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How to Deal with Type D Personalities? 15 Ways

How to Deal with Type D Personalities? 15 Ways

Updated on Nov 18, 2022 | Published on Oct 03, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

How to Deal with Type D Personalities? 15 Ways

So, you’re wondering how to deal with type D personalities… and whether you can handle their pessimism or not? Or, whether you can convince them or not?

Oh… I understand your troubles. You care about that person but you just can’t get your thoughts across. The power of their negative minds is too strong for you.

But don’t worry, this think-piece will show you the perfect way to handle them appropriately.

C’mon, let’s get down to business!

How to deal with type D personalities?

Most people don’t want to deal with type D individuals because of their intense negativity. They think they’re a spoilt sport and will spoil everyone else’s moods. So, they might avoid D-types in personal, professional, and academic life.

However, you can befriend them in any area of your life and become really close to them.

So, what do you have to do?

Just follow these steps…

1. Understand what it’s like to be a type D

Before you learn to deal with them, find out what it’s like to have type D personality traits and the potential risks of having them. Understand why you must treat them a certain way and what goes on in their mind.

If you try to understand their thoughts, you can connect better with them.  You’ll even naturally become extra careful around them. Your actions won’t look forced and you’ll make them comfortable.

Learn about the physical and mental health concerns they might face due to their personality traits.

Many people might assume that they’re too shy or they can’t deal with the world. It’s because they don’t understand their issues. If you know about their emotions better, you’ll prevent such thoughts from popping into your mind.

This will help you to follow all the steps much better and help you show true compassion for them.

2. Convince them to communicate openly

People with a type D personality suppress their emotions and thoughts. Even when they don’t feel well physically or mentally, they don’t express it. They don’t tell others if they feel sad, hurt, anxious, angry, or anything else. They never show their negative emotions to others to avoid burdening them.

Their suppressed feelings are the main cause of piled stress and high chances of being depressed and anxious… which also leads to physical health concerns.

Express what they do to their body with their emotional repression. Tell them to take small steps to try communicating.

If they’re socially inhibited (avoid social interactions), get them a self-help book on healthy communications. If this type D person is a loved one, use the book together. If you know them in professional or academic life, give it to them and say you expect results from them.

3. Help them set boundaries

Type D individuals often get talked into things they don’t want to. They also can’t stand for themselves. They’re worried about the situation growing worse and taking the wrong turn. So, tell them it’s okay to say no. They don’t need to agree with every whim of others.

Suppose, you’re a family member, lover, or friend of a type D person, that you won’t feel nice if you unknowingly force them into doing anything.

If you know them in a professional setting, tell them that unless it’s an urgent task or they’re responsible for something, they don’t need to do overtime or accept someone’s disrespect silently.

If you see someone forcing a type D person, tell them to back off… don’t turn a blind eye to the situation because they need you.

If you have a type D child, teach them boundary setting and maintenance from scratch and help them practice it regularly whether you’re a parent, elder sibling, or teacher.

4. Show them everyone has a bad life

Type Ds focus too much on the negative side of their life. They compare themselves to others and believe they’re the only flawed ones. They brood over being inadequate even if they aren’t.

So, show them the bigger picture… and start with yourself. If they think your life is glorious, share all the difficulties you experienced.

Share your current struggles and convey that you’re still not half as perfect as they imagine. If they have a celebrity role model and think they have it easy, help them notice their struggles.

Ask them who else they believe is perfect in your surroundings and slowly talk about the possible or actual setbacks in their life.

However, never approach the situation with an “everyone struggles and you’re a crybaby” attitude. Otherwise, they’ll feel worse about themselves. The goal is to show them that nobody is perfect.

5. Compliment their efforts

People with D personality types are people-pleasers. They go to great extents to help people.

Even if it puts them at a disadvantage, they’ll extend a hand to others selflessly. They don’t want credits but they want to spread happiness in the world. So, make their day even more beautiful by praising their sweet gesture.

Most people are self-centered in this world… and we truly need more of such kind people. So, help them feel heard and recognized for their good traits. This will also help them deal with their negative emotions. They’ll know that the world still cares about them.

If possible, praise them in front of others. If they’re your coworker, do it in the presence of other employees. If they’re your friend, compliment them in front of other friends. If it’s your lover, do it when you’re alone and around others.

6. Ask them to take it easy

People with type D personality profiles often take too many responsibilities on their shoulders. They’re always stressed that they might do something wrong or their performance in their personal, academic, or professional life might fall…. And then everyone will find faults with them.

So, they try to do more than anyone should. They might get seriously exhausted from overwork.

For this reason, type Ds finish up their sick leaves faster than any other personality style. They burn out physically and mentally. They lose the drive to work hard and just skip work.

So, tell your type D employee, student, or loved one, that it’s alright to take a break. They deserve it for working so hard. They don’t need to work endlessly to prove themselves. And even if their performance levels drop a bit, they can always try harder next time.

7. Don’t go too hard with criticisms

Type D people feel anxious about criticism and negative feedback. Many assume that they’re too soft and can’t take blows… but that’s not the reality. Rather, it causes them psychological distress.

So, be a bit compassionate… even if it’s a serious issue. Tell them a few things you appreciate them for and then sneak in with the main issue.

You might say it’s only possible in personal and social life. You might think it’s inappropriate for teachers or supervisors to give such special treatment to a child due to their personality traits.

Well, I don’t see any harm in it. You’re all humans despite the field of life. So, treat them gently and they’ll give you better results.

A type D employee or student will feel much more inspired to work on their shortcomings this way. A rude comment will only lead to ruminating over unnecessary issues.

8. Slowly bring them to the limelight

In group situations, type D people work hard but try to stay in the background. Suppose, a project is given to a team, type Ds choose the laborious tasks but they never take the lead.

They won’t represent the team they worked so hard for. They don’t even partake in important decision-making as they feel anxious about disagreements and conflicts.

Instead, they try to get along with everyone whether they like them or not. So, if you notice a type D person doing the same, urge them to speak out.

If you have authority over others (like a teacher, supervisor, or team lead), ask the type D person for their opinions and ask them questions if you have any regarding the task.

If you’re both team members, then seek them to help out everyone. Don’t let them focus just on their own responsibility. If others need help, seek the type D individual for it. Show everyone the D-type fellow’s worth. Don’t let them be background characters.

9. Don’t let their negativity frustrate you

A type D person’s endless negativity can sometimes get on others’ nerves. Especially, if you spend a chunk of your time with them. For instance, if you’re a coworker on the same team, desk mates, friends, have the same classes, lovers, or family and live together.

At some point, you might feel that their pessimism rubbed off on you. You might feel exhausted from supporting them. During these situations, it’s pretty normal to get frustrated and blame them for your bad mood.

However, blaming doesn’t make things right. You don’t feel better… instead, you feel worse because you hurt them. And then you face an awkward phase while they push you away.

So, how to prevent such situations?

Have your daily dose of positivity. Practice positive self-talk, listen to motivational speakers, and enjoy your life.

Often the close ones of type D individuals devote too much of their energy to them and forget about themselves. So, don’t forget to take time for yourself.

10. Remind them to live in the moment

Suppose a type D person scored well in their school graduation exams. Instead of feeling proud of themselves, they worry about the next thing… like whether they can crack the entrance exams or if they can get a chance to enter their dream college. They ignore these small worthy wins and later dwell on some superficial flaw.

So, whenever you see a type D person being this way, tell them to realize the moment. Take them out to celebrate together.

No need to treat them at a fine dining restaurant, just go grab their favorite ice cream or fast food.

Teach them to cherish the little moments so they can look back and remember the good times and feel inspired. They’ll get motivated by thinking if they can succeed once, they can do it again.

11. Focus on healthy habits

Type D people might also lead an undisciplined life due to their anxiety and shut-in nature. Depressed people don’t feel motivated to take care of themselves. So, if you’re a loved one, this is your responsibility.

Encourage them to have a balanced diet. Help them avoid fast food. If you can, teach them a few easy, quick, and nutritious dishes to cook for themselves.

Start taking them out on jogging. Don’t let them stay in their room the entire day. Take them out on dates. Work on their social inhibition by introducing them to new people slowly.

Make sure they have a healthy sleep cycle. Keep away screens an hour before going to bed. You can even install sleep sound machines or ASMR to help them focus on sleeping.

12. Help them set goals

Remember to avoid listing long-term goals for D-types. There’s a high chance of failing in them and failures can trigger negative thoughts like self-doubt, comparison, and negative self-talk in type D personalities.

So, break them down into short-term goals. Help them achieve their goals and when they succeed, don’t forget to celebrate.

Whether you know a type D person in your personal or professional life, show them that they have everything it takes to succeed. They only need a different approach to avoid getting overwhelmed or anxious… and they’re good to go!

13. Keep checking-in with your type D loved one

Due to their personality traits, type D folks almost always avoid socializing and then feel isolated and neglected.

Yeah… that’s what they wanted, so why do they feel like that? Well, that was to flee an uncomfortable situation. They don’t want to be isolated or deserted. They also crave lots of love and attention… but they’d never say that out loud worrying others might find them too needy or too burdensome.

So, often call your type D friends or family to check on them. If you’re too busy during the weekend and can’t do it every day, have a long conversation on the weekend or schedule an outing with them.

If you stay in different time zones, fix a time on the weekends for a video call. Show them that they’re cared for and cherished.

14. Take them on a kindness trip

When D-types show kindness to others, they feel good about themselves. They feel that they did something good for the world. They see the world as a mean space, so making another living being’s day helps them feel better.

Moreover, they are always stressed but some feel-good hormones can help as stress-busters.

So, if you’re a friend, family member, or lover of a type D person, take them out to visit the pet shelter. Have fun cuddling with the furry buddies and help them release some oxytocin in their bloodstream.

You can also take them to zoos where they allow you to play with animals. If you or your other acquaintance have a pet, go play with them.

But if you know the type D person in your professional life, seek higher authorities for a day for social work in your organization. Suggest them to arrange for volunteering in a soup kitchen or orphanage on the weekend.

15. Remind them about health checkups

Type Ds often forget about their health or neglect it because they’re too depressed and can’t bother to step out of their room or because they don’t want to disturb others.

However, they’re extremely prone to anxiety and depression disorders, heart attacks, coronary heart diseases, high blood pressure, diabetes, and osteoporosis.

Accompany them to their medical appointment if you’re a loved one and have time. Otherwise, remind them to not miss their appointments.

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

While dealing with a type D person, if you feel tired, it’s okay to take a break from your efforts. Don’t think you’re a bad person for wanting some time away from them.

Moreover, be patient with the process. You can’t change them or help them recover from their issues overnight. Make sure you don’t trigger any negativity in their or your life.

Your fellow D-type needs patience and they’ll be more than glad and grateful for your thoughtful nature. So, be kind and share the love!

Article Sources


1. https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-to-know-about-type-d-personality
2. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-type-d-personality-4175368
3. https://www.healthline.com/health/type-d-personality