So, you’re looking for the answer to what to do if you’re an alpha female… It may be because people have too many negative opinions about you, and you wish to change that. Or because you think your cons are overpowering you.
Well, whatever may be the reason, you’re at the right place because this think-piece will help you overcome all of your flaws.
So, put your seatbelts on and begin the journey!
What To Do if You’re an Alpha Female?
Being an alpha female, everyone either thinks too highly of you out of respect… or too low of you out of jealousy. You have many more shortcomings and hurdles in your life which prevents healthy relationships and growth.
So, plunge in to solve everything!
1. Notice how your aura impacts others
One of the most prominent alpha female personality traits is the intimidating aura. You don’t want to intimidate others but it’s a result of your confident and headstrong nature.
You know what you want from life, have plans, and are stubborn. Due to your experiences, you have good foresight in your actions. You’re aware of the probable issues and know what you’re talking about.
All of that self-assurance and intelligence results in intimidating vibes. If people talk against you or attack you, it’s the right thing to make them feel intimidated by your attitude.
However, if these people mean you no harm, try to soften your attitude. Of course, this isn’t an easy change, so you must mindfully remind others that you don’t mean to be rude.
Tell them, “Don’t misunderstand me, I only wish to help you out.” A verbal clarification will ease the situation.
2. Observe others while you boast
Your personality is so bright and loud that you’re always the talk of the town. Whenever you enter a room, all the spotlights are on you. Even if you don’t want it, people talk about you a lot.
So, instead of opposing it, you embrace the attention and even use it to your own advantage. For instance, you boast about your wins while you socialize.
However, are you aware of the fact that people might not take it the right way?
If anyone is suffering or struggling with their life, they’ll only assume that you look down on them. Instead of appreciating or feeling inspired, they’ll feel annoyed and attacked.
So, be aware of the people in the surroundings when you share your wins.
However, you’re a socialite, so you meet new people almost every day. You don’t know the backstory of everyone around you. So, try to read their expressions and body language to decide for the best.
3. Judge the other person and show your vulnerabilities
You are pretty wary of people’s intentions since you’re aware of the negativity around you. Some people want to misuse your vulnerabilities. So, you always have a guard around you.
You have every right to protect yourself against opportunists. But do you know that it only prevents you from connecting with the right people?
You might have huge social circles but you can’t trust many people to be close with. But this way, you’ll be completely alone even among a thousand people.
So, start judging people and try to open your heart. It’s okay if you don’t want to dive into new connections. But at least, proactively judge others’ intentions.
Don’t depend on time to show you the right people. Instead, take the job up by yourself.
Of course, not everyone is trustworthy, so you’ll also pinpoint the people you must stay away from.
4. It’s okay to ask for help
Due to your alpha female traits, you want to stay an independent woman until your last breath. Since alpha females set the tone in groups of friends and take leadership roles, seeking help doesn’t feel right to you.
Even if you’re at the end of your wits, you never seek help from others. You feel others might question your leadership skills and even demand you to step down from your position.
However, this only puts you in a worse position. You delay finding solutions even longer and just keep yourself stranded. Better than anyone else, you know how that obstructs you from reaching your goals.
So, don’t think too much about it and just seek help. It doesn’t matter what people think so long you can figure things out ASAP.
You don’t usually care about people’s opinions, so don’t care if you’re gossiped about.
5. While you’re career-oriented, don’t forget about your life!
Being an alpha woman, you have a healthy work-life balance, so you never overwork yourself to ailments. A balanced life is only so that you don’t run out of energy to reach your goals.
In the end, everything is always about your career. To reach your goals, you keep all distractions away from your life… which is a great thing!
However, you also don’t form potential healthy platonic and romantic bonds. You assume that serious and close connections will distract you from your goals.
But if someone cares about your priorities, they’ll never try to be your obstacle. Instead, they’ll remind you to focus rather than spend time with them.
So, don’t be scared to date and make new friends. The moment they actively get in your way, walk away from them. The right one will always support your ambitions, so be open to finding them!
6. Even if you’re not friends, be respectful
Alpha women are infamous for coming off as cold and rude to others. This is because you aren’t close to most people. You’re a warm and lovable person around your friends, family, and lover. Otherwise, your emotions are completely shut down.
Especially, if it’s your workplace, you suppress your emotions even more. However, others feel pretty turned off by your dry nature. They get the wrong impressions of you and become your enemies for no reason.
Of course, you don’t care about people’s opinions, but why even make them mad in the first place?
So, try to be more warm and embracing towards everyone in your life. Show you’re happy for others’ wins and express compassion when they share something sad.
You don’t need to overdo it but at least, do the bare minimum. It doesn’t take a lot to smile at someone or pat them during rough days.
7. Seek new interesting things from the simplest activities
Alpha females are all about personal growth. So, you seek any possible chance to grow in your life by learning new things.
You take proper courses, study in the library, dig deep into YouTube spirals about your interests, get practical knowledge from fieldwork, or just learn life lessons.
Though that sounds like a lot, it’s not enough to deal with an alpha female’s extreme hunger for knowledge.
You often get bored as you run out of things to learn. Everyone else feels off because you feel bored.
To deal with this issue, show interest in the slightest activities. For instance, do your chores but actually understand your actions.
When you make the bed, focus on how you lay your sheets or whether there’s an easier way. While cooking, focus on your ingredients and figure out how each of them benefits you.
You’ll feel less bored if you show more interest in everything.
8. Clear any misunderstanding but don’t try too hard
As an alpha female, you know how the world often misunderstands you. Even studies in 2019 showed proof of the changing perceptions over the years. No matter how hard you try, people assume the worst about you.
Of course, those that know you for a while know you well. But others think you’re proud, boastful, mean, and other negative things!
Now, identify who has this wrong idea… Do you deal with them regularly?
If yes, clarify all issues with clear communication. Have a conversation and ask them to write down what they feel about you in a chit without their name. Put all the chits together in a bowl, jumble them, and answer one by one.
They’ll feel more comfortable about staying anonymous as you intimidate them.
Pick up the chits one after the other and spill the truth. However, if people still don’t trust you, let them be!
9. Think before you pass your opinions
You are way more intelligent about multiple topics than your peers. So, whenever you hear someone say things wrong, you correct them. You only want them to know the right thing.
But people often assume that you want to seem like the better one and get pissed. They just can’t stand being called wrong or feel humiliated when you do that.
For instance, if someone’s English grammar or pronunciation is off, you correct them. You make them feel dumb and give others a reason to make fun of them.
So, change the way you help others. Prompt them with the actual info with a text or by whispers. You can also take them out of the social situation and explain it.
Just do something so they don’t feel disrespected or mocked. Be more wary about their surroundings if you truly want to help them.
10. Don’t be bossy ALL THE TIME
In teams, if you’re a leader, you often act bossy and micromanage others. You work along with the team which helps you keep a close eye on them.
Whenever anyone makes a wrong move, you correct them. This kind of leadership can often make others uncomfortable or even hurt their motivation.
Of course, you are allowed to lead your team in your preferred style. But constant micromanaging makes them feel low about themselves. It can even hurt their self-confidence, so change your ways once in a while.
If the team is under pressure or if there’s not enough time, proceed in your way. But when there’s plenty of time, let them have fun. For instance, allow them to experiment and make mistakes when there’s enough time.
Along with that, express that you gotta breathe down their neck only when during the peak times. And you’re open to having fun at other times.
11. Be alert but trust your partner
The alpha female in a relationship is pretty alert about her territory. So, you are possessive about your partner and want to monopolize everything like their time, affection, and everything else!
Now, many women flock around alpha males. So, if your partner is an alpha, it’s normal to be hypersensitive about them being around potential partners.
You overreact even before they do anything wrong. However, this only highlights the lack of trust in the relationship, and trust issues breakeven the healthiest connections.
So, before you demand your partner to stay away from potential partners, understand their feelings. Definitely keep an eye on them, so they can’t take advantage of you.
But also have a little bit of faith that they won’t think of hurting you. Unless they cheat on you, don’t slander them with such claims. Keep tabs and watch their actions. If they do anything wrong, you can decide for yourself!
12. Learn to put yourself first
When people seek your help, you support them even if you have no time or are preoccupied. It’s usually because you feel fulfilled and proud when you help others.
This feeling comes along with being the alpha female. You believe that others depend on you and if not you, who else will help them?
However, you only put yourself in a disadvantageous position this way. You make others feel that you’re always available for them and they have the right to inconvenience you whenever they feel.
If you don’t change this habit, everyone will take you for granted. So, be more aware of your actions and even if you feel worried, stop being so selfless.
Take a moment to tell them that you’ll get back to them ASAP or they must try once more before you give them a hand.
13. If people ask you to settle for less, give’em a taste of their medicine
Alpha females don’t stand toxic masculine traits. So, if your partner cheats on you, you walk away pretty soon. The elderly people are always bothered by how fast you move on from bad partners.
On the other hand, you are also stubborn and don’t confine yourself in your comfort zone. People are always annoyed by the fact that you can’t just sit home and be a wife or mom.
Now, you can’t deal with these people with proper logic or even clear communication. After all, they ask you to give up on your dreams and happiness because their opinions are just the opposite.
So, beat them at their own game. If they keep up with abusive partners happily, tell them how stupid it is to stand abuse and that they are being manipulated. Or, if they or their female loved ones stay at home because of them, tell them how unhappy they are.
Though cruel, they’ll stop bothering you!
14. Make your partner feel more dependable
In relationships, you make the final decision because you know better than your partner. Well, this might make your partner feel low about their capabilities. Even if they are genuinely not good at something, it can lead to suppressed resentment.
Though you wear the pants in the relationship, let them take charge once in a while. Of course, you’re allowed to decide in the end and make financial decisions on your own.
But let him lead in the simpler things like dates, food, and movies. Of course, if they’re a beta male, they’ll appreciate your input. But if not, they want to be taken seriously.
So, make them feel better about themselves by letting them decide. Or, just ask him to help with the hard tasks of the household like opening jars or checking the car and other “manly” tasks.
15. While expressing yourself, use your communication skills
When people attack your beliefs, you stick to your grounds and attack the other person with confrontations. It’s not always the case, but some people don’t even want to harm you.
You have excellent communication skills, so use them in such situations. Don’t blow the topic into something excessively huge, and calmly tell them that you won’t change your mind.
Don’t raise your voice, and maintain a calm composure. You can work out a situation better if you act gently and do not let your emotions take the better of you!
Of course, you can’t stand when people disrespect your beliefs. But this will help you go a long way in your professional and personal life. So, just take a deep breath to calm yourself and then resume your conversation.
A word from ThePleasantPersonality
Even though you’re eager to learn everything at a fast pace, remember changes in your personality need patience. You can’t see results in a day or two.
So, don’t get bored of following the tips, and stay put. You’ll thank yourself for being persistent eventually!
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...