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INFJ Relationships and Compatibility – What Do You Need to Know

INFJ Relationships and Compatibility – What Do You Need to Know

Updated on Jan 10, 2023 | Published on Dec 22, 2022

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

INFJ Relationships and Compatibility – What Do You Need to Know

INFJ relationships and compatibility have to be mutual, otherwise, problems may arise in the intimate bonding much earlier than one can even expect. To some extent, INFJs are perfectionists. Just like any other aspect of their life, these individuals are very serious about their relationships. 

They approach their relationships with great care and passion and expect the same from their partners. These individuals prefer relationships that are based on values and faith and are not meant for a casual time pass. INFJs are keen to be with someone who is loving and caring and would devote their time to developing the relationship.

In relationships, INFJs want to be loved and cared for. They prefer committed relationships that are mutually cordial and emotionally satisfying. 

This think piece will explore the various shades of the relationships and compatibility patterns that these people will have in their day-to-day lives.


INFJ Relationships and Compatibility

Relationships hold a special place in INFJs’ hearts. They are serious about their intimacy and bonding with their loved ones. People with INFJ preferences are supportive and remain honest with their partners. They will always encourage their partners to pursue their dreams and desires.

They prefer to maintain harmony in the relationship and never get into unnecessary quarrels and conflicts. As romantic partners, they are humble, grateful, and empathic. These individuals prefer partners who are organized and will plan with them perfectly. They hate unsystematic and messy people and cannot stay with them under the same roof.

Although they love to cooperate and are considerate in nature, INFJs will not compromise with their deep-seated values. They will not accept an idea if it seems to be inauthentic. Thus, INFJs are value-oriented partners and express their deep desire for authenticity and honesty from their partners.

INFJs prefer emotional intimacy and intellectual engagement with their partners. They would enjoy serious, meaningful discussions that are relevant to the relationship. They would love to share their ideas and innermost feelings with their partners. 

INFJs are also lighthearted and prefer to spend time with their loved ones in silly moments of happiness and laughter. They need patient partners who will understand them better than anyone else in this world.

INFJs will also approach parenting very seriously. They will love to teach the best life skills to their little ones. Moreover, they would teach the best values to their children and help them become honest and responsible adults.

As far as friendships are concerned, INFJs are kind and humble friends. They avoid confrontations with their friends who also hold a special place in their hearts. 

In relationships, INFJs will measure the depth of the bonding. They want deeper emotional connections that last a lifetime. Basic human values such as honesty and integrity, humility, and gentleness dominate their relationships.

INFJs will be compatible with partners who are open-minded and can establish a quick rapport. They would love to connect with someone who can engage in deeper communication with them before moving on to the commitment part of the relationship.

The preferred INFJ matches are ISFJ, INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP, etc. These personality types share common personality traits with an INFJ. They will also have shared values and interests to get along well in the relationships.


INFJ relationships

We have already outlined the basic nature of INFJs relationship patterns in the first section of the article. They are introspective partners who prefer to discuss ideas and imaginations as well as feelings and sentiments with their partners.

Now, we will analyze separately the various roles that INFJs play in their daily life. 

INFJs as romantic partners

As romantic partners, INFJs are keen to have meaningful intimacy with their partners. They are naturally inclined to choose partners who are loyal, faithful, honest, and believe in long-term committed bonding. 

They will forge relationships that are based on true love and integrity. For an INFJ, relationships are integral to life and living. Thereby, it needs to be chosen with utmost care and precision.

INFJs will be quite choosy about finding their preferred partner. At times, they want perfection in the relationship, and will take a long time to select the right person to share their life with. These individuals will hunt for partners who have more or less similar traits. They will not match with anyone less than their expectations.

People with INFJ personality traits cannot settle for anything less than true love. They would find partners who are soft and gentle, compassionate and value-driven, and allow an INFJ to attain complete satisfaction in the relationship.

Advocates never take their relationships for granted. They genuinely care and love those who are close to their hearts. It’s unlikely for them to find faults with their partners once they are deeply attuned to the needs of their soulmate. The depth of the relationship that INFJs have can be termed as conventional, where two people are in genuine love with each other.

As romantic partners, INFJs are deeply connected with the subtle needs, likes, and dislikes of their partners. Their romance lies in deep care and concern for their partners. They are honest with them and never hurt them even in their wildest dreams.

INFJs fall in love slowly. Their dating phase may go longer than others. Being an introvert, these people take time to open up in front of an unknown person. They seek a strong bond and prefer to understand each other dearly. 

Once they commit to marriage and family life, INFJs would be extremely reliable, responsible, and caring. Their family commitments always find a special place in their life. They become loving spouses and caring parents who live satisfying life by providing for the needs of their loved ones.


INFJs as parents

As parents, INFJs are quite hands-on. They will rear confident kids who are responsible and can face any challenge in life without harboring any fear. INFJ parents rear affectionate, kind, and considerate children because they themselves possess such humane qualities. 

Children in such homes are taught the best values of life. They grow up as mature and confident kids who are ready to face the world anytime. When INFJs take upon parenting responsibility, they take this job as seriously as any other matter in life. 

They will deeply think about the best possible ways to nurture their little ones. Maybe they will think of exposing their children to varied life experiences so that they can learn many things on their own.

INFJs are compassionate and creative parents and help their children tap into their creative side as well. Parents with INFJ traits will ensure democratic nurturance. It means their children are taught about discipline from very early years. 

The children know what is right and what is not. They know the basic rules or behavior that needs to be done in the social space. These children imbibe good values and good habits from a very young age. 

Children are motivated to nurture their potential and pursue the career of their dreams. INFJ parents also focus on future possibilities. Therefore they ensure that their kids learn the nitty gritty of creating big goals and accomplishing those goals successfully in life.

INFJ parents are not dominating however they are firm with their ideals and values. They will put emphasis on the character building of their children. Sometimes, they may appear a little pushy when it comes to following ethical standards. 

As no parent can be perfect, INFJs are also not without upholding flaws as parents. Sometimes, they will pressurize their children in subtle ways by expecting their kids to follow the same high standards as themselves. 

When it doesn’t happen, INFJs would become impulsive and annoyed. They may also try to critically evaluate their child’s behavior. Rifts can take place in such a scenario and INFJs should consider things a little more easily so that the parent-child relationship does not grow bitter in any way.

After all, every parent wants the best for their children and INFJs are also following the same true path, maybe in a different way.


INFJs as friends

INFJ friends are full of loyalty and compassion. They are just unmatched in their ability to think and feel the best for their dear friends. Since they are sincere and authentic by nature, INFJs would love to have friends who share a similar mindset. 

These individuals will never look into friendship as a means of getting convenience when needed. Instead, they will prefer to help their friends and support them fully during adverse life situations. They will search for a friend with similar interests and a value system so that no compromises need to be made while interacting with them. 

INFJs will prefer to have a small group of friends who are loyal and with whom they can share their deepest desires, dreams, and other life problems. An INFJ friend also likes small intimate gatherings where they know whom they are interacting with. Being introverts, INFJs cannot handle large groups, so their friend circle always remains small and close-knit.

While INFJs appear reserved otherwise, they are not like this when they’re interacting with their close friends. With them, they talk a lot, will move out of their comfort space easily and you may find them in complete merriment with their friends. You may also find an INFJ talking about their passions and interests with a dear friend. 

An INFJ friend is authentic and their friends can rely upon them completely. Thus, it is also difficult for an INFJ to be with someone who lacks honesty and integrity. INFJs are value-oriented individuals. Thus, they’ll not compromise on values that are dear to them.

INFJ friends also want to have mutual support and growth in their friendship relationships. Having fun and enjoyment with friends is only one part. They wish to have meaningful interactions and intermingling that can benefit all. For INFJ, friendship is a prized possession and they will always keep their dear friends close to their hearts.

INFJs will surround themselves with friends who will help them learn new skills, and upgrade their existing ones. They prefer friends who are creative and always bring new ideas to the table. Actually, INFJs are always seeking people who match their vision and conviction in life. Their dear friend should have certain key qualities otherwise the bonding will not be as strong as it should be.

INFJs are always caring and benevolent companions for their friends’ community. They are faithful and prefer to maintain closeness and authenticity in friendship. Their fierce loyalty also allows them to stand tall with their friends during adverse times.


 INFJ compatibility with other 16 personality types

If you dive deeper into INFJ compatibility patterns with other personality types, you’ll notice that these individuals are closest to people who have shared beliefs and interests just like them. This necessarily doesn’t mean that they will not be able to relate with others. Of course, they will but the depth of the relationship will not be the same. 

INFJs would be compatible with intuitive-feeling types of people who enable them to see the bigger picture and also helps them develop greater insight into people’s feelings and values. INFJs compatible partners can be another INFJ, INFP, ENFP, ENFJ, ENTP, etc. 

In the chart given below, you will find the matching details of INFJ types with all the other 16 personality types mentioned in the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory.

16 personality typesCompatibility when paired with INFJ
ESFJBoth these types can match each other because of their similar nature. Both of them have a sensitive, warm, and compassionate nature. 
Therefore, They can bring a lot of feelings into the relationship. The bonding can be really great in terms of emotional intimacy and growing with each other as partners.
ISTJThese two personality types do not have much in common. They can relate well only if both partners are ready to share a lot with each other consciously. 
As they are introverts, both partners will find it hard to express their emotions. There might be a communication gap as well. Both these partners are judging types, so they will have an orderly and organized mindset.
The point of disagreement can occur when INFJs will be focused on future possibilities but their sensing partner will emphasize focusing on the moments. ISTJs are deep thinkers but INFJs prefer flexibility in thinking. So, their internal mindset may not match with each other.
ISFJThese two types share common ideals and world views. Their sensing-intuition function is different. Both partners have many similar traits and they can bring similar types of opinions and perspectives into their daily life.
Both have strong emotional components and it makes them relate with each other at deeper levels. There will be an abundance of kindness, warm acceptance, and mutual understanding in the relationship.
Both partners need to take care of mutual fights and disagreements. Since both these types are sensitive, they may find it hard to leave the relationship if things don’t work out well. Both of them will suffer in silence and it won’t do anything good to the overall relationship.
ESTPSince these two types do not have much in common, there will always be contrasting opinions in the relationship. If they are to get well, then a lot of mutual adjustments need to be done. 
When it comes to romantic relationships, ESTPs and INFJs have different needs. ESTPs are thoughtful types. They prefer deeper conversations on serious matters that The emotional INFJ may not like. 
ESTPs are less showy as far as their emotions are concerned. They are more logical, and this may remain a constraint to meeting their partners’ emotional needs humbly. INFJs want a friendly and understanding relationship that ESTPs may not fulfill as often.
ESFPThese two personality types may not make a great pair because of their lack of differing personality traits. INFPs may like the extroverted qualities of ESFPs only to a certain extent. The difference in their energy levels can make it hard for them to adjust well to each other.
ESFPs live in the moments of life. Thus, they may get annoyed with their partner’s daydreaming tendencies. Moreover, they will not like the organized mindset of INFJs because they prefer flexibility and change.
They will bring compassion and understanding into the relationship because of their similar feeling functions. Besides this, all the other functions will demand a lot of mutual adjustment in order to work things out in the best way.
ISTPThis will be a complicated relationship because of contrasting preferences. ISTPs are grounded in reality and love to think deeply. They are flexible, messy, and easygoing types. 
However, the INFJ type is just the opposite of an ISTP. INFJs are future-oriented, prefer to use emotions in decision-making, and will be highly organized in their daily life. 
The ISTPs will not be able to handle the emotional expressions of INFJs. Moreover, the INFJ type will struggle to keep pace with the easygoing and flexible outlook of ISTPs. Thus, it may become difficult for both these types to relate well with each other in critical moments. 
ISFPThis is a good compatible match because of shared interests and preferences. ISFPs and INFJs are in the green zone for compatibility matching. Both are introverts and will love to have each other’s company. 
Moreover, they are compassionate, caring, and considerate. So, adjustment issues and mutual rifts are quite improbable and even if it happens, they will be resolved easily.
INFJs are conceptual and long-term thinkers. Their vision for the future is clear. ISFPs are present-focused and grounded. Their approach will be realistic and practical. Thus, both partners will have varied thought perspectives that can help them create a better life together. 
The difference in their thinking and decision-making will be helpful for both. Both partners will learn many things from one another.
ENTJThis relationship compatibility will score low because of differences in their preferences and functioning. ENTJs are outgoing and energetic, while INFJs will be low in their social energy. Thus, they may struggle to keep pace with an ENTJs superfluous and vibrant lifestyle.
Both partners would love healthy intellectual discussions, so it’s evident that they will always have a lot of topics to talk about. INFJs are more considerate people while ENFJs will prefer a reasonable and serious approach towards life.
ENTPENTP and INFJ may not have an immediate connection. They have different preferences and world views. INFJs are reserved and quiet. They cannot mingle with people in easy ways because of their private nature. ENTPs are extroverts with an energetic mindset. Thus, INFJs may not find it easy to keep pace with ENTP’s extroverted qualities. They may feel lost in the crowd.
ENTPs are conservative and cannot commit to their partners easily. Moreover, they are more logical and INFJs cannot decide things logically. It makes it difficult to adjust to varying perspectives in life. ENTPs will be emotionally distant and cold. An INFJ may not find it easy to deal with them. Overall, the relationship will have to pass the test of time.
INTJINFJ and INTJ have lots of similarities. The relationship can be both loving and harmonious. Both types may feel attracted to each other because of their interest in exploring ideas and future possibilities.
Both These types are organized and prefer planning. Thus, they can plan their future lives in the best ways. 
INTJs are stoic and INFJs are sensitive. However, if they both try, they can relate well emotionally also. INFJs and INTJs will give each other the opportunity for mutual growth. So, there will be consideration and patience for each other in the relationship.
INFPINFPs and INFJs share their introverted-intuitive qualities. Thus, they prefer to think ahead to the future and never feel satisfied with small details. These individuals are caring, compassionate, and considerate. Thus, they can build happy homes.
The pairing of these two types will be deep understanding and comfort. Both partners will be agreeable and have shared interests. Therefore, fights and disagreements are not probable at all.
ENFPINFJs would love the energetic and easygoing nature of an ENFP type. ENFPs will prefer to enjoy quiet moments of togetherness with the reserved nature of INFJs.
ENFPs are flexible, open-minded, and creative. This resonates well with the INFJ nature because they also prefer out-of-the-box ideas to work with. Unique perspectives and a lot of flexibility will charm the relationship forever.
INFJWhen Two INFJs meet, they will share identical world views. The pairing can be both good and bad. Both partners will understand the deepest feelings of each other and the source of such feelings. They will have similar values and the same type of perspective. Thus, it is easy for them to mutually live with one another. Both are idealists and it may become a problem if both partners get busy discussing and proving their ideas without taking a considerable stance in life. In such a situation, mutual fights or disagreements occur.
ENFJBoth partners would seek meaningful and purposeful connections. The shared idealism, creative ideas, care, and compassion can bring them together in the relationship. This match will be a compatible one because a lot of shared ideas and values operate in the bonding. 
INTPINFJs and INTPs are compatible partners. As both these types are open-minded, the relationship will have respect for each other’s space and privacy. There will be no control and mutual respect for each other’s ideas and opinions. INFJs are caring partners, so they will always support their partner’s smallest endeavors.
ESTJA relationship between these two types will be lacking harmony and can be full of rocks and stones at times. They have completely different needs as far as their relationships are concerned. 
ESTJs are present-focused and want a partner who will live the moments of life with joy and happiness. However, the future-focused INFJs would love to be with someone who sees future possibilities and dreams big in life. Thus, their life values and perspectives also do not match. 
They have different methods of dealing with conflict. INFJs are conflict-aversive. They will avoid such situations completely. Contrary to this, ESTJs will try to resolve conflicts then and there. These two types also differ in their emotional sensitivity and as such the bonding will always have issues in it.
INFJ compatibility chart

To Sum Up

INFJ relationships are a serious matter for them. They invest a lot of time and energy in building an honest and loving connection with their partners. Even in their roles of being a parent and friends, they are always fair enough because of their gentle and compassionate nature. 

Their relationship compatibility depends upon the choice that they make as partners. Sometimes, they will adjust more than what is necessary and would try to build happy families.