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ESFJ Relationships and Compatibility – What You Should Know

ESFJ Relationships and Compatibility – What You Should Know

Updated on Aug 09, 2022 | Published on Aug 09, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

ESFJ Relationships and Compatibility –What You Should Know

ESFJ relationships and compatibility are based on mutual trust, love, friendship, and open communication. For this personality type, relationships are a lifelong bonding and they are earnest about their intimate connections with others.

They will always date with a serious intent of getting married and settling into family life. All their relationships are based on cooperation, compassion, and credibility. 

Casual dating is not for these serious and thoughtful personality types. ESFJs love long-term romantic relationships.


ESFJ relationships and compatibility

ESFJs approach all their relationships with utmost care. For this sensitive personality type, relationships are important and need to be cared for. They never take risks when it comes to having a stable family life.

Being a compassionate type, ESFJs love being surrounded by many family members. They hate family conflicts and seek harmony in and around them. 

They fall in love and feel comfortable with partners who are warm-hearted and hold strong connections to traditional beliefs.

In relationships, they are highly committed and trustworthy. You will never find them getting into casual dating, or no string attached relationships. 

They are good at remembering important dates like birthdays and anniversaries and know how to make their loved ones feel special.

ESFJs are attracted to many friends and acquaintances because they possess excellent networking skills. They are helpful and others like their kind cats more than anything else.

They are nurturing and reliable in intimate relationships. These individuals prefer partners who can match their wavelength and are selfless and loving in nature.

Since these people possess a service-oriented mindset, they feel great when they can contribute positively in their partner’s life. You may say that ESFJs remain happy if they can keep others around them happy and blissful.

People with this personality type are warm and empathetic. Thus, they can readily notice the changes in their partner’s behavior. 

They will always move out of their safe space to comfort their partners, keep their partners happy, and look after other family members in times of need.

Regarding ESFJ compatibility, we can say that they prefer partners who are kind and caring, have some qualities like them; and can adjust well to all kinds of circumstances.

Going ahead, we will discuss the relationship pattern of ESFJs in various roles that they play in their lives. 

We will also highlight the best compatibility matches of ESFJ personality types and the way they may relate with all the 16 personality types


ESFJ relationships

We have spoken quite a lot about the different aspects of relationships of the ESFJ personality type and that they always look for compatible partners. Now we will highlight how these people behave while performing their roles of being a friend, parents, and romantic partners.

1. ESFJ as a parent

ESFJ parents are kind and sensitive towards the needs of their children. As a parent, they are very loving and encouraging; they also prefer to imbibe values in their children that would shape their child’s overall life.

They show affection and warmth in ways that can help the child in positive ways. ESFJ parents are firm but not rude. 

They love to support their children in their personal endeavors. At the same time, they prefer setting rules for their children so that they become able adults.

AN ESFJ parent ensures safety and security for their child. Their children thrive in a home environment that teaches love and care for each other. A home is a place where children are allowed to share their woes and concerns with their parents.

In this way, the ESFJ parent ensures that their children share everything that’s going on in their personal life. 

These parents regularly expose their children to various social circles so that they develop good social awareness. This also makes the child develop values of compassion and altruism. Children are also taught to maintain their social status.

ESFJ parents are orderly and systematic and imbibe the same values in their little ones. From the beginning of childhood, the kids are taught household duties. They are made responsible and remain accountable for their actions.

This also ensures healthy interpersonal skills in children. Children reared by an ESFJ parent are selfless and kind. 

They believe in sharing things with their friends and extended family members. These kids are humble, grateful, and loyal as well.

Being a giver and a provider, ESFJ love to take care of their child’s smallest needs. These parents are also forgiving and love to teach the best values to their young ones. 

If their child does anything wrong, they take a firm stand to reach the appropriate life lessons to the kids. Being a parent, ESFJs are successful and children who grow up under their tutelage are firm believers in ethics and morality.

2. ESFJ as a friend

ESFJ personalities have a big friend circle. They love mingling, and chit-chatting with their close pals. Setting up good networking with many friends in their daily life is nothing unusual for them.

ESFJs approach friendship with a sense of deep belonging. They are helpful and can extend support to their friends very easily. 

ESFJs are loving and caring friends. They avoid conflicts with their dear ones simply because they love serenity around them.

Being kind friends, they like putting their best feet forward in supporting their friends who might be in need. If their friend is not in a good mood, they’ll be the first ones to notice such subtle changes.

Being socially active, ESFJs are popular and dynamic. Their friends love their vibrant and positive nature. 

Sometimes they are the ones hosting events for their friend’s birthdays, or anniversaries. These individuals invest a lot in maintaining healthy friendships and expect the same from others.

As a friend, ESFJs are always humble and polite. They will be the ones to give you a call once a week to know about your well-being. 

Friendship holds a very special place in an ESFJs heart. They invest their energy, time, and effort in building intimate bonds with their close friends. If you have ever known an ESFJ friend, you must have noticed that you can rely upon them for just anything.

This means they are dependable friends who will do everything to keep you in a joyful mood. Being a sensitive person, ESFJ would feel hurt if criticized by friends.

Generosity and humility is the hallmark of their friendships. They would be the last person to find faults in their friends. They prefer to reciprocate their friend’s affection with more love and support.

Sometimes they trust their friend blindfolded and may get ditched in return. This also makes them fall prey to cheating from people they trusted so dearly. ESFJs have high moral values and they expect the same from their friends.

Thus, their friendship is based on sincerity and enthusiasm. They love no-nonsense in all their relationships, and friendship is no different.

Their high levels of social intelligence help them to win over many friends much easier than other personality types. 

On top of everything comes the energy and committed mindset of the ESFJ that keeps them going smoothly in their path of friendship.

3. ESFJ as a romantic partner/spouse

ESFJs are passionate lovers. They prefer mutual understanding and deep-seated trust in their romantic relationships. For this, they put a lot of effort into building faith and loyalty in their intimate relationships.

An ESFJ partner thinks that fulfilling their partner’s needs is their priority. They never get upset even if their needs and wishes get compromised in the process.

ESFJs believe in long-term committed relationships. They are the typical family-oriented types. For them, family life is what they cherish the most in their life.

These people keep away from casual dating. They meet their partners with the intention of getting married and settling down in happiness and bliss.

An ESFJ partner hates messy things. They wish their partners to be neat, orderly, and systematic by nature. Being a judging personality type, ESFJs prefer following a routine. You will always find their house following the same routine every day.

They are loving partners who find time to take their spouses for a dinner date or a movie night someday. Being an extrovert, their energy levels are always on the higher end. 

They prefer partners who can love, and show a lot of energy and enthusiasm in the relationship. ESFJs take each phase of their relationship very seriously. Right from dating, to marriage, and having a family together, they invest deep understanding and trust in their partner.

They support their partners through tough times. Giving mutual respect and satisfying one another’s needs is the hallmark of an ESFJ relationship.

When these sensitive souls know that they are loved and cared for, they feel blessed. A feel-good factor enables heightened self-esteem and a sense of pride develops deep within them.

ESFJ partners never compromise on the values and beliefs that they may hold. They always like partners who will accept them as they are. Since they are resistant to change; they dislike people who try to change others with some hidden motives.

Overall, An ESFJ partner is the most trustworthy, faithful, and conscientious partner that one can expect. 


ESFJ Compatibility with all the 16 personality types

Being a helper and provider, ESFJs believe in nurturing their relationships. You may find them relating their happiness and contentment with others’ well-being.

These people showcase tremendous commitment and always offer help and support to families and friends. As far as their partner compatibility is concerned, they like partners who are selfless just like them.

They also wish to have partners who can show emotional intimacy and support them in all their altruistic endeavors. ESFJs are peace-loving, so they prefer partners who are understanding and can adjust themselves to any circumstances. 

They dislike nagging people and would never go for someone who keeps saying the same things over and over again. 

For an ESFJ, the ideal relationship is the one where their partners would praise them, and shower endless good words on them. These people feel inadequate if they do not receive appreciation from their near and dear ones.

 Their better half should be outright social, kind, and believe in the institution of marriage; otherwise ESFJs would take an immediate backseat in their relationships.

The compatibility chart given below shows the relationship match of ESFJ personalities with the other 16 personality types.

16 Personality typesMatching when paired with ESFJ
ENFPENFPs are intuitive and future planners. Thus, they may bring innovation, open-mindedness, and more adjustment into the relationship. ESFJs love detailing. They will teach ENFPs the art of analysis and synthesis. These two may not become great partners but can complement each other well by sharing common ideas and life skills with one another.
ENTPBeing strong in using gut feelings, ENTPs will try to understand ESFJs thoroughly. They would look forward to a bigger picture in the relationship; like whether the relationship will work or not; or whether differences of opinions between the two of them can lead to further conflicts.
INFPINFPs can teach open-mindedness and flexibility to rigid ESFJs. Contrary to this, ESFJs are good at organization and planning. They will help INFPs to streamline their work so that last-minute rush could be avoided. INFPs are introverts and ESFJs are extroverts. So it is evident that both these types can contribute their skills to the relationship. Being poles apart, they will bring something new into the relationship every day that the other person will definitely enjoy.
INFJINFJs are intuitive feeling types. They show a great deal of idealism in their relationships. It’s the same for ESFJs also who prefer long-term commitment. Moreover, ISFJs are introverts and ESFJs are extroverts. Both these personalities can blend well in an intimate bonding because both of them can contribute their share to the relationship.
ENFJEBFJ and ESFJ can make very compatible partners. The thoughtful nature of ENFJs can blend well with the detailed-oriented mindset of the ESFJs. Moreover, ESFJs can bring a lot of organization to the relationship while ENFJs can think about the bigger picture. They can plan ahead and decide financial decisions much better than the ESFJs.
INTJESFJs are social and outgoing. They can add spice to the boring life of the intellectual nerds, as the INTJs are commonly known. INTJs are creative thinkers. They teach innovative problem solving to the ESFJs. The introversion extroversion relationship may work well if both partners know each other’s requirements and behave accordingly in the relationship.
ENTJENTJs and ESFJs are not at all compatible partners. Though both are extroverts, their mindset does not match. They may have a difficult time developing similar life values because they see the world on opposite lines. ENTJs are intellectual, rigid, and have fewer feeling factors in them. ESFJs are sensing and feeling types. They are more emotional and deal with situations emotionally, which ENTJs resist or may defy completely. They will have more adjustment problems with one another due lack of understanding and emotional connection. Thus, these two are not recommended matches as per the Myers-Briggs type.
INTPINTPs look for intellectual connections that the emotional ESFJs may not provide. Moreover, the over-thinking mindset of the INTPs may irritate the ESFJs. ESFJs are socially active while INTPs prefer deeper conversations. They are introverts and may not be able to adjust to the outgoing and super energetic lifestyle of the ESFJs,
ISFPBoth these personalities are sensing feeling types. They can relate well to each other. ISFP are spontaneous and they can teach a relaxed and easy-going life to the serious ESFJs. ISFPs can also help them overcome rigidity by becoming more flexible and appreciating things as they are. ESFJs can teach ISFP social networking and build trustworthy relationships.
ESFPESFPs are open-minded, flexible types. Thus they can help ESFJs become more open and easygoing. On the other hand, ESFJs can help ESFPs become more organized and systematic. Thus, these two personality types can become compatible partners.
ISTPISTP and ESFJs are compatible partners because of their sweet and sour blend of opposite qualities. They can complement one another by covering up each others’ deficits and strengthening one another’s positive qualities.
ESTPBoth are extroverts, and immensely outgoing. Moreover, ESTPs and ESFJs share a mutual understanding with each other. Both are sensing personalities. So, they are present-focused and prefer to live in the moments of life. Various social activities and freaking out socially can make these two personalities stay together in happiness and harmony.
ISFJISFJ and ESFJ make excellent partners because of their similar characteristic traits. Both these types are sensing personalities and can tune with one another’s emotional needs. The compatibility will be good if ESFJs learn to give more personal space to the introverted ISFJ. Contrary to this, The ISFJ will have to keep pace with the exuberant and too social lifestyle of the ESFJs.
ESFJTwo ESFJs are usually considered an ideal match. Their values and ideals will match each other because of their exact cognitive functions. Frictions may result from subtle daily squabbling that they can handle with more maturity and love for one another.
ISTJAn ISTJ finds that the ESFJ partner is emotional and understanding. Moreover, both being judging personalities are highly organized and systematic beings. Their relationship will be mutually rewarding because they will blend well with each other’s opposite character traits. The introverted ISTJ gets energized by the social nature of the ESFJs. ESFJ can learn how to stay reserved and become more thoughtful at times.
ESTJBoth are extroverts and can adjust well to each other’s vibrant and outgoing lifestyles. The thinking-judging nature of ESTJs makes them thoughtful. They decide with logic and awareness. And the ESFJs are judging types. It means they base their decisions on emotions. Thus, the contrasting shades of these two personalities can connect well with each other.
ESFJ compatibility with other 16 personality types

To Sum Up

ESFJs like stable, committed, and harmonious relationships. They are conflict-aversive and try to create a happy home. These individuals like to give enough space in their intimate relationships.

They are highly adjustable, helpful, and warm-hearted. You can say they honor their close relationships more than anything else in their life.