their immunities, or even stunt their growth. They only get to enjoy this phase of their life. and they also get to build their foundation now. So, show them the right path.
19. Remind your child to learn lessons instead of brooding over them
I had a classmate that came first every year. Whenever she missed her target of 100/100, she used to reflect on their scores until she got a full score on the next test. She didn’t play or talk with her best friend or anyone until she got her record back.
If your kid is type A, they’ll do the same. When they linger too much on their losses, teach them the important life lessons: Learn from your losses. Don’t repeat the same mistakes. Be true to yourself and it’s okay to be happy.
Ways on how to deal with Type A if it is in your workplace
Often, people only curse at A-types in professional life for being so strict and inflexible. However, you can ease your connection with A-type boss or co-worker easily if you keep some minor details in mind. So, cherish this valuable gem at office this way…
20. Avoid wasting your own time
If you deal with a type A coworker or boss, try to be punctual and precise. Even if you can’t submit your work before time or multitask like them, at least submit it on time and make it perfect so that it doesn’t need any more touch-ups.
If you can at least make your tasks flawless, it won’t trigger them like usual. Your type A coworker/boss already knows that everyone isn’t like them.
But, if you can show that you won’t cause them more trouble, it’ll be great progress.
21. If they’re your employee, keep them busy
If your type A employee is assigned to a group, they literally can’t take it because everyone else isn’t as fast as them. They’ll chew others’ heads off with their ideas to pick the pace. However, this might negatively impact the remaining bunch.
So, instead, keep your type A employee even busier with more tasks when they’re done working on the first one. This way, they won’t have time to mind others’ business. They’ll be satisfied to finish their tasks at their own pace.
22. For type A employees, reinforce healthy habits
If you’re a supervisor to a type A, you might notice they’ll stay back to work till late hours. This might be an attractive option to increase your team productivity… but think again.
This will make them more sensitive and lose balance over time. So, once they complete the day’s work, push them to get off their hours. This will remind them of the essence of a proper work-life balance.
23. Teach task delegation to Type A employees
If a type A employee is drowning in work, they never take help. Instead, they just try to make it work all by themselves. This leads to mental health disorders like depression and anxiety.
To avoid this, tell them that it’s okay to share the task with other team members or others under their lead. They may not take your advice easily as they don’t depend on others.
So, delegate the tasks the first few times by yourself. Show them how it’s done. Once they understand that things can become easier, they’ll apply it eventually.
24. Avoid long-drawn conversations
Type As cherish their time because they have lots of work to do. They appreciate it if you don’t take up too much of their time. So, don’t talk for too long with them and get straight to the point.
If your conversation needs a backstory then it can’t be helped, so continue. Otherwise, keep the small talk down. It’s okay if you don’t ask them how their family is doing and just stay straightforward. Or they might not listen to you at all and avoid communicating with you.
25. Maintain a streak of productivity
If your boss is a type A, try your best to do a good job. Be productive as much as you can within your working hours. Don’t feel obliged to stay beyond your work hours unless you or your team messed up something.
If you have a good track record and stay true to your responsibilities, you’re allowed to politely refuse extra work. Remember, you’re not responsible for their lack of time management.
Worst case scenario: Even if they try to terminate you, you can sue them back. Just read about labor laws in your location.
A word from ThePleasantPersonality
The type A around you probably doesn’t know that they have TABP (Type A Behavior Pattern). Since you’re aware, it’s your job to take care of them from behind the scenes or from the front… that’s totally up to you.
However, make sure you patiently help them. Don’t make them feel like they’re wrong. Rather, show them that they can make their life a bit more perfect.
Your fellow type A will be more than grateful to receive your help.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...