You wanna know what to do if you’re a type H person but aren’t sure which kind of H-type we’re talking about? Do you already know about the two kinds?
If yes, that’s absolutely great… and don’t worry, my think-piece will cater to you despite which H-type you are. I know… sounds like a good deal, right?
So, let’s get down to business right away!
What To Do If You’re a Type H – healer?
If you’re the H-type which was concluded after researching patients including cancer ones, then this is it. You might be a bit confused about where you might go wrong… but most people say that others take advantage of you. So, let’s try to improve your life here…
1. Find what to feel proud about
Before you try to change or improve yourself, remember that you’re precious. No, I’m not saying this just for the heck of it… but you actually have a lot to feel proud about. After finding the results of personality tests, most people focus on their flaws and start working on them.
That’s nice… but people hardly take a moment to cherish the parts they already have. The world already takes you for granted, so why must you treat yourself the same?
Take a moment to understand your strengths and the pros of being an H personality type and thank yourself and your role models for how you grew up.
Give yourself this much credit… don’t overlook how you actually learned the lessons of life. Make sure that if you ever feel low, you can remind yourself about your strengths and push forward.
2. Get a hold of your issues
Now that you’re confident about yourself, let’s get down to the actual work. I’ve listed some cons of being an H-personality type, refer to that for overall general flaws and list the ones that match with you. Don’t assume that you have all the issues because everyone is unique.
Similarly, you might also have some flaws that aren’t listed there. So, how to find those out? You can ask yourself but you’ll get the right answer only if you’re honest and don’t exaggerate your shortcomings.
But the best way is to ask a trustworthy person to list your flaws. So, if you have one around you, put them to work!
Give them about a week to sort it out and if you wish, you can also list out some weaknesses you believe you have. After the week, discuss both lists together and discuss ways to deal with the issues.
3. Speak out when someone troubles you
When anyone puts you in a difficult position or provokes you to get a reaction out of you, you never react to them. You are pretty detached and have strong boundaries, so nothing usually gets you agitated and you deal with these situations calmly.
While it seems like a mature way to deal with situations, you might encourage their behavior if you don’t speak out. If someone tests your patience continuously, you ignore them for now… but how long will you continue this?
You never say anything that might hurt others. You won’t act like a hound if others do… I understand it’s one of your important boundaries, but people won’t stop just because you don’t react.
Some people feel more fired up to get a reaction out of you during these situations. So, don’t overlook these situations more than once.
4. If you need help, seek it
When in trouble, you always depend on yourself. You don’t wish to be known as the victim of a situation or problem. You don’t blame others because it’s pointless.
You deal with all the troubles all by yourself. Neither do you wait for others to help you nor do you judge others for not stepping in… and just continuing to work hard.
You have all my respect for being self-dependent… but, don’t always act stubbornly and seek help in urgent situations.
For instance, if you can’t find the solution or the team project is due soon and you’re short on time, split the responsibilities among others. You don’t always need to care for everything by yourself.
If you have a team or if people want to help you out, then use that. Nobody will talk less about your efforts for that… neither will you seem weak for taking the help.
5. Know when being hopeful isn’t the best and you must move on
During any difficulty in life, you never give up. You know that once you give up, you’ll truly lose all hope and even if there were any chances, you’ll overlook them because you’ll be too depressed to notice.
So, your mantra is to stay hopeful until the very end. Probably, many miracles happened because you chose to not give up.
But, think what it takes to expect this rare once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Are you too excited because of it? If yes, then you’ll be extremely heartbroken when things don’t work out your way in the end.
Just because you feel that one idea will work out, do you overlook all the other existing ideas? If yes, then you might miss major opportunities to take a different route and regret it later. So, figure out when to end this.
6. If you can’t find a solution, know when to stop researching
When you face a problem, you also study it deeply. You identify the causes, ways the deal with them, the negative effects, and any possible solution to work on it.
But researching these facts consumes a lot of time, energy, and resources. Of course, some situations don’t depend on these factors and you can leisurely research them… but there are ones where it’s only limited.
So, before you begin, think about how much of each factor you’re ready to invest and whether it’s a wise decision.
Suppose you must create a business proposal but there are some setbacks. You have limited time and resources to invest in it and can’t go beyond a certain budget.
In this situation, you must bind your plans to study deeply within the limits. If you see that things won’t work out, don’t be stubborn and let it go!
7. Understand if the other person deserves to be forgiven or accepted
The world is full of all kinds of people. Some never hurt you… some hurt you intentionally… while others regret hurting you and wish to change for the better. You’re a noble soul and you forgive everyone around you.
But, when someone offends you, think deeply about whether they are truly sorry about their actions.
Never blindly accept everyone you forgive… all of them don’t deserve a second chance. Some pretend to be snakes and wait for the moment they can attack you in even worse ways.
I can’t ask you to not forgive… because that makes you happy and comfortable. However, if you forgive an undeserving offender, you’ll only show them that they didn’t offend you.
They might even offend you even more and hurt you in unimaginable ways. So, think if someone needs to pay for their offenses… it’s okay to seek justice!
8. Even if you forgive, don’t ignore the lessons
Suppose you still forgive everyone without any discrimination, that’s your choice. I won’t judge you for that if that gives you peace.
However, don’t forget your offenders’ offenses. I understand you wish to leave the past behind and start anew, but you don’t know if they’re worth trusting.
So, give your offender one chance while you remember how they hurt you. Learn your lesson and don’t allow them to hurt you again. Use your lessons not just for them, but universally. Be alert in general and don’t show your vulnerabilities.
Be aware that this lesson will protect you for a lifetime, so don’t take it lightly. Allow your offender to stay beside you and treat them as you wish. However, if they still find some way to hurt you, they are an alive danger sign… get them off your back!
9. Be kind but also aware
You love showing generosity to everyone around you… but do you know that kindness can attract ill omens? No, I’m still talking about facts.
So, one fine day my acquaintance met a homeless woman with a kid. He bought her food to feed herself and her baby for a few days.
Instantly more homeless people started begging him and they even pulled on his jacket and yelled that if she gets food why can’t they? He had to aggressively push away these people and yell that he also gotta live by and isn’t made of money.
Another time this friend lent money to his coworker for his mom’s sickness that promised to pay him back. He didn’t pay up but borrowed more money from him. At some point, the debt became too huge to overlook and they found his mom was long gone.
When you show kindness to the wrong person or in the wrong position, you might get in trouble… so, be aware of both.
10. Be strict with persistent people
You’re a gentle person owing to your personality trait. Even if someone asks too much from you, you don’t react at all but gently refuse them.
People often get the wrong idea because of that… they feel they can change your mind by being persistent or acting cute. They take your gentleness for being weak-willed.
If you often face these situations, it’s time to switch up and stand your ground with a bit more aggression. I won’t ask you to be rude, but be more forceful about your boundaries.
Tell them that a refusal won’t change based on how many times they plead or how they act. Otherwise, they’ll pester you for longer and make the situation drag out unnecessarily.
But if you’re looking for the other H-type, let’s get rolling!
What To Do If You’re a Type H – honesty-humility?
This H-type was based on personality psychology students Lee and Ashton’s HEXACO model which started as the “Big Five personality factors”. Well, for this you might often meet people that say you complain and nitpick a lot or that you have no motivation. So, let’s get your life a bit more sorted here!
1. Remember, materialism isn’t always bad
So, once you reach a stable position in your life you don’t feel motivated to work harder for money at all. You don’t understand the necessity of striving for more when you have enough. Well, I understand you’re not greedy but don’t underestimate the power of having more money.
Money can’t bring you happiness, but it can certainly offer you security. Your family can do without a luxurious lifestyle, but more money can help you during financial or medical setbacks.
Moreover, if for any reason, you lose your job, get demoted, or the workplace doesn’t stay, the money will help you through.
Moreover, with more money, you can even surprise your family with small loving gestures more often. So, think about what kind of happiness money can bring… even if it’s for a fleeting moment.
2. Be more accepting and tolerant towards others
If you have high levels of the H factor in your personality, you’re probably extremely judgmental of people with different or low morals and those with low H levels. You also easily get offended by them and don’t mingle with them. But a low H level doesn’t make anyone a criminal, so why?
From now on, try to be a bit more open to give them an opportunity and prove themselves. Don’t jump to conclusions just because of their H levels.
If you want to be warier around them, that’s fine, but remember that they are still capable of changing. They’re probably not that mature right now, and some guidance can help them understand the world better.
3. Instead, share your values with logic
If you want to speed up their change, then spend time with them and share your values. Tell them why you believe that and how you’re thankful for these morals, values, beliefs, etc. Ask them how they feel about that… if they have any differing opinions, tell them to freely share those.
Don’t forget to ask them to share their values along with their reasons. Try to know why they feel these are good for them. During the conversation, listen and try to understand their emotions behind it.
Don’t just listen and say “that’s wrong”. Be judgment-free to understand them better. Perhaps, their choices were the best to deal with their environment.
Next, ask them if they ever wished to change their values. If they say yes, ask if they have a plan for that. If they refuse, ask them why.
4. Don’t push your ideas on others
Whether that person agrees or not to change their values and beliefs for the better, never force them to be a certain way. Otherwise, they will feel that you believe you are way better than them and look down on them.
I understand that throughout the conversation, you felt an uncontrollable itch to fix them but they are not criminals… just different. You don’t have much of a say about their morals even if they are your own child.
You can’t force someone to be a certain way just because you asked them to. Rather, they might rebel even more if you act like the better person and force them to do something.
Your ideals are perfect for you, so even if they change, they might not accept your standards completely. Allow them the freedom to choose and they’ll be glad because you trust in them.
5. Be patient with others’ change
People can’t change overnight, so don’t think that you’ll give a counseling session to someone on a Tuesday morning, and they’ll be a brand new person or even your close on that very weekend.
If you try to help people change and walk on a virtuous path, learn to be understanding towards them. They need time to realize that they probably dealt with the wrong people their entire life.
So, their actions were fine until then… but now, they got exposed to good people, and they can’t continue the same way.
The thought “I need to change” won’t pop out of thin air… it takes a lot of thinking to realize that. So, keep supporting them with good advice and wait for the change.
And even if people don’t change, let them choose for themselves!
A word from ThePleasantPersonality
If you’re the healing H-type, be more aware of your surroundings and actions. You can improve your life based on more aware choices. It’s not that you make hasty decisions, but being a bit more straightforward and careful will only help you in the long run.
If you’re the honesty-humility H-type, be more lenient towards people. Stop judging others without a reason… they don’t deserve that. Instead, put yourself in their shoes to understand the struggle. I’m certain you’ll have a more peaceful life that way!
2. https://www.wlupress.wlu.ca/Books/T/The-H-Factor-of-Personality2#:~:text=Description,dimensions of the human personality.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...