- Enneagram 3s are assertive, confident, goal-focused, and industrious.
- They are ambitious and driven by success because of their high achievement motive.
- Enneagram 3s never dwell on failures. For them, writing a success story means overcoming setbacks and turning failures into opportunities.
- Their core strengths lie in their resourceful and energetic nature.
- Being an image-conscious personality type, Three’s hate ordinary life without success and excellence.
Are you an image-conscious person who is driven by power and advancement? Do you always focus on career progression and personal growth?
Are you ambitious, energetic, and always prefer to be the best? If your answers to these questions are yes, you could be an enneagram 3 personality type.
Being a type 3, you are efficient and enthusiastic. You have extraverted qualities that make you an achiever and a status-conscious person.
At the same time, you are charming and socially dynamic. You are well-liked and can become inspiring role models for others to follow.
Your socially valued qualities make you a popular person who can motivate others to accomplish great things in life.
Being three means you live in success. For you, personal accomplishment and goal orientation, coupled with self-improvement is the motto of life.
As you feel that you have much more to offer to this world, you’ll love doing things that can add value to your worth and regard.
Being a no-nonsense type, enneagram 3s belief in achieving things gracefully. Failures make them feel insignificant and invaluable and they just cannot accept it.
They wish to glow like shining stars high up in the sky, the trailblazer who leads the path of themselves and others towards triumph.
Enneagram 3 Personality Infographics
Enneagram 3 – meaning and personality description
Enneagram 3s are known for their high achievement motive. They are confident, assertive, goal-oriented, and socially impressive. Being an extrovert, they are always busy and on the go. They are highly energetic and enthusiastic in their approach to life. These people write impressive success stories that can inspire the lives of many.
A person with an enneagram type 3 personality is self-assured and knows what suits them the best. They believe in themselves and have refined tastes and a charismatic social presence.
Confident, smart, assertive, and ambitious, enneagram 3s prefer to leave a mark in this world. They are impressive with their accomplishments and want to become the best in life.
These people are sophisticated, glossy, and shining from the outside. They have a typical charisma and polished outlook that makes them prefer all the good and nice things that life has to offer.
Being an achiever, enneagram 3s hit their targets without a miss because they are extremely focused on their work.
Their dedication to reaching their goals is unmatched. Because of this, they are admired and looked up to with awe by all other ordinary people around them.
Enneagram 3s are status-conscious people and feel unworthy if they fail. They chase success and never wish to become an unproductive person.
These individuals can work on strict deadlines. Usually has jam-packed work schedules, back-to-back meetings that they can delegate with utmost precision and expertise. They are driven by competence and excellence.
As far as their socialization is concerned, enneagram 3s prefer to mingle with large groups. Their energetic and agile nature makes them people’s person.
Type 3 chases success not only to have the best comforts of life but to gain social respect and recognition. They are guided by a human need for feeling valuable and worthy.
These people want others to recognize their worth, otherwise, they may feel duped and unworthy in some way.
Sometimes, it may feel that whatever achievements they have done in their lives were actually meant to make them feel worthy from within.
What can you expect if you are an enneagram 3?
If you are an enneagram 3, you must be like this –
Being an enneagram 3, you will always strive to get things done quickly and efficiently. You prefer to stay active and busy and earn recognition and credit for your accomplishments.
There is always a tendency to promote yourself socially so that others may get to know you better. Looking good, having a polished taste for all the finer things in life are your key traits.
You may feel stuck if you fail to achieve your goals and get overshadowed by others. You fear losing face and never want to look ordinary in social setups.
Status, prestige, and power are important for you because it validates your worth and self-esteem.
Enneagram 3s are obsessive with success and they never leave a stone unturned to accomplish what they have wished for. You are not an exception to this habit.
You must have learned from your childhood days that achievements can earn you love, praise, identity, recognition, and social appreciation.
It can actually make you feel like an important person in society who can inspire many down-trodden souls.
Since you are overly concerned only with achieving things in life, you may miss out on feelings and emotions. You appear harsh and socially insensitive and tend to repress your own feelings.
Type 3s are known for detaching their emotions and keeping them aside because it may surface in their way of achievements. They do not allow feelings to get into their path of progress and success.
Most of the time, type 3s never self-reflect on how they are truly feeling about certain things in life.
Being a pragmatic and logical thinker, type three decides with rationality and objectivity. They never rely on emotions to decide the important matters of their life.
Thus, your focus of attention remains on meeting goals and hitting the right target at the right time, to achieve success by any means.
You are hardly concerned about feelings and tend to bottle up emotions that may make you feel overwhelmed at times.
Being three means you have a long to-do list that needs to be done anyway, without fail.
Probably, you’re too harsh on yourself and never keep space for making mistakes. This makes you an over-competitive person who can never feel happy and poised from the inside.
Personality traits of enneagram 3 (Adjectives that describes you)
The key personality traits that guide the behavior of enneagram 3s are:
- Driven by success
- Inattentive to feelings and relationships
- Image conscious
- Tries to override on other’s views
- Restrictive and unfeeling
Enneagram 3 – thinking pattern
Enneagram 3s are quite good at considering their mistakes, setbacks, and failures as opportunities for new learning, growth, and innovation.
They never dwell on failures but use every bit of their experiences to work hard and succeed again. They believe that everyone likes confident and successful people. Thus, they cannot afford to fail.
These people are driven by their need to excel no matter what happens. They can turn setbacks into a process of productive learning. In doing so, they make sure that they never repeat their mistakes again.
They focus their mental energy on their goals and plans accordingly. They are quick, fast, and precise. As a result, they are quick decision-makers who prefer to act fast and make things happen.
Type three always does things that increase their chance of success. They never focus on things that are absolutely futile in a given moment. Wasting time is not for these types.
Enneagram 3s are serious, focused, committed, and result-oriented. Their thought processes are systematic and structured. They frequently read and assess the situation before taking a call.
Their decisions are quick, though not based on haste and rush.
Enneagram 3 –Feeling pattern
As far as their feelings are concerned, enneagram 3s are insensitive and appear numb and cold emotionally.
They are quite skilled in detaching themselves from their feelings just to ensure that feelings should not come in their way of success.
Enneagram 3s prefer to sideline their feelings. They seldom self-reflect on their true feelings and thus appear detached and aloof.
More often, enneagram 3s are more connected to anger and frustration. They are always concerned about how others feel about them in real life.
These people seek external validation and if they fail to achieve it, they may become too angry with themselves. Sometimes, they may pity themselves for being an underachiever.
Three’s are usually short-tempered and impatient. They thrive on the good opinions of others yet don’t show off their deepest fears and agonies publicly.
Enneagram 3– Action pattern
Enneagram 3s are the doers. They never sit back and wait for the right time to act. These people take action on time and focus on accomplishing tasks and achieving goals.
Type 3s are adaptive, accommodating, and possess good communication skills. When they work in groups they make sure to maintain healthy relationships with their colleagues.
Being an intellectual type, they bring innovation and new ideas to the table. They hate mundane tasks and always look for challenging roles in the workplace.
They possess a higher need to be praised and appreciated for their good work.
Social image and status are important aspects of their life. Thus, whatever they do, they try to do it perfectly without errors. They never give others a scope to pinpoint their mistakes openly.
To a great extent, enneagram 3s are perfectionists as far as their actions are concerned. The three are competitive and ambitious. Their charm and refined tastes make them appealing in the workplace.
10 signs of being an Enneagram 3
Nicknamed as the ‘performer’ or an ‘achiever’, enneagram 3s have big dreams and realistic goals to accomplish. They are active, agile, and enthusiastic in their approach to life.
Some of the typical signs that make them the most successful and ambitious enneagram types are enumerated below –
1. You want to win always
Enneagram 3 strives for success and they always want to hold the first position. They never settle for less and feel inadequate if they cannot achieve what they have wished for.
Threes are competitive and want to win and are the best in all their endeavors. Nothing can fall short of the mark. For these individuals failure is shameful and they just cannot accept it.
2. Your intrinsic motivation is high
Type 3s are internally motivated. They know what is best for them. The main purpose of their life is to fulfill their goals and creative endeavors.
Threes are productive and efficient. Their unique sense of urgency pushes them towards attaining more. If they fall short of their expected quality they may feel agitated and restless from within.
They need to know that they are the winners in each and every aspect of life, otherwise, their self-image suffers a huge setback.
3. You want to avoid failure
For an enneagram 3, failure is a sign of weakness, shame, and humiliation. They believe that if they fail they might lose their social image and may not earn the respect of people.
4. Unworthiness is your greatest fear
Your self-esteem suffers a big hit if someone tells you that you’re worthless and incompetent. For you, productivity and success can help you hide your weakness.
Sometimes you can even mask your inadequacies by sharing your success stories with the world. The unhealthy three are insecure and feel invaluable and worthless if they fail in their endeavors.
You’ll always use your accomplishments to safeguard the social image and honor that you have in the society you live in.
5. You’re self-deceptive
Enneagram type 3s are anxious and insecure. They deceive their real feelings and display a strong and bold personality to the outside world.
They strive for great things in life that can earn them social recognition and appreciation fair enough to build a secure identity for themselves.
In doing so they might ignore their deepest hurts and agonies and never accept them as true and genuine. This emotional ignorance and avoidance build up a vicious circle of fear and insecurity in them.
There is a continuous striving to receive external validation to fulfill the emptiness that lies inside. Three’s a lie to themselves that they are happy and content, but their feelings reveal a different story altogether.
6. You are an image conscious person
You always want to have a very attractive social presence for which you may have many good dresses in your wardrobe.
Maybe you are the one who will match your shoes and accessories with each pair of outfits that you possess.
Being a three, you are over-concerned about how others perceive you in social settings. You want to look perfect and behave as attractively as possible.
Your ultimate motive is to create an image that people like. Then only you will be showered with more praise and appreciation.
Your aura and positive demeanor coupled with social niceties make you a status-oriented person.
The image of being successful gives you a sense of positive worth and improves your self-image.
7. You always keep setting and re-setting goals
Being an enneagram 3, you will prefer to set goals, accomplish them, and set new goals again to further your career prospects.
You would prefer to make visible growth that can help you maintain the social status that you want.
8. You never enjoy your success
You are too busy accomplishing your tasks and achieving the next goal kept in line. In doing so, you never live the small moments of life.
You are always busy and never look back on past wins. Sometimes, it becomes difficult for you to pause and enjoy your success.
Type 3s need to slow down and take things easy otherwise their over achievements may rob their inner peace and happiness.
9. You’re intuitive and sociable
Being an enneagram 3 you’re intuitive. You can easily pick up the subtle vibes of the room and respond accordingly.
You know the art of responding to the audience in an appropriate manner that will be appealing and charismatic.
Threes have an appealing social presence. They are the social butterflies who understand their audience well. They will relate with them in such a positive manner that is easily acceptable and approved.
10. You are a visionary
Threes think a lot about their future goals. They believe in creating and achieving goals in the best possible ways.
This also makes them great leaders. These individuals are action-oriented and energetic. Thus they visualize and carve a bright and successful life for themselves.
Enneagram 3 motivations
The Enneagram model describes nine personality types that are driven by some core motivations. These are the driving forces that determine your primary Enneagram type and why you think, feel, and act the way you do.
It rewires your behavior in definite ways. A person with an enneagram 3 personality type is motivated by the need to feel valued, important, and competent in front of others.
They fear failures and can do anything to become successful in life. Threes are motivated by passion and achievement.
They believe that they cannot afford to fail because it could make them look like an ordinary person in social settings.
These individuals are motivated to safeguard their social status. They can do anything to have a solid image for themselves. Ultimately, they desire to achieve, accomplish, and succeed, no matter what comes in their way of victory.
The core motivations of enneagram type 3s can be explained by highlighting their –
- Basic desire
- Basic fears
The basic desire that enneagram 3s possess are:
- They set big goals and achieve them successfully just to stay tuned with their need to remain valued and accepted.
- Enneagram 3s honor the admiration and adoration of others. They are motivated to safeguard their social image from threat.
- They want to be affirmed and regarded for their achievements. It makes them feel worthy of themselves.
- Enneagram 3s are driven by competency and excellence.
- Type 3s are motivated to impress others and gain social accolades.
- They are competitive and want to be distinguished from others as more capable and worthy.
The basic fears that dominate their mindset are –
- Feeling of being worthless
- Losing social awareness and image
- Not achieving desired results
- They perceive success as a tool to feel good about themselves and whenever they cannot attain what they have wished for, they may fall into despair and melancholy.
- Deep down, enneagram 3s are insecure and fearful. They crave attention and adoration because it makes them a worthy being.
Core values of enneagram 3
The core values of an enneagram type refer to the moral guidelines that direct their behavior and overall personality makeup.
Values are the principles or beliefs that type 3 people consider as vital and significant in their life. The core values of enneagram 3s are social recognition, competence, and achievement.
- Enneagram 3s are goal-directed and strive for performance and excellence.
- Achievers prefer praise and appreciation. It builds up their self-esteem and worth to a great extent.
- They are guided by competence and hard work.
- Enneagram 3s are keen to work on themselves. They prefer self-improvement that helps them to stay ahead of others.
- Type 3s want to get things done. They are action-oriented and hardly daydream in their private world.
Healthy and unhealthy behavior patterns of enneagram 3
The nine interconnected types of the enneagram model highlight healthy and unhealthy behavior patterns for each type.
This means that the level of functioning of these types will vary in accordance with the mental state of the person and the prevailing life circumstance they are in.
When an enneagram type 3 moves towards personal growth, the behavior that they manifest appears healthy and aligned with their typical personality dynamics. They may show up more like enneagram 6.
However, in times of disintegration and stress, the type manifests behavior that shows the traits of enneagram 9.
The stress arrow displays unhealthy patterns that are not aligned with their own type. Rather, they may become aloof, disengaged, and socially isolated like the nines.
Let’s get into further discussion on the healthy, unhealthy, and average enneagram 3 types.
Healthy enneagram 3
The healthy three are driven by achievement and success. They are outgoing, helpful, cooperative, and driven by perfection in their workplace.
They can achieve even the impossible with their growth-oriented mindset and inherent charm. When they are healthy, they can act as role models who inspire others to bring out their best selves. At this stage, type 3 becomes more adaptable and flexible.
The healthy three are poised and easygoing because they have learned to slow down and balance work-life issues efficiently.
They have a goofy side as well that makes them look less serious and more stable and relaxed. As if, they have mastered their insecurities and have learned to take life easy.
Signs of healthy enneagram 3
Healthy enneagram 3s behave like this –
- Self-directed and devoid of insecurities.
- More accepting of oneself.
- Modest and helpful.
- Possesses a good sense of humor.
- Healthy 3s are self-assured, energetic, and never pity oneself.
- They’re adaptable and flexible with changing circumstances.
- Ambitious and focused on being the best.
Unhealthy enneagram 3
The unhealthy enneagram 3s are envious and overly competitive. They are image-conscious and can do anything to safeguard their social status.
These three always seek approval from others to feel good and worthy of themselves. They may suffer from melancholy and hopelessness if their self-worth gets affected in negative ways.
When they’re unhealthy, Enneagram 3s may suffer from low confidence and setbacks. They may not be able to achieve desired results.
The achiever can shut down and suffer from gloom and mood swings. For so long they have tried their best to curate a social image for themselves that is powerful and successful.
But now, despair and low self-esteem have taken a toll on their mindset. They may choose to reject their sense of self altogether.
If their mental health deteriorates further, enneagram 3s may even harm others’ reputations. Jealousy and backstabbing tendencies may emerge and destroy their inner peace forever.
Signs of an unhealthy enneagram 3
An unhealthy type 3 may look like this –
- Fears failure and setbacks.
- May become opportunistic.
- Can harm others’ reputation to safeguard their own social image.
- Can exploit others to meet their vested self-interests
- Unhealthy 3s are deceptive and never want to surface their mistakes and wrongdoings publicly.
- Untrustworthy and betrays others.
- Vindictive and envious
- Destroying a mindset that lacks balance and stability.
- Attempts to ruin happiness, peace, and achievements of others, just out of jealousy.
Average enneagram 3
The average enneagram 3 is busy and driven by new goals. They believe in achievement as a way to foster self-growth. People with type 3s never mind putting their best efforts to accomplish tasks.
As they fear failures, they strive for perfection and always keep things going towards goal accomplishment.
The average three is competent and prefers recognition. They set their eyes on achieving the first position always, often at the cost of their emotional well-being.
These people lack peace of mind and hardly live a happy life. Their definition of happiness is measured by their ability to become the best in whatever they do.
These three are highly competitive and attain successful positions in their workplace. Others like their efficiency and expertise.
Signs of an average enneagram 3
An average enneagram type 3 behaves in this manner –
- Too concerned about their performance.
- They can never settle for less.
- Always wants to be the best in everything.
- An average 3 is a social climber, a perfect careerist who just strives for excellence.
- They want to earn social recognition and praise.
- Fearful and insecure.
- Fear of failure is apparent.
- Constantly promotes oneself to feel worthy.
- Inflated sense of self, grandiose feeling is seen.
- Always crave attention and try to impress others.
- Pragmatic and realistic thinkers.
- Highly image-conscious.
- Loses touch with the innermost feelings of oneself.
- Feels jealous and vindictive when others earn success in front of them.
- Tries to package themselves just to get praise and appreciation from others.
Enneagram type 3 wings
Enneagram wings refer to the personality types that lie on either side of your primary Enneagram type. For example, if you are a type 3 enneagram, your wing types are 3w2 and 3w4.
The wings are known as the second side of your personality. It is the type that either adds, complements or contradicts some of the traits of the main type.
Wings add flavor to your main type because you will possess some traits of your adjacent types also. The two types next to your dominant personality type influence your overall behavior patterns.
You may say that wings are the close neighbors who can directly influence your thoughts, feelings, and actions in significant ways. You cannot deny their role in shaping your innate nature.
For enneagram 3, we have two wings. They are discussed in detail here –
Enneagram 3 wing 2 characteristics
People with enneagram 3w2 have the dominant qualities of enneagram 3 but identify with type 2 as well. These three share certain common traits with enneagram 2.
These three are outgoing, sociable, friendly, and talkative. They can mingle with large groups of people and are extroverts in the true sense of the word.
Enneagram 3w2s are social influencers with a charm and appeal of their own. They thrive on social bonding and want to be praised and appreciated for their achievements.
- 3w2s are ambitious and goal-oriented.
- They are charming and socially appealing.
- These people have an assertive communication style that attracts others towards them.
- 3w2s are scared of failures. They do not want to lose the love and affection of their dear ones.
- They want to be accepted, praised, and admired for their accomplishments.
- These people are status conscious and never want to lose their social prestige.
- 3w2s are lively, vibrant, and encouraging. They can inspire others to live a fulfilled life.
- They set ambitious goals just to avoid failures and setbacks.
- Always want to feel important in life.
- They cannot handle criticisms.
- Self-awareness is key to their personality type.
- They are efficient workers.
- Easily connects with others and cares for the overall good of the community.
- Sometimes 3w2s manipulate unintentionally, just to get what they have wished for.
- They are socially competitive and seek external validation to feel worthy of themselves.
- 3w2s are straightforward and have good communication skills. This makes them able leaders.
Enneagram 3 wing 4 characteristics
Enneagram 3 with a 4 wing is self-aware and ambitious. They are more goal-oriented than the other type. These three want to be recognized for their good work.
They depend on others for validating their thoughts and feelings as authentic. Moreover, you’ll find quiet and reserved people who are serious types and prefer to accomplish their goals.
3w4s always strive towards perfection and success. Personal growth is a key aspect of this personality. They never sit back in times of failure. They know how to turn their setbacks into opportunities.
- 3w4s are focused and ambitious.
- They would hate to taste failures in life.
- These people feel worthy if others appreciate them.
- They are attentive and dedicated in their work.
- 3w4s tries to improve their existing skills and adds more each day.
- These types of three are pragmatic and take life seriously.
- Being an enneagram 3, you would look forward to personal growth and creative innovation in your career.
- They suffer from self-doubt in times of stress.
- 3w4s are moody, sensitive, and get emotional too often.
- They cannot accept setbacks, loss, and disappointment.
Enneagram type 3 subtypes
Enneagram subtypes are the instinctual tendencies that describe how you’re wired to think, feel, and act in your daily life. The instincts are the body-based primal forces that ensure your survival needs.
These subtypes are influential factors that affect the way you adapt yourself to the changing circumstances in life.
Thus, the subtype is formed by the combination of your primary enneagram number and your instincts. These subtypes are unconscious and one of them typically dominates your overall personality type depending upon your adaptability and the situation you are in.
For enneagram type 3, the three subtypes are:
- Self-preservation (SP) – Security
- Social (SO) – Prestige
- Sexual or one-to-one (SX) – charisma
The self-preserved three are restrained and restricted. They dislike showing off or talking about their achievements.
They are less image-conscious than the others. This subtype of enneagram 3 is efficient and productive. They prefer to take action on time and want security in their life.
The self-preservation types are workaholics and want to accomplish their duties with self-sufficiency and reliability.
The social subtype of enneagram 3 is dominating and assertive. They want to influence and inspire others with their achievements and success.
These individuals are competitive, aggressive, and prefer to be in the spotlight wherever they go. Moreover, they can best learn and adapt to social norms and live by them.
This subtype of enneagram 3 is image-conscious. They do not want to look ordinary and strive to become the best in their pursuits.
Being successful is important to them and they cannot accept failures at all. It makes them upset and depressed.
They try their best to cover up mistakes and look good in front of others. For these people, social prestige and recognition for their good deeds are the most important aspect of life.
Sexual or one-to-one (SX)
This subtype is energetic, charming, and socially appealing. This allows for good social interactions. They are good at developing deeper intimate connections with their loved ones.
They try to support others and feel accomplished from within. This means that they visualize success in relative terms.
They may think that if others around them are successful and accomplished, they are successful as well. Most three belonging to this subtype are people pleasers. They crave others’ attention and feel good if recognized for their good deeds.
Enneagram type 3 relationships
Enneagram type 3s prefer genuine and authentic intimate connections. They like people who are honest, caring, selfless, and driven by some good purpose in life.
Three need partners who can understand them well and keep pace with their high energy and enthusiasm. Thus, for them, extroverted partners will be a good choice.
These people have a deep desire to be valued and acknowledged for who they really are. They can blend well with people who are achievers and share a competitive and growth-oriented mindset.
Let us explore more on the asset of enneagram 3s in relationships and understand how they perform their duties as romantic partners, friends, and parents.
As Spouse / romantic partners
Threes are committed and serious partners, though not the usual emotional types. They bring a lot of logical understanding, reasoning into the relationship.
Sometimes, you may think they are rude and haughty with their partners but in reality, they are not the touchy-feely types at all.
Achievers are romantic partners. For them, love is all about caring and supporting your partner in need. You may not see an enneagram 3 taking their partner for a date night. They may not even give gifts or presents often.
Deep within, they love and care for their partners immensely. These people are lovers of success and excellence. Thus, they always help their partners to achieve their individual life goals.
Type 3s always want to know how their partners view them in reality. They are concerned about their social image also. Partners who praise and appreciate them will find a place in their hearts pretty early.
In relationships, enneagram 3s are honest and direct. They hate to pretend and like straight talk. From the beginning of the relationship, type 3s make their expectations clear.
They never hide anything from their partners and expect the same level of commitment and honesty from them as well. This type brings integrity, honesty, and loyalty to the relationship.
Type 3s are less expressive and may find it difficult to connect with their partner’s deepest emotions. They may struggle to understand the exact nature of their partners in the initial days of the relationship.
Slowly, they become more comfortable and become loyal friends forever.
Enneagram type 3 parents are concerned with the high achievement and success of their children. Being a goal-focused type, they have high expectations from their children.
From the early days of their life, these children are taught to follow their goals explicitly. They are taught to put in hard work and always deliver good work.
The children were never taught to taste failures and thus they became anxious and insecure when they failed in their endeavors.
Enneagram type 3 parents use star charts, incentives to motivate and inspire their little ones to excel and conquer the world.
These children are often perfectionists because they know their mistakes will never be overlooked by their competitive parents.
Children brought up by these overachiever parents often suffer from emotional stress and strain because they remain under the pressure of performing always.
Type 3 parents may get emotionally overwhelmed if they find that their children are not performing to the mark. Type Three never want to see setbacks for their children and can push them to become their best selves.
The children are exposed to a variety of learning experiences. Most of these kids are multi-talented and good in diverse subjects and activities.
Threes can cheer their children fully. They inspire them to become responsible and organized adults.
Being an enneagram 3, you prefer to make friends with those who share life goals and similar values with you. Friends are treasures of life and enneagram three believe in this saying wholeheartedly.
They are helpful, supportive, and committed friends. Threes share their life’s vision with their close pals.
They like to spend quality time with their friends by discussing encouraging topics on a wide variety of topics from politics to sports, current affairs to social problems, love and romance to dating, etc.
Threes prefer admiration and recognition from their pals. They want to be recognized and praised for their good deeds.
In friendships, threes avoid conflicts. They readily agree to what their friends want because they fear losing them.
Fear of losing close friendships makes them insecure and thus they choose to conform to what their friends say.
Type threes thrive well in friendships that are less critical and more encouraging. Since these individuals are too image-conscious, they may suffer from low self-esteem if their friends flaunt their mistakes publicly.
Threes prefer to savor the tiny joys of life with their friends. Anything from good food, casual discussions, serious talks, and game night can become the ideal downtime for an enneagram 3.
All these can bring a new flavor to their otherwise serious lifestyle.
Enneagram 3 compatibility with other types
Let us see how Enneagram 3 personality individuals behave and maintain when they partner with people of other Enneagram types.
The following compatibility chart would give us a better idea to what extent an Enneagram 3 is compatible with other Enneagrams –
|Enneagram Types||When Paired With 3|
When an Enneagram Three pairs up with the Enneagram One, it combines the charm of a Three and the detailing and order of One.
The Three allows the One to take healthy risks. They make them realize that failure is acceptable and the only way to grow as an individual.
On the other hand, the One reminds the Three of the need for ideals and tenderness as their relationship grows.
They let them see the big picture and help execute each other’s dreams.
The relationship between Enneagram Three and Enneagram Two presents the world with their winning smiles and hearts.
The couple carries out responsibilities, focuses on deep specialization, and becomes a partner in each other’s dreams.
The pair shows true love in the world and displays it vibrantly. When either of the two (usually Enneagram Two) feels left behind, it becomes necessary to learn effective strategies for communication.
When Type Threes pair up, they work toward meeting their individual and each other’s goals, apart from turning their dreams into reality.
They do well as a couple when they work to identify mutual benefits and learn from each other’s brilliance.
They love serving one another, and this makes them a mutually loving and giving couple.
The Enneagram Threes require honesty and safety in their relationships.
A couple of Enneagram Three and Enneagram Four brings Three’s boldness and confidence, with Four’s mystery and romance.
The pair hold a mutual adoration and charm for one another.
The playful and witty Three and help bring out the Four from their brooding nature.
On the other hand, the Four can make the Three, take things slowly in life, and appreciate it.
When an Enneagram Three pairs with an Enneagram Five, they have the precision and innovation to bring their short and long-term goals to life.
While the Three brings passion, the Five becomes infatuated with Three’s attitude to achieve their goals.
The world can see the glory and wisdom of this couple. People long to be close to these two individuals. It is when the pair happens to be at their best.
As a couple, Type Three with Type Six is always on the lookout for achieving something big.
They give immense value to truth and honesty. They work hard for their benefit and also to gain acceptance of one another.
The pair enjoys building and developing new avenues together. They are sensitive, even though both these individuals adopt a practical approach while showing love in the world and at home.
Enneagram Three and Enneagram Seven make for an exceptional couple, as they have the tenacity to go after achieving their ambitions and big dreams with confidence.
The pair loves to connect and communicate efficiently.
As they go into safe boundaries, they can trust that the other individual loves them and understand they are doing their work.
The exuberant couple can change the world with their whole lot of gifts.
When an Enneagram Three pairs with an Enneagram Eight, it creates a cushion of healing and safety.
The Eight cares that Three should receive proper treatment, while the Three will take care to let the Eight feel respected.
The relationship blossoms thanks to their mutual love and respect. Three feels loved, valued, and protected, serving the Eight selflessly, while the Eight opens up to care and vulnerability like never before.
The pair of Enneagram Three with Enneagram Nine indulges in passionate projects and love style and culture.
The couple creates a balance, with Nine looking for peace and preferring to take things slowly, while the Three focuses on solving issues rapidly.
Even though the pair is well aware of their requirements, the real enjoyment happens when they can create games and achievements as a pair in their family while enjoying date nights and life as a whole.
Dating tips for enneagram 3
Enneagram type 3s get attracted to people who are driven by aspirations and success. They relate well with those partners who share similar life goals with them.
Probably, type 3s would look for someone who is ambitious, goal-directed, and an achiever in their own good ways.
If you are dating an enneagram 3, you should remember that you are dealing with a high-end performer personality who can push themselves quite hard to get things done.
Understanding about this type may appear uphill at times but you need to keep patience and resilience to keep moving with things slowly and steadily.
They are not easygoing emotional people who can fall prey to sweet dating charm. These individuals value success and can judge their partner preference based on the procurement of good skills, knowledge, expertise, and goal realization.
Thus, if you are looking for a long-term friendship with them, you will have to learn the quick tricks to connect with them deeply.
Rapport building with threes is not an easy job because they will scan your motives in detail. Enneagram 3s are hard to deal with.
To some extent, they are less emotional and more rational in their way of dealing with people, even with their intimate relationships.
- Type 3s will want their partners to know their social circle. So, be sure that they will introduce you to their friend’s circle immediately. They want you to know their social image and how much popularity they have socially.
- It is quite usual that type 3s are naturally turned towards perfection and elegance. They will probably show you the best things that they possess. Maybe finest home interiors, expensive décor, and a costly lifestyle. If you feel you can blend well with this lifestyle, you’re welcome.
- Type 3s are charming and attractive. You will fall in love with them the moment you meet them. Simply because of the magnetic charisma with which they uphold themselves in public life.
- Most enneagram 3s prefer interesting discussions on a wide variety of topics. So, you can connect with them deeply if you know the art of initiating and maintaining thought provoking conversations.
- People with type 3 personalities are brutally honest and loyal. So they prefer partners who share similar life values.
- They are devoted to their work and you’ll be expected to remain serious with your work and life goals as well. Type 3s are not keen to bond with the mediocre and that’s the truth they hold firmly in their life.
- Enneagram type 3s prefer partners who are helpful and can support them if they get stuck in some way.
- They prefer busy lifestyles and you need to keep pace with their busy schedules and back-to-back deadlines.
- Enneagram 3s are straightforward and prefer to do things with precision and dedication. They prefer similar qualities from their partners as well.
Enneagram 3 workplace habits
At the workplace, enneagram 3s are the real performers. They strive to achieve success in whatever role they are put in.
Armed with hard work, dedication, and passion, these individuals write their own success stories that are socially appealing.
Enneagram 3s are self-motivated people. Their need to excel drives them towards attainable goals in a short period of time.
Their workplace habits include efficiency, energy, and risk-taking behaviors. They have never learned to fail in their endeavors.
However, they believe in doing things in the right manner. People with an enneagram 3 personalities are the real heroes in many organizations.
Now, let us see how these people perform their duties in various roles in the organization.
AS type 3s are achievers, they tend to inspire and motivate their colleagues and team members to give their best. Threes are cooperative, helpful, and can always bring fresh ideas to the table to work on.
Being an extrovert, three’s can be socially engaging and relate with team members at a deeper level. They believe in commitment and mutual collaboration at the workplace.
Most of the time, you may find an enneagram 3 taking the onus of accomplishing an important task on behalf of their colleagues. This is possible only because three’s are the go-getters. They are moved by passion and dedication.
These people support others wholeheartedly and can bring out the best outcome in the organization. Type 3s never complain about what is not done but they talk about what can be done in reality.
Enneagram 3s might have more problems delivering their work being in this role because they are not the ones to follow instructions from others.
Achievers prefer to work independently. They cannot take commands easily and follow their head and heart. These individuals are goal-oriented and seek to achieve perfection and excellence.
Sometimes, if their views contradict with their managers, three’s may prefer to follow their managers but their performance would suffer because they would be doing the work just for the sake of doing it.
Type 3s are assertive and may verbally express their opinion in team meetings, even if their managers do not like it. Sometimes a cold war may start to emerge between them and their immediate boss.
Moments of anxiety and suffering may crop up in the workplace quite often.
Enneagram 3s are excellent managers. They are able leaders who appreciate sharing individual ideas in team meetings.
Being powered by achievement, type 3s set clear-cut goals for their team. All the teammates are allowed to offer suggestions and solutions. Nobody is undermined openly but the final call is taken by manager three.
Threes are magical and charismatic. Their optimism and enthusiasm can help their colleagues and subordinates to bring out their best talent.
Type 3s love to involve the whole team because they are highly socialized and can see the good qualities of others. They are inspiring and have qualities that make them see the goodness and strengths of others.
In a nutshell, type 3s have all the qualities that are essential for the role of a manager or leader.
Enneagram 3 career choices
Enneagram type 3s are overly competitive and ambitious. They are driven by achievement and success. You may never see them procrastinating and delaying their work.
As such they choose fast-paced career options that can be rewarding and motivating. Type threes are hardworking and can set big goals to work on them. They know how to keep themselves busy and meet deadlines on time.
Since they’re always on their toes, they choose careers that are energetic and give them the opportunity to work independently without depending on others.
People with enneagram 3 personality types want to be noticed in their workplace. They like to be admired and praised for their good work. Thus, career choice is important for them.
They choose career options that are in tune with their skills. They just want to stand out and get noticed for their work. Failures can make them fall into shame and pessimism.
It has been seen that most achievers do well in careers that are interesting and innovative and give them an opportunity to learn new things every day.
Some of the best-suited careers for type threes are:
- Advertising professional
- Financial analyst
- Investment banker
- Marketing and sales
- Social media manager
- SEO strategist
- Life coach
- News journalist
- Business analyst
- Financial advisor
- Real estate agent
Core strengths of enneagram 3s
The strengths of a personality type refer to the areas of expertise, skills, proficiency, and knowledge that they may use to deal with daily life effectively.
Enneagram type 3s are known for their high energy and enthusiasm. They are driven by achievements and success.
Most often, these individuals display many positive qualities that make them exemplary in society.
Some of their key skill sets are:
Enneagram 3s are efficient and hardworking. They will put their head and heart into making things happen. These people are go-getters and never procrastinate before the goal is reached.
Their ability to use their personal resources efficiently to accomplish the assigned tasks on time is just unmatched.
Enneagram 3s are known for their dedicated focus and vision. They never stop doing it until it’s done.
2. Resourceful and energetic
Enneagram 3s are resourceful. Since they strive for perfection, they usually have diverse interests. They prefer new learning and keep themselves updated on new developments and innovations.
These people are highly energetic and prefer taking action rather than idealizing concepts and constructs.
Type three seldom gets tired. They are physically active and mentally agile. You are the one who prefers to move around and share your skills and talents with others.
Enneagram 3s are ambitious and goal-oriented. They never wish to live an ordinary life. For them, achievement can earn them praise, social prestige, recognition that they deserve.
They are driven by a need to excel and prove their worth in this world. Type 3s are self-motivated and can guide their inner powers to accomplish the hardest of tasks without second-guessing.
Being ambitious people, they never settle for less but strive to attain the maximum out of anything. Being valueless is the core fear that they possess. They will hate to live the life of a commoner.
Enneagram 3s are open-minded and flexible. They are spontaneous and prefer to move with the current trends in learning and development.
They never shy away from learning good things from others. Keeping themselves updated is a way to gather self-worth and expertise.
Moreover, they are flexible and listen to the opinions of others. They may keep the views of others with them that are in tune with their personal beliefs and perspectives.
People with type 3 personalities are curious to know others’ views and challenge their own. Instead of getting angry when they’re wrong, these people try to imbibe all the good values and knowledge that they have learned from others.
5. Inspiring for others
Enneagram 3s are socially dynamic. Their assertiveness and self-confidence make them charismatic. People look up to them with awe and respect.
Thus, they may inspire the lives of many around them. Type 3s are outgoing and their zest for life is captivating. They can motivate others to bring out their best skills and strengths.
Their dynamic and energetic nature is infectious and others easily get attracted towards them.
Core pitfalls/blind spots of enneagram 3s
Like any other personality type, you will have your share of blind spots and inadequacies that makes you who you are.
Some potential trouble spots or issues that can appear threatening are –
People with enneagram 3s are overly concerned about their social image and status. They hold a false belief that society gives credit and recognition to people who are successful.
Thus, you will try your best to fit into the social frame. You need to succeed under any circumstances otherwise it may dampen your status and social power.
2. Threes cannot admit their mistakes
You are never ready to accept your mistakes. Discussing negative things about yourself makes you feel inferior and you would probably love to avoid such discussions.
You will probably dismiss conversations that pinpoint your mistakes and deficiencies. This is evident in situations that hint at criticism.
Being a three, you will always be poor in handling negative verdicts about yourself.
As you remain preoccupied with achievements and success, you will have a tendency to rush with things. You prefer doing things fast and never want to slow down.
Threes are impatient and cannot wait to perform or accomplish a task slowly. Sometimes, this impatience can cost them dearly. They may make many mistakes that they might not have ever thought of.
4. They cannot accept failures
Being an enneagram type 3, you will never accept failures easily. You are a result-oriented person who wants to taste success. Failure makes you weaker and vulnerable from within.
You may suffer from insecurity and anxiety and would try your best to keep your personal image intact and unhurt, otherwise, you may behave like an ordinary and worthless person.
5. Losing touch with their own feelings
People with type 3 personalities often lose touch with their innermost feelings. They strive for excellence and perfection.
Their achievement motive is high and it doesn’t allow them to fall back on feelings.
Their self-conscious mind gets busy with building an image that appears appealing. In the long run, type 3s forget the difference between their real self and ideal self.
They keep on producing a self-deceptive social image at the cost of their actual needs and feelings.
Deep down, the three are lonely and isolated. If others do not admire them, they tend to view themselves as a failure.
Stress triggers of Enneagram 3
Stress is everywhere, at home, workplace, social living. We all go through moments of stress and strain in our day-to-day life. Maybe the triggers that cause mental pressure and agony are different for all of us.
Likewise, people with a type three personality may get overwhelmed in times of stress and emotional restlessness. The likely triggers for them could be:
- A continuous striving for perfection and success.
- People’s pleasing tendencies may overwhelm them frequently.
- If they are to taste failure, enneagram 3s would go jittery in no time.
- Stress may occur due to failure in solving problems.
- They fear humiliation and insult.
- Feelings of incompetency can make them stressful
- If they do not get appreciation for their good work, they may feel overwhelmed.
- When they compare themselves with other successful people, they may feel inadequate.
- Enneagram 3s may get stressed out if they cannot achieve things on time. Their self-esteem may suffer a huge setback.
- If they are stuck in mundane tasks that are less challenging and stimulating, they may start feeling anxious.
- Threes are frustrated if asked to be with people who lack proper vision in life.
- Loss of valuable relationships in life can also cause stress in them.
How do they handle stress?
The Enneagram model of personality theory says that each of the nine enneagram types disintegrates under stress. This means that they tend to move towards the behavioral pattern of some other type.
When type 3 disintegrates, it shows the signs of enneagram 9. Your usual ways of behavior change. When under stress, type 3s may show signs of lethargy and procrastination. You may no longer have the urge to achieve more.
This shows that you have deviated from your usual ways of behaving. Chronic daydreams, easygoing, and relaxed attitudes may take over your mindset too soon.
Under stress, you may find yourself under a pile of work. You may start feeling like an underachiever.
Some of the best stress-busting tools for enneagram 3s are as follows:
- Take some time out of your success and achievements and try doing some interesting and fun-loving activities with your friends and family.
- Remind yourself that you’re good enough and confident by using positive affirmations. Stop seeking validation from others as it will only make you weaker day-by-day.
- You can write a gratitude journal and refer to all the good things that life has given you. Appreciate whatever you have achieved so far and stop comparing your life with others’.
- Recognize your physical and emotional needs and attend to them. Self-care is the highest form of compassion. It makes you feel good about yourself.
- Sometimes, you may struggle expressing yourself openly. This may cause a lot of struggle. You must learn to express your feelings openly. Simply tell how you feel to a friend or close family member. When you verbalize your deepest feelings, you are actually giving a vent to your pent-up tensions and bottled up emotions.
- You can also try out creative hobbies to self-express lucidly.
- Practice meditation to calm down and relax.
- Stop rushing with things. You can practice doing things slowly and patiently.
- If stress seems to break down your coping skills and you feel more uncomfortable than usual, you may visit a psychotherapist or doctor to avail needful assistance.
Famous persons with Enneagram 3
There are many celebrity public figures who might be sharing the same Enneagram type 3 personality with you. Are you interested to know the names of some of them?
Interestingly, these people have left an impression on this world by their big achievements and probably some small failures.
Some of the famous people who are enneagram type 3 are as follows:
- George Washington, U.S president
- Oprah Winfrey, American host, author
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, actor turned politician
- Will Smith, actor
- Elvis Presley, singer
- Michael Jordan, basketball player
- Madonna, singer
- Lady Gaga, singer
- Taylor Swift, song writer
- Tony Robbins, author and philanthropist
- Tom Cruise, actor
- Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex
- Muhammad Ali, boxer
- Beyoncé Knowles, singer
- Reese Witherspoon, actress
- Kacey Musgrave, song writer
- Cindy Crawford, American model
What enneagram 3s hate?
When it comes to your likes and dislikes, your Enneagram type can say a lot of things about you. Enneagram type 3s are serious people. They hate nonsense stuff altogether and cannot blend well with people who are easygoing and too casual.
Most often, type 3s stay cool and composed. They push down their hatred and anger and try to keep balance in the relationship. These people usually hold uptight control over those situations that challenge their emotional well-being.
Certain things that fives would hate to do are:
- Enneagram 3s would have to have an ordinary life devoid of recognition and excellence.
- People who are less ambitious and waste their valuable time may not be liked by an enneagram type 3.
- People with an enneagram 3 personality get restless with negativity and pessimism.
- Lack of ambition, no goal-orientation in life may make them edgy.
- They hate failure and never want to be a loser in life.
- Threes are emotionally overwhelmed if they are restricted by someone to accomplish their goals.
- They dislike people who do not have a purpose or vision in life.
- These individuals do not prefer a casual outlook towards life. They need to be surrounded with seriousness and success, otherwise they feel ordinary and unimportant.
- If they fail to attain financial security and have a safe future, they may not like it.
- Enneagram 3s need to keep up with their to-do list always. They hate to keep things aside for some other best time.
- Inefficiency and lack of hard work may make them restless.
- They hate being dismissed for their opinions and proposals.
- Enneagram type 3s cannot relate with the deepest feelings of others as they think it’s a mere waste of time and energy. They are driven by power, excellence, and success. Emotional show=offs makes them uncomfortable.
Hobbies of enneagram 3
Enneagram 3s use their downtime wisely. They are the serious types who engage in activities that can help them learn new skills and sharpen the existing ones.
For them, leisure activities should be stimulating and interesting. It should help them flaunt their talents in different ways. Type threes are success-oriented and extroverted.
They do things to leave an impression on the world around them.
They are motivated to be the best in whatever they do. Thus, they choose hobbies that are challenging, thought-provoking, and allow for achievement and excellence.
Some of the best-suited hobbies or kinds of activities that achievers may love doing are:
- Working out in the gym
- Hanging out with friends
- Cleaning and decorating the house
- Surfing the internet and acquiring knowledge and facts about unknown things
- Joining a Quiz club
- Playing a musical instrument
- Going for hiking and trekking
How rare are the enneagram 3s?
Enneagram 3s is the go-getter, less emotional type. People with these personality types are complex and hard to pin down.
They are highly energetic and are driven by success and accomplishments. Failure is something they cannot live by and thus can do anything to avoid it.
Being an image-conscious personality, threes are status-oriented and have refined tastes. They need to win and earn social respect and recognition.
Enneagram 3s are commonly found and are easy to be recognized because of their outgoing and extrovert qualities.
They comprise 11% of the population out of which 10% are women and 12% are men. These estimated percentages are based on an enneagram sample survey conducted by Truity.com
Growth tips for enneagram 3s (How do you grow better)
The concept of personal growth and improving oneself focuses on developing one’s talents and existing skills, learning new ones, sharpening their intellect, and improving networking skills.
Being a goal-oriented type, enneagram 3s can offer a lot to this world. They will achieve success in whatever they do.
This continuous need to safeguard their confident self-image from external threats can overwhelm them without realizing it.
Sometimes enneagram type 3s should slow down and take things easy. They should realize the fact that excellence and achievement cannot give happiness and peace of mind.
They may try to project a positive image to the world, though deep down they are unhappy and stressed out.
Some of the self-help skills that can foster personal growth and eliminate your deepest agonies, uncertainty, self-doubt, and wobbly feeling are listed below:
1. Self-realization is the key
Being a three, you always strive for perfection and excellence. But you need to realize that you have much more in you than your achievements.
Your self-worth and value are never judged by external validation. People will always love you for the right reasons. Stop seeking validation only by showing what you can do and achieve. Sometimes, failures can teach you many life lessons worth remembering.
Learn to embrace your true self and work on your broken self-esteem. You should start practicing a thorough process of self-realization that will enable you to acknowledge your strengths and blind spots equally well.
2. Compete with yourself
You should learn to compete with yourself and not with others. When you do so, you will be able to know your weak areas and work on them. Improvise your existing skills and add more every day.
You need to better yourself each day by the process of self-improvement. Stop comparing yourself with others because you’ll always have better and more successful people than you. It will just make you lose your confidence and lower your worth.
3. Build authentic relationships
Learn to build genuine and authentic human connections. Relate with people who will love you unconditionally.
True happiness is not about accomplishments and success. It is about people who care for you, love and support you in trying times.
If you know that you will be loved for whoever you are, your confidence will boost up. At the same time, you’ll also learn to acknowledge the not-so-good parts of ‘you’.
4. Never be too harsh on yourself
Stop perfecting yourself every now and then. Start enjoying the simple pleasures of life. If you do not excel in certain aspects of your life, just take it easy and relax.
There is no need to push yourself too hard all the time. Just chill and enjoy doing things that can relax your overburdened mind.
5. You need to be present in your moments
Being an enneagram type 3, you are always concerned about past performances and future successes. Thus, you miss out on the precious moments of your life.
You need to live your moments by staying present in them. It will help you to be more aware of your surroundings. For this, you can practice mindfulness like yoga and meditation.
These relaxation exercises can help you slow down and embrace your true feelings. It will lower your need to win. You will be taught to be more focused on simple things that are truly loving and happy.
Enneagram personality tests
The Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator, usually referred to as the RHETI version 2.5, is the best and popularly used enneagram personality test used worldwide.
This test is a forced-choice technique that is easy to use. The test has 144 paired statements that are empirically tested and validated through scientific research and progress.
The RHETI enneagram type indicator was developed by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson in 1993. The test gives you the primary enneagram number and describes your personality profile in detail, referring to the wings and subtypes.
The personality test also highlights your relative association with all the nine personality types shown in the enneagram model.
If you wish to know your core enneagram number, you may take the test here.
The video link shared below shows the various signs of an enneagram 3. Do check out.
Parting words from ‘ThePleasantPersonality’
Enneagram type 3s have their identity attached with success and accomplishments. They would hate to live like the mediocre.
These image-conscious people never want to taste failure because it makes them feel inferior and subservient to others.
Being a goal-oriented and confident type, enneagram 3s lives with a purpose and vision. They can thrive under competitive work environments and are able leaders. Moreover, these people do everything with precision and perfection.
Sometimes, it may look like that they can never be wrong. They are just excellent with everything and anything.
However, this constant need to perform and achieve can be exhausting and tiring at times. Threes should know how to put their guards down and be happy with whatever they have achieved.
They should learn to handle failures, if any, without getting stressed out and restless.
After all, real happiness can be achieved with inner peace and joy, not with tangible goals and high-end success stories written on the backdrop of inner turmoil and deep-seated insecurities.
“The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.”Arnold Schwarzenegger
Chandrani is a former school psychologist and teacher by profession. She is a post graduate in Applied psychology with focus in clinical and health domains. Her passion for writing, kindled during school days have now become a full time freelancing endeavor. For her, writing is cathartic and keeps her mentally agile. Her lovable niches includes psychology, parenting, spirituality, lifestyle, and love and relationships. Her work depicts her perspectives about various experiences that she came across; unleashed a richer and deeper meaning of life. "Let me leave an aftertaste in the minds of few, if not many who need to find a path of absolute bliss, happiness, and inner peace."