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What to Do If You’re a Beta Female? Improve Your Life with these Small Steps!

What to Do If You’re a Beta Female? Improve Your Life with these Small Steps!

Updated on Jan 10, 2023 | Published on Jan 10, 2023

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

What to Do If You’re a Beta Female Improve Your Life with these Small Steps!

Do you want to know what to do if you’re a beta female? Someone told you that you’re a beta female and you feel self-conscious? Did they say that your personality is not acceptable?

Oh gosh… I’m so sorry you faced this! Beta female personality is one of the best in the hierarchy. So, girl, there’s nothing to worry about.

However, there’s still room for improvement. And this think-piece will help you become the best version of yourself.

So, c’mon, let’s get down to work here!

What to Do If You’re a Beta Female?

As a beta female, you don’t have a lot of flaws. Rather, you’re a pretty strong woman with clear goals and dedication at work and lots of love and care for loved ones.

However, you face some major troubles due to your introversion, sensitivity, and so on. So, let’s deal with those here!

1. Socialize once in a while even if there’s no reason

Due to your beta female personality, you are introverted. You like to spend time on your own or with your close ones.

You don’t see any value in connecting with new people. Probably, you don’t even like small talk with strangers. Instead, you’d love to spend time reading books or learning new things.

Now, I won’t ask you to completely change or become extroverted. I also understand that you have a good reason to be this way. In fact, you are pretty flexible and join mandatory social events.

However, you only do the bare minimum to build your career and strengthen existing relationships. This means you attend any event only if it involves your loved ones and helps you prosper at work.

However, this lowers your chance of finding a partner. You probably don’t want to actively seek a partner and want to let things happen naturally. But, if you don’t push for it, it’ll only delay further.

Not to be rude, but your alpha female bestie always steals the show. People hardly notice your presence which only makes your love life hard to flourish. Prospective partners don’t even know about your presence unless they are close to her.

So, once in a while, attend an event that you want to reject. Of course, you can be as picky about it as you want. But at least, try a bit more!

2. Look at the brighter side when you get attention

Due to the personality traits of a beta female, you feel uncomfortable whenever you get attention… be it in private, social, or professional life. To avoid the limelight, you always avoid the public appearance and reject public recognition.

If you strictly mention this to everyone and people follow your wishes, that’s pretty great for you. However, not everyone knows about your preferences.

Some people might call you out to congratulate you because they aren’t aware. Or, they ask you to host or plan an event because enough capable people aren’t around.

During these moments, you feel extremely uncomfortable and focus only on unwanted attention.

Especially, since you don’t want anyone’s validation, this is unnecessary for you.

But think about it from a different perspective: People don’t know about you, your accomplishments, your capabilities, and even your presence.

They gossip about you and drag your confidence down. In your professional life, they don’t know enough about you and never choose you for major tasks. All the good projects are given to the alpha males and females.

So, when people know about you, you’ll eventually gain a lot from it.

No, you don’t have to get attention all the time. But whenever you get it, be grateful because new opportunities will also come with it.

3. Reciprocate your romantic partner’s moves sometimes

It’s known that the beta female doesn’t mind waiting for her prospective partner’s first move. So, in romantic relationships, you like the traditional approach and never seek love by yourself.

You want your partner to chase you, initiate conversations, ask for your number, and ask you out on dates. That’s quite lovely and you’re free to have expectations. But have you ever thought of the other side of the situation?

Your crush might not even notice you because you make no moves. Even if they notice you, if you play too hard to get, it might create an opposite impact. They might misinterpret your lack of enthusiasm as disinterest.  Or, they might give up on you way too fast. Meanwhile, someone else might want to enter their heart.

There are a lot of poor possibilities in love. So, your lack of initiation and response only increases those chances.

You might say that you don’t care about someone that can’t be persistent. However, your prospective partner also has feelings. If you don’t show signs of excitement, they’re bound to take it the wrong way.

So, try to initiate romantic actions once in a while. Whenever you receive a romantic surprise or your prospective partner makes a move, give positive reactions.  Reciprocate some actions to make them understand that you are interested.

4. If you ever have confidence issues, confide in trustworthy ones

Most women with beta female personality types are confident. They don’t care about others’ opinions and are happy to know what they truly are. They don’t need a confidence boost from others. If you’re someone similar, skip to the next tip.

However, not all beta women are the same. Some might struggle with their confidence because people always assume the worst about them. They feel the worst when all the appreciation and opportunities are passed to the alphas. They hate how nobody notices their value.

So, if you’re this kind of beta woman, we gotta talk!

Listen, whenever anything hurts your confidence, don’t suppress it. If you hide your wounds, they won’t get better sooner.

I understand you don’t want to draw attention… but forget your inhibitions when you feel vulnerable.

You always stand by your loved ones when they are in a pinch. They’d be more than happy to help you out in the most minor ways. So, girl, reach out to them!

Contact a trustworthy person on a call or meet them. Don’t be discouraged if they don’t have time. Schedule a meeting when they are available or ask another loved one.

Tell them that you want to vent your feelings and they only need to listen. Let your friend cheer you up with whatever you like. Don’t turn down their kindness because you’ll hurt them. Just let them figure things out!

5. Know when to give the passive approach a break

The beta female loves to follow the gentle approach. She doesn’t want to be too rude to anyone while correcting their mistakes. Since she is pretty emotional, she understands how aggression can affect others.

You know what? I totally love that because I wish more people were gentle with me back then. At least, I wanted to learn a lot but people’s aggression only made me step back.

So, whenever someone needs your opinion about anything, you try to be as understanding and kind as you can. You choose your words wisely to help the other person calmly soak in information.

Even if they make the worst mistakes, you never lose your calm… which is pretty commendable!

However, learn to understand a person’s intention and act accordingly.

Some people truly need help and want to learn things from you. But some commit stupid actions just to get on your nerves. Try to understand which person is which type.

It’s best to not pay attention to them. Otherwise, your frustration gives them a twisted satisfaction. But understand that you can’t invest your time in them until all eternity.

If someone makes crucial mistakes in an important task intentionally, discipline them. Whether they are your loved ones, coworkers, or students… don’t let them test your patience!

6. Control your impulsive shopping

The beta female personality blesses you with a creative and artistic fashion sense. Moreover, you feel wonderful when you wear new outfits, jewelry, and accessories. You know you look cute and it gives you a ton of confidence boost.

Since shopping heals your broken heart, you sometimes go overboard. You might often exhaust your funds or max out your credit cards. Especially if it’s online shopping, you lose track of your account balance pretty soon.

If people depend on you financially or you have bills to pay, this is the worst you can do to yourself. You might even get in a fight with loved ones over it.

And even if you don’t spend all your money, you might have too many clothes in your wardrobe. If you share your wardrobe with your partner or a sibling, this will tick them off.

Moreover, the sea of packages of your deliveries obviously put others off.

So, here are a few things to deal with the trouble:

  • If you are a working adult, set a budget for your monthly shopping spree. If you don’t have a job and mainly use your parent’s card to shop, don’t! Use it for important necessities only. Use your creativity to mix and match old clothes with something new. Get a job if you want to go shopping.
  • In online shopping, add everything to your cart. If it exceeds your budget, choose the things that are most important or you need right away. In offline shopping, before checking out, calculate everything beforehand.
  • If you share a wardrobe or dressing space with someone, absolutely don’t buy too many things. If you have space for another wardrobe, invest in that first.
  • If you get deliveries, make sure you dispose of the packaging for a clean space.
  • If you still can’t control yourself, seek someone’s help to keep you in check.

7. Take care of your emotional reactions

You’re pretty sensitive to criticism, rejection, and loud voices. You might burst out in tears instantly. Or, you might stay up for nights wondering how you inconvenienced others.

In the end, it exhausts you physically and mentally. You get distracted from more important work. You also put the other person in an awkward situation. They don’t even know how to express themselves to you.

On the other hand, if the person is toxic, they’ll manipulate you emotionally.

It’s high time you change how you deal with such situations. If loud yells make you tear up, you can’t change that. However, try your best to avoid an emotional breakdown. If necessary, take care of yourself in the restroom. Touch up to cover any tear stains and return.

If the worries don’t let you sleep, journal your feelings to get them off your chest or vent to someone. If this doesn’t work, stretch your body slightly, meditate, and mindfully relax your body.

If you feel distracted and can’t focus on work, take a break. Since you aren’t at your best, you aren’t productive either. So, focus on dealing with your emotions for a few days and return once you’re done!

8. When you help others, be wary of others’ intentions

You help everyone equally without any inhibition. You support your loved ones, coworkers, and even strangers. A soul like you is hard to come by in this world. The needy value your presence the most in this world.

However, you must be more aware of your surroundings while supporting others.

I don’t mean to demotivate you because you make the world a better place. But, not everyone has good intentions yet you’re always there for everyone.

Suppose a coworker often seeks your help and you gladly comply. Make sure they don’t claim your efforts as their own. Don’t do a massive chunk of their task unless it’s a joint project and there’s proof of your task.

On the other hand, when you help out strangers, sound them out better. Get a small gist of what’s their issue and interrogate them slightly before any help. Especially, don’t take them back home for shelter, and prioritize your safety. Instead, find a real shelter for the needy.

If the stranger you helped ever wants to repay your kindness, be wary! They might be innocent… but you never know what they are up to. So, kindly turn down the invitation.

9. Sometimes, raise your voice against gossip mongrels

Being a “beta” female, you deal with a lot of gossip about your personality. Since you come second in the socio-sexual hierarchy, people often compare you with the alpha females.

They don’t know much about you yet they draw conclusions about you. They assume you come second because you’re majorly flawed. They never consider the fact that you’re also at the top and have similar qualities.

Some even believe that the beta personality is the complete opposite of alpha and look down on you.

Girl, you and I are aware of the truth but who wants to explain that, right?

You obviously can’t clarify the wrong idea… that’s not humanly possible!

However, don’t silently stand people’s stupidity either. I know you are always kind to others and never want to hurt others. So, it’s high time you treated yourself as well.

If possible, leave the room when someone talks behind your back. If this person seeks you for favors, turn them down. You heard me right, there’s no need for kindness as they know better than you.

If it’s someone in your friend circle, cut ties with them. Don’t let toxicity stay in your inner circle.

If this is an elder or an authoritative person, you have no option to ignore or defy them. But make sure you don’t go out of your way for them.

Respect yourself and only then can people understand you!

10. Boost your health with your confidence

You depend on shopping to uplift your mood and regain confidence. However, there’s a better way to deal with a poor mood.

Daily exercise, adequate sleep, and a balanced diet do more than just improve your health.  So, create a routine today, ring up the closest gym, and get on with it.

It’s also unknown how beta women take care of their physical and mental health.  So, this is your cue to step up your game!

A proper routine will balance your hormonal fluctuations. It’ll also boost the production of the feel-good hormone in your body. You’ll be more optimistic and confident despite others’ negative thoughts and opinions.

Being ignored won’t hurt you as much and you’ll see the brighter aspect of every situation. You’ll know that you are far better than anyone else.

Shopping only gives you instant gratification. You buy the item and feel excited to flaunt it. But eventually, the object gets old, wears out, and so does your confidence.

However, a healthy routine and its benefits will stay with you till the end of time.

Don’t forget to take care of your mental health too. Journal when you have a lot on your mind. If you feel depressed or demotivated to work, remember to seek a mental health expert!

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

Though the steps aren’t many, the quest to become a flawless beta woman isn’t easy. The flaws are deeply ingrained, so you’ll need quite some time to grow out of them.

However, fret not because it’s more or less the same for all beta women. Take time, be kind to yourself, practice consistently, and you’ll be stronger than ever!

Article Sources


1. https://thetrulycharming.com/beta-female/
2. https://www.momjunction.com/articles/characteristics-of-beta-female_00761451/
3. https://subconsciousservant.com/the-beta-female/
4. https://theleaderboy.com/beta-female-personality-type-explained/