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What To do if You’re a Type D Personality? 20 Tips

What To do if You’re a Type D Personality? 20 Tips

Updated on Nov 18, 2022 | Published on Oct 03, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

What To do if You’re a Type D Personality? 20 Tips

So, after taking a personality test you’re wondering what to do if you’re a type D personality? Anxious if your personality might quite literally be the death of you?

I know how you’re feeling right now. While you’re so stressed about everything about your life right now… and even about the things that didn’t happen yet… you must deal with your own personality traits!

Ahh… if you feel that way, understand it’s mainly because of your distressed personality… and you did the right job at seeking help!

Another good news is that you’ll get all the possible help in this think-piece.

C’mon, let’s get to work!

What to do if you’re a type D personality?

After Johan Denollet’s years of studies, he concluded a few things about the type D personality traits… and from that, it’s known that it’s extremely harmful to a person’s physical and emotional health.

And do you know that God helps those, those who help themselves? So, if you’re a type D, it’s better to start helping yourself instead of waiting for the right time.

So, to protect yourself from the inside out, follow these…

1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses

Since your thoughts focus on everything negative, you think that there’s nothing good about you. Moreover, most online sources describe only type D individuals’ weaknesses.

This might make you feel even worse about yourself. So, it’s even more important to find your strengths. Stop saying you don’t have them because you do!

Go to our list of assorted type D strengths and find out which ones work for you. However, the list only contains the most common strengths… and you’re a unique person, so all of your strengths might not be listed there.

So, try your best to keep the negativity at bay and find out both your strengths and weaknesses. Also, don’t assume that you have all the weaknesses. Be truthful to yourself and stop assuming the worst while listing things.

Once you identify the strengths and weaknesses, figure out ways to enhance the positives and dim the negatives.

2. Ask someone else’s opinion

If your situation is serious and you feel extremely hopeless all the time… and can’t find anything good about yourself, reach out to a trustworthy friend. Ask them to help you find your strengths and weaknesses.

But if you already have a list, seek them to know their thoughts like whether they think the listed positives and negatives are present in you or if they have any more good or bad traits in you.

Once the listing is done, ask them for suggestions to deal with the issue at hand. How would they want you to work on the negatives, highlight the positives, or you can use any weakness to your advantage?

A slight difference in perspective will bring you many other solutions. Moreover, since your trusted friend knows you better than me, you’ll get custom ideas that will work better for you.

3. Add a dollar for every positive thought

Challenge yourself to stay positive for a day to stay positive. For every hour you don’t think about the negatives, add a dollar to your jar.

This will be a hard one, so motivate yourself with a prize. Use the money to buy yourself fancy dinners, clothes, or jewelry you want for a long time.

However, your first attempt might fail if you don’t help yourself. On the previous night, add sticky notes with positive phrases in different places. Put one each on your bedside, washroom, kitchen, and any other space you use regularly like the balcony and living room.

Next, set an hourly reminder with different positive phrases… you can even put more at smaller time gaps.

Prevent negative emotions from invading your mind from morning till night.

4. Understand the truth

This is a lesser-known fact but nobody completely belongs to one personality type. There are other traits too that match with other personality types.

Moreover, medical reviewers never said that a person of a particular personality can’t change into another. So, if you try, you can grasp better traits from any other personality.

Due to type D personality traits, you easily get stressed and anxious. But you can adopt different stress management skills from other personalities. So, keep an open mind… remember that you can change.

5. Try to spend more time outside

People with distressed personalities usually shut themselves down. This spikes emotional distress and depression even more than normal. When you don’t have anything interesting to do, you overthink and confine your emotions further.

So, whatever happens, don’t stay at home 24/7. Even if you work from home and get the daily needs delivered online, that’s no reason to stay in.

No, you don’t need to go to nightclubs… rather, regularly go for a walk at any time of the day. This will divert your mind from the crippling thoughts.

6. Grow your circle

Whenever you feel low, you reach out to your inner circle… but they can’t always stay by your side. Especially, if you have a handful of friends, you can’t have many people around you during tough times.

So, try to get more friends. No, it’s not about befriending anyone you have around you. Rather, choose friends based on common interests and perspectives.

Take your time to deepen the bonds and you’ll always have someone beside you during hard times. This will improve the quality of your life.

7. Use sick days mindfully

When the psychological distress shoots high, you might want to skip work or school often. However, think carefully. What will you do at home instead of going to work or school?

You’ll probably shut yourself in and imagine the worst again. If you feel seriously unwell and can’t deal with people, don’t stay in.

If you take a sick leave, then see a doctor. Figure out if you’re truly unwell physically or mentally. If you don’t feel particularly sick but also don’t want to go to work, go watch a movie or to the amusement park. Just, use the day wisely.

8. Fight your fears and reward yourself

Due to your personality traits, you’re also not good with social interactions. So, try to fight the fear by building relationships slowly. You’re afraid of being judged and rejected… you can’t trust anyone easily.

Challenge yourself to say “Hi” to someone new and set a reward for yourself if you can also hold a conversation with them.

Day 1-3: Strike a conversation with people on your social media. You’ll feel comfier if the other person isn’t staring at your face.

Day 4: Walk up to an approachable stranger in the nearby park or club with any common interest and try talking. It’ll be awkward but don’t run away.

From day 5 onwards, alternatively, talk with new people online and in real life.

9. Exercise and practice mindfulness

Invest time in rigorous exercise.  Talk to your trainer about your fitness goals and create a routine. Physical exercise also boosts positive emotions with dopamine and oxytocin boost. Breaking a sweat can also help you relieve depression and anxiety.

On the other hand, if you’re not a fan of vigorous exercise, don’t completely skip it. Instead, dedicate half of the time to exercise and practice mindfulness during the rest.

For instance, devote time to praying, meditation, and yoga. These will help you feel hopeful, calm, and peaceful. You can also regulate your emotions while you connect with your soul.

10. Learn to communicate

Most people with a D-type personality lack interpersonal skills. You feel anxious about communicating your thoughts to others. You worry about hurting others or that others will find your weaknesses through your words.

For this, learn to diminish the risk of these scary possibilities during conversations. For instance, learn how to initiate conversations but avoid any topic that might direct you to your weaknesses.

Suppose, you’re dissatisfied with your professional life and don’t want the other person to ask you about that. Don’t ask them about their work and discuss something more fun to avoid serious topics.

11. Enroll in a course

D-types feel that they have lots of shortcomings. So, identify the exact shortcomings and whether they hurt your academic or professional life. If they do, then seek ways to work on them. 

If you’re a student and you’re bad in one subject, get tuition for those. Fix your foundation and you’ll perform better. If it’s related to your profession, enroll in an online course to build the required skills.

If you’re a homemaker and feel ashamed because you can’t do particular chores or deal with situations, check YouTube to learn the skills. Starting from cooking exotic dishes to dealing with neighbors and service people, you can learn it all.

12. Indulge in self-love

Due to your personality type, you face high levels of stress and are prone to self-loathing. If this continues, it’ll be extremely hard to deal with your situation. So, pamper yourself with the activities you like and those that make you feel loved.

Book yourself a spa appointment, treat yourself right with a nutritious and yummy diet, read books that make you feel calm, try out a skincare routine, and get manicures and pedicures.

You can also practice self-love by painting, dancing, singing, or going on a shopping spree. Find out what your heart desires the most and allow yourself to relax.

Try out something adventurous for a change and think about how you feel about it.

13. Reach out to a community

You’re not the only one that struggles with this personality type. There are many others and you can connect to them with a tap on your smartphone. Seek online communities based on Type D personality traits and behavior patterns.

Learn how they deal with their issues and fulfill their needs for emotional closeness. Find out about others’ stories, tell them yours, and accept the love they send your way.

You might also find people that worked through their traits and are living a healthier life. They might even help you with your coping mechanisms.

14. Seek your loved ones’ support

Your friends and family might have no idea about how much you struggle with your personality type. They might misunderstand your behavior and actions and stray away from you. To ensure that nothing like that happens, share your situation with them.

Depending on how close you’re to others, this might be a scary step. Moreover, telling everyone one by one and sharing the news is challenging… gathering everyone at once and explaining is overwhelming.

So, create a chat group of your trusted loved ones. Record a video or audio explaining your situation or compose a message about it. Add a request to support you throughout your journey.

You can even share links about my other pieces on type D personality to help them understand better.

15. Seek a mental health expert

Check for your health status ASAP and get medical advice. Type Ds are at a greater risk of heart failure, coronary heart disease, diabetes, and osteoporosis due to their poor mental health.

Before your physical health is at stake, seek psychotherapy. You’ll learn good coping skills to deal with stress and connect with others. If needed, they might even prescribe you medicines. If needed, take a trusted person along with you.

16. Avoid stress-causing people and set boundaries

You can’t completely eliminate stress from your life. So, understand what situations stress you the most. Most of the time, your stress is born out of your negative thoughts.

But sometimes, it’s because of pushy and mean people around you. So, avoid such people at all costs. If someone forces you to do anything you dislike or don’t approve of, walk away.

If someone hurts you but you avoid confronting them because of your fears, try to express your issues gently. If they overreact, that’s the moment to walk away. Don’t let people take advantage of your fears.

17. Boost your self-esteem

You also suffer from confidence issues, so beat every part of it appropriately. Here are some useful ways:

  • Distract yourself whenever negative self-talk begins. Focus on the good things about yourself.
  • Stop comparing yourself with others… remember that you’re unique and you truly don’t know others’ struggles.
  •  Keep being kind and compassionate to everyone, it’ll help you feel better about yourself.
  • Identify the supportive people in your vicinity and spend more time with them.
  • Practice 10 minutes of positive self-talk every day after waking up and before going to bed.
  • When something goes wrong, accept it. Remember that not everything is in your control.
  • If you feel a certain way, write it down in a journal. Reframe it in different ways and find out the perfect way you want to express your emotions.
  •  Promise to do your best and hope for a better day.
  • Observe nature and be inspired. Look at how the waves of tides break rocks over time and small saplings grow tall through harsh situations.
  • Try to maintain eye contact during conversations and refuse to answer things when you don’t want to.

18. Learn distress tolerance and coping skills for socializing

You can manage your stress indoors with meditation, yoga, eating healthy, sleeping, and so on. However, if you often go outdoors and the stress and anxiety activate then, you don’t have enough time or the appropriate space to work on stress management.

So, when you feel distressed in social situations, go to the washroom and take deep breaths. Breathing exercises, counting backward from 100, and even counting your steps can help you distract your mind. Tell yourself you’ll do better next time, go out, and give it your all.

19. Understand the reason behind the emotions

Sometimes you’re plagued with negative emotions like sadness, worry, anger, frustration, and irritation. You react to these emotions and push yourself into the deeper pit of depression.

Instead, try to understand the cause behind these emotions rather than just reacting to them. Journal your feelings, the reasons, the situation, and what can make you feel better.

There’s no one solution for everyone, so try to understand your needs.

20. Set goals and celebrate every milestone

To understand your personal values and priority, set realistic goals. Don’t go for long-term ones, or you might feel frustrated and the negative self-talk will begin once again. Instead, break your long-term goals into multiple short-term ones.

Whenever you achieve one goal, no matter how small it is, celebrate it. This will make you optimistic and increase your confidence. It’ll increase your drive to achieve more.

A word from ThePleasantPersonality

While you can work on this journey alone, it’s better to seek others’ help. You can’t always have control over your emotions and thoughts. You need others to keep you on track, motivate you, and point out if anything is wrong.

So, even if your personality traits tell you “Don’t seek others, they’ll be burdened”… it doesn’t matter, just ask for their support!

And before you start, remember it’s a tough journey and sometimes you might doubt yourself when you’ll do the right thing. But whatever happens, don’t stop and keep pushing. Happiness and health are only a few steps away!

Article Sources


1. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-type-d-personality-4175368
2. https://www.healthline.com/health/type-d-personality
3. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality/what-is-a-type-d-personality-and-do-i-have-it/