Now Reading
Type D Personality in Relationships – 20 Things to Know

Type D Personality in Relationships – 20 Things to Know

Updated on Nov 18, 2022 | Published on Oct 04, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

Type D Personality in Relationships – 20 Things to Know

Did you pop in to know about the scenario of type D personality in relationships? You took a personality test with your buddies and now wondering how your D-type buddy treats people in their family, love life, or social life?

Great! Because this think-piece is all about that. You’ll know how they think about their loved ones, how they express their feelings, and how they treat others.

So, don’t waste a wink and head in…

Type D Personality in Relationships

D-types aka the distressed souls often ditch social events and even if they do, stay aloof and don’t even share much about themselves. They can’t be as open about their lives as others. They often hide their true feelings. So, you might be troubled if you wanna get close to them.

But, you can get some help if you study more about their usual actions in their relationships. So, let’s explore the details…

1. They’re great motivators

People with type D personality traits have too many negative emotions suppressed inside them for their own good. They think pessimistically about themselves. However, they always wish the best for others and can’t bear to watch others experiencing the same struggles.

So, whenever you fall and feel this is the end… they’ll show you that it’s not. They’ll remind you that a bright future awaits you, help you stand back up, and fight till you drop.

They won’t leave your side until you’re genuinely motivated. It’s all because they don’t want another soul to get consumed by the darkness from within.

So ironic, right?

2. They’ll be your mediator any day

Type D people feel anxious about conflicts. When their loved ones fight, they fear something will go wrong… like their family splitting, parents divorcing, or friends breaking up.

The reason behind this fear varies from person to person… but they can’t help but fear something might go wrong. And who wants their loved ones and close ones to split?

Nobody does… but D-types’ negative thoughts are much more intense than others, so their desire to keep everyone united is far more intense.

So, even if you don’t seek them to resolve your conflicts, they’ll volunteer anyway and help you remember why you guys cherish each other.

3. They can be good listeners

D-types aren’t too big on talking. They’re always worried about saying something wrong and the fear of rejection and being judged gets triggered. So, they grow a habit of keeping silent unless they must absolutely talk. This helps them become a good listener.

So, if you need someone to ramble about your day or a shoulder to lean on, a type D person is your best bet. They won’t advise you to do anything or judge your story, and silently let you vent while they pat your back or share a drink with you.

4. They won’t ever bully anyone

Type D individuals have a golden heart and they’re extremely compassionate and kind towards everyone. They know that life is hard for everyone. They know that at every stage of life, setbacks and sorrows await. So, they can’t bear it if anyone gets bullied.

They might oppose bullying openly or not hang out with people that might bully or disrespect others… This depends on how bold they might be. Instead, they might leave their “friends” that bully them to support the bullied. They have good morals and ethics.

5. They’re reliable

D-types always stay true to responsibilities. Once you ask them to do something, they’ll make sure they can get it done perfectly. They don’t want to let down others or make them regret trusting them.

Whether you seek support during your worst days or you need them to help you with some chores, it’ll be there for you without thinking. They prioritize their relationships… just as much as they expect to be prioritized by others.

They also worry about others’ opinions regarding them… and since they want to be praised and acknowledged, they give their soul to everything they do for others.

6. They won’t judge you for anything

Suppose, you’re a lover, child, or sibling of a type D person and you failed in some area of your life. You might fear being judged or even worse being disciplined and lectured for your failure.

However, a type D is patient with everyone. They know everyone can’t perform the same. Even if it was a rash decision and they are truly disappointed, they won’t let the emotions show.

They know how a person in that situation feels while being judged and rejected… so, they don’t want others to feel the same. They don’t want to hurt anybody else by expressing their thoughts either.

So, you won’t feel judged no matter what you do. Instead, they’ll try to patiently understand your point of view and sympathize with you.

7. They feel irritated if their routine gets disrupted

Type Ds are quite particular in their routine and they have almost everything pre-planned. If you live under the same roof with them, you might even find a journal with all their tasks in a to-do list or the same listed in their notepad.

So, why do they follow lists?

Well, they feel less anxious about forgetting or delaying a task. This only helps them do everything at the right time and manage their time well.

However, if you disrupt their schedule with random tasks, they won’t like it. After all, they’ll need to arrange the remaining tasks. So, if their loved ones plan a surprise vacation… Well, oops, they might be a bit anxious!

8. Their surprises and plans might seem monotonous

Type D folks feel more comfortable with repetitive tasks as it doesn’t demand anything unknown. They know all the steps required and are used to those. They don’t feel anxious about forgetting something or doing anything the wrong way.

So, when they take their partner on a vacation or plan birthdays, or anniversaries, or try to surprise others, it might not truly be a surprise. They might execute the same or similar plans every time.

This might be a bit disappointing for the other person. However, they mustn’t take it to heart because the thought matters more. Appreciate their efforts to help them feel cherished.

9. They know just when someone is low

Though D-types aren’t good at talking, they have great observation skills. While they stay quiet, they notice other people and try to understand everyone’s moods, motives, and thoughts.

They focus on a person’s body language, facial expressions, behaviors, and other detailed cues. So, at a party, if you feel uncomfortable but put up a brave front, a type D will definitely notice you.

Even if nobody gets the hint, they can almost see through your façade. They’ll have your back even when nobody does and help you deal with your situation. They might not approach you if they hardly know you, but they’ll do their best from a distance.

So, if you receive such help from a type D person, don’t forget to thank them. Let them know that their kind gesture was gladly accepted… otherwise, they might overthink and get discouraged.

10. Everyone can approach them

Type Ds have a calm and soothing demeanor. They don’t keep a harsh exterior or personality. People feel extremely comfortable around them. Their mild nature makes everyone feel at ease which makes more people approach them and not fear them unnecessarily.

For instance, in a group of friends, if someone feels sick, they’ll comfortably seek a D-type instead of anyone else. Everyone gets a vibe of a helpful and compassionate person from them.

People feel accepted and understood around a D-type, so they can vent out to them better. They also give a feeling that they won’t snitch on anyone or let gossip out mistakenly because they hardly talk to too many people. They give away a warm and secure feeling to everyone else.

11. They might become a pushover

Type D individuals can’t communicate effectively when they don’t want something or feel uncomfortable with anything. They’re bad at convincing others of their feelings because, in the back of their mind, they’re always worried about others’ opinions.

So, even if they gather all the courage and refuse something, it’s never as powerful. They can’t stand up for themselves ever. Especially, if someone persistently asks them something, they feel helpless. They worry about being rejected and abandoned by them and give in.

Others walk all over them because of this trait. So, if you ever see a type D in this situation, help them stand up for themselves and show it how it’s done.

12. They often get taken advantage of

As mentioned before, Type Ds are extremely kind and caring. They also want to be accepted and acknowledged for their good traits. They have such low confidence that they always seek validation from others.

Due to all these factors, when others seek help from them, they just can’t refuse. Just for the sake of being in the positive light and to avoid disappointing others, they don’t mind helping others… even if it’s troublesome for them.

They frequently get used by others’ selfish motives and don’t find out unless it’s way later. They only want to spread some love and warmth in this world, yet they get played by so many. They can’t trust people easily for a reason!

13. They might struggle to break free from toxic bonds

D-type folks actively avoid confrontation as it shoots up their anxiety. Even if they hold different opinions about something, they suppress it. They worry whether others will find them repulsive or weird for it. They don’t want to put others off and agree with whatever others want.

Even if others do something seriously wrong, they make excuses for them. They think that they didn’t mean it or they perceived it in a wrong way and calm themselves. By any means, they avoid any confrontation or conflict.

With this attitude, they’re more likely to keep toxic people in their life. They might take too long to snap back to reality.

14. They get hurt even without trying

D-types are extremely sensitive to people. They get hurt easily due to their ruminating habits. Suppose, you have a D-type sibling and they offer to drop you at your school or work and you refuse to say you’re fine… they’ll absolutely get the wrong idea.

You might think “I only wanted to make them rest at home”… while they’ll assume that you’re ashamed of going anywhere with them or you don’t want to introduce them to others.

Your next thought is “that’s pretty messed up”… welp, don’t forget that type D stands for distressed! You won’t do anything intentionally, but they’ll feel bad… and you won’t even know it from them… they’ll just keep everything bottled up.

15. You can tell when they lie

It’s already mentioned that D-types are bad at convincing others. So, even if your type D friend or family member doesn’t tell you they’re hurt, you’ll know it if you try to ask them a few questions.

Sure they’ll avoid getting you worried… but under pressure, they can’t convincingly deliver the truth, so forget about a lie. They’ll eventually own up to the truth if you persistently ask them something.

With that said, never include type Ds in surprise planning or if you plan to prank anybody. Their expressions and poor convincing skills will give them away!

16. They struggle to grow their circle and in dating

Type Ds are socially inhibited, i.e., they aren’t comfortable with social interactions due to their fear of rejection and judgment.

They can’t strike up a conversation with new people and shy away from social situations. In fact, during socializing, they feel the same anxiety as when they manage stressful situations.

They feel everyone is far better than them, feel they might not be accepted, and worry about being looked down on. They also avoid introducing themselves to others.

So, a type D struggles with making friends. They might even have trouble in their dating life. They’re prone to loneliness and a sense of isolation for this.

17. Their first impression might seem rude

Like I mentioned just now, people with type D personality types aren’t great at socializing. So, if you’re a stranger and try to hold a convo with a type D person, you might face several situations… and none of them will be pleasant.

They might ignore you and act like they didn’t hear or see you. They might constantly evade your questions about their life as they feel inferior to you. They might talk but feel uncomfortable and act awkward. Or, they might even leave you hanging in between your conversation because they got an urgent call.

Even if you didn’t mean to harm them, you might feel a pang of hurt as if you harassed them.

18. Their pessimism might push away others

Type Ds never talk pessimistically when it’s about others’ lives. They encourage others to do better. However, when it’s about themselves, they can’t notice the bigger picture. They’re always worried sick that something bad will happen.

If you’re close to them, you’ll naturally want to make them feel better. You’ll try hard and remind them of their good parts repeatedly… and it’ll be the same for their other loved ones.

However, at some point, you might get exhausted giving these pep talks. So, the loved ones of type D might soon get tired of how they can’t convince or reassure them.

19. Their hearts cry for the needy

D-types have a kind soul as they feel an urge to spread happiness. They like to help the poor beings in the world… whether it’s a plant, an animal, or a human being. They feel a sense of responsibility towards themselves and want to help out others in every possible way.

They make a huge impact on the world and motivate others to do the same. They feel that the world is too cruel and ignore the needy. This triggers their pessimism to some extent.

So, if you see a D-type close one going to a soup kitchen, pet shelter, or taking care of roadside plants, join them and show them the world isn’t that bad.

20. They might never want to worry you about their ailment

Though medical reviewers haven’t yet proven this, D-types are vulnerable to many health problems due to their stress, pessimism, and emotion suppression.

Among mental health concerns, anxiety and depression top the list. Whereas physical health issues, coronary heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure, diabetes, and osteoporosis.

However, they never want to worry others about their health troubles. They might often overlook their symptoms and get bedridden often. Even if told to be more expressive, they just can’t bear to.

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

D-types have a heart of gold but they’re too shy and afraid to express themselves. They often get misunderstood for their fears. However, if given a chance, they show how much they care for others.

So, give them the basic time to build trust. Show them that you care, learn to deal with them, and that might do the job. Remember, you can give up on them if you want… but is that worth it? Will you feel good about it?

I don’t think so… after all, why else would you be here learning about them. So, give it your best to communicate openly with them, and watch them open their hearts.

Article Sources


1. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-type-d-personality-4175368
2. https://www.healthline.com/health/type-d-personality
3. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality/what-is-a-type-d-personality-and-do-i-have-it/