- Enneagram 9s are steady, easygoing, friendly, and adaptable.
- Enneagram 9s prefer to keep life comfortable and familiar.
- They maintain harmony, structure, and routine to make life predictable.
- Too many competing demands on their attention can take a toll on their mental agility.
- They may get angry and defensive if not treated fairly or being forced to face a dispute.
Are you the one who always avoids confrontations at all costs? Do you think maintaining peace in and around you is your ultimate strength?
Do you believe that human beings can just get along well with each other, only if they remain poised and serene under extreme circumstances? If yes, then you could be an Enneagram 9.
Armed with logic and complacency, you always strive to maintain peace and harmony around you. You are the one who avoids quarrels and disputes either way. People see you as a gentle, relaxed, and peace-loving person.
Most of the time, you display introverted qualities and try to keep yourself away from the spotlight. However, even if you are social in certain circumstances, you keep a part of yourself in absolute silence.
Most nines keep themselves away from the chaos and mayhem of society. They are tolerant, likable, yet remain reserved and quiet always. As if they get busy tuning in with others around them, just to avoid what they hate.
In doing so, the ‘nine’ lose touch with their own ‘self’. They get busy pleasing others and forget about their desires and dreams.
They just want to create stability, serenity, and harmony around them. In this article, we will delve deeper into their inner worlds and see how it looks.
Enneagram 9 Personality Infographics
Enneagram 9 – meaning and personality description
Enneagram 9 are peace-loving, friendly, agreeable, and can easily adapt themselves to changing circumstances. These people are easy-going and trustworthy. As they are focused on people and surroundings, they always try to maintain peace and harmony around them. Being fearful of conflict and chaos, they thrive well in a calm and amicable environment.
People with enneagram 9 as their major personality type believe in unconditional love, union, and harmony. They are nicknamed the ‘peacemakers’ because of their intrinsic need to merge with others and bring comfort to themselves and their surroundings.
These individuals are sensitive to others and try to please them even if it brings discomfort to them. They readily attend to others’ requests, agendas, and demands.
Nines are regarded as stable, trusting, and adaptable. They prefer to keep life comfortable and familiar. Enneagram 9s never like to be in conflict. Maintaining harmony, structure, and routine to make life predictable and known are their core need areas.
They never do anything that may take away their inner sense of control and self-efficacy. Armed with optimism and creativity, these individuals want everything in life to move on smoothly. They prefer to minimize conflicts, avoid upsetting situations, and simplify the problems as much as possible to keep inner peace intact.
They always look into creating a harmonious environment that is optimistic, caring, and free from confrontations. The peacemaker seeks spiritual growth.
This means they yearn to blend with the powers of the Cosmos. In doing so, enneagram 9s happily blend with the whims and wishes of others and can be seen to behave like a people pleaser.
For them, inner peace is directly dependent on the serenity that prevails around them. As nines are typically grounded and reality-oriented, they live in their moments. This makes them aware of what’s happening around their physical world.
Enneagram nines retreat inside a peaceful world whenever they come across chaotic and messy situations in life. They prefer to agree and calm down when situations seem to go uncontrolled.
People with enneagram 9 move with the flow of life. They are relaxed and easygoing and dislike being controlled. If pushed too much, they may become anxious and respond with passive resistance rather than direct squabbling.
To sum up, enneagram 9s are known as the crown of the ‘enneagram model’ because they are positioned at the top of the symbol and seem to contain the whole of it. This is the reason that nines have a very strong sense of ‘self-identity that sometimes become stubborn and bull-headed.
What can you expect if you are an Enneagram 9?
If you’re an enneagram 9, you must be like this –
Being nine means that you are in love with poise and harmony within you and outside of you. It means you are driven by a need to create an inner space of absolute silence that is in tune with outside peace. You are the one who is calm and composed, rational and idealistic, self-controlled and disciplined.
Though you are accommodating and can accept and adjust to new changes, you want these to happen in order. You do not prefer haphazard things because it makes you feel uncontrolled and purposeless.
You are easy to get along with others because you are receptive to their needs. Being an open-minded person, you can go to great lengths to blend yourself to others’ needs and aspirations, ignoring yours’.
Being an enneagram 9, you can understand multiple perspectives. You will remain open to what others have to offer on the table. You can accept differences and synthesize them into a complete whole. You’re the ultimate mediator.
You will always do things calmly by understanding the rhythm that defines serenity. Being an understanding person, you will show patience in just everything. You will try to analyze situations as they appear. Thus, others may find you supportive and empathetic.
Nines prefer to live in harmony. Thus, you will prefer to remain poised and integrated amidst the chaos. You believe in the fact that the world would be a better place to live if humans know how to respect each other’s space and sense of security.
Being motivated to avail a settled life for yourself and others, you can become the peace-loving trendsetter of the community.
Your strong sense of right and wrong and a vision for sustainable development for all related to you can bring desirable changes and consonance that life actually deserves.
Enneagram 9 traits (adjectives that describes you)
The major psychological traits that guide the behavior of enneagram 9s are:
- seeks comfort
- easy going
- believes in shared experiences
- conflict avoidant
- resistant if someone tries to control your behavior
- people-pleasing tendencies
- unclear about own position and role
Enneagram 9 – thinking pattern
Enneagram 9 always seeks peace. Their thought processes revolve around the fact that no matter what happens, they are not supposed to show aggression and resentments as it can hamper peace of mind.
Since conflicts are a big no for them, they will do anything to maintain order and structure around them. People with this personality prefer coherence. They can organize large volumes of information in a systematic way and can also see through the details.
Most of the time, nines are hard-headed. Sometimes they may overthink and become indecisive. They are the ones who never acknowledge their blind spots easily. As such their perspective about life is hazy, foggy, and unclear.
Enneagram 9 prefers to stay aloof with their thoughts. They will not share everything with others, until and unless it is extremely necessary. Their thoughts reflect their intrinsic need to be in tune with the world around them.
They think logically and try to make their inner worlds more comfortable and less threatening.
Enneagram 9 –Feeling pattern
Enneagram 9s have intense feelings but they appear calm and composed from the outside. They never show their actual feelings to others and appear even-tempered, relaxed, and easy-going always.
Their intense feelings whether it is love, anger, fear are kept within. Thus others see them as approachable and a kind person.
Nines prefer harmony and they experience negative emotions in mild to moderate frequencies. They keep a safe distance from their own anger. This also makes them good mediators.
Enneagram nines can resolve issues peacefully. While dealing with intense situations, they show patience and can feel at peace with themselves.
When they get upset due to some reason, they make sure to ease out their primitive emotion that is anger. Anger makes them uncomfortable and makes them emotionally drained out.
If someone treats them as unimportant, they may feel angry. They may get stressed when forced into facing conflict and making decisions.
The anger response is manifested through passive-aggression, resistance, stubbornness. Occasional ‘boiling over’ or explosions may happen as well.
People with enneagram 9 merge with the feelings of others, just to make themselves emotionally comfortable.
As already discussed, nines are conflict aversive. They can go to any length to maintain their inner peace at all costs, even to the point of pleasing others.
If they feel happy and elated, they will radiate warmth and positivity. Similarly, they will quickly notice if someone around them is feeling down.
Enneagram 9 – Action pattern
Enneagram 9 tries to control their immediate environment by not allowing others or the situation to control and overwhelm them emotionally.
Usually, they remain passive and unmoved in trying times. Nothing can disturb or annoy their sense of stability and peace. These individuals prefer routine and structure.
They act well in an organized setup that is predictable. It gives them an inner sense of control.
Nines prefer to act in peace and for peace. They avoid squabbling and confrontations for a good purpose. They are motivated by harmonious living and can do anything to make it happen.
As enneagram nines feel connected to others, they may also take up the habits, hobbies, interests, and even feelings of others.
10 Signs of Enneagram 9 personality type
Being an enneagram type 9, you will always strive to maintain silence in and around you. Your deepest fears of being disconnected from others and not in sync with what’s going around can make you stressed out in no time.
For you, emotional security is dependent on inner control and outer balance. They strive to match themselves well with others, so as to protect their internal state of control and keep it as it is. People with enneagram 9 personality traits are driven by a need to rest their minds in peace, as always.
Psychologically, nines are bold, independent, and trust their intuition. They move away from pain and seek pleasure that is peaceful and calm.
Being a member of the instinctual triad (sharing the space with enneagrams 1 and 8), nines are receptive and well-tuned with their environment.
These people perceive information and use their instinctual powers to make necessary decisions in life. They use their instincts because it always tells the truth.
During adverse life situations, enneagram 9s shows their ability to fine-tune their thoughts and feelings with others. They hate doing anything that can damage their composure and mental tranquility.
People with enneagram 9 desire to remain comfortable always, avoiding conflict and seeking harmony. Sometimes things can get really bad for them when they do not know when things are really getting sour and when they need to intervene.
Sometimes nines deny the presence of problems in their life. They may avoid, reject, or minimize the intensity of the problem the way they want. In doing so, they may not realize that their inner resources are fast depleting and making them weaker from within.
If you are someone who prefers to sip a cup of coffee and listen to the silence around you, or if you allow others to do whatever they want, only to remain peaceful forever; be sure you’re an enneagram 9.
1. Enneagram 9s wants to be comfortable
Nines prefer to be in emotional comfort always. They try to avoid things that disturb their inner state of wellness. Things like conflicts and fights with others, squabbling, disagreements, or differences of opinions that can get heated up soon are not for the serene nines. These individuals are peaceful and want harmony around them.
2. They do not care when others do things that they do not like
People with enneagram 9 type are carefree, easy-going and relaxed. Even if they are not liking anything going on around them, they will not say or do anything. Rather they would try to avoid the situation and move away from it.
Sometimes they will not consider the situation as damaging because they are self-controlled and know how to handle them in the right way.
If they tell you that they do not care what you are doing, they really mean it. If others are happy, they are happy too. At all costs, these individuals try to maintain harmony and inner peace amidst all the chaos that may take rounds all over.
3. Nines may need long naps and brewed coffee to energize themselves
Enneagram Nines are slow coaches. They are known for their laid-back attitude. These individuals live life at the moment. They just move with the flow and take things as they come.
People often think of nines as lazy, slow, and unproductive. They are less energetic and lack leadership qualities and effectiveness.
Thus, they may seem to take long naps or brew coffee quite often just to energize themselves. They need constant stimulation to keep going.
4. You appear shy to others
You may appear shy and inhibited in front of others. This happens because you listen more than you talk. Most of the time, you will tune yourself with others’ opinions and views, just to be in harmony. Others may think you are reserved and reticent, though you’re not.
You are the one who will share opinions only when needed. Being a good listener and talking only when needed doesn’t mean that you are coy.
5. Stressful situations can cause immense discomfort
Enneagram nines can get emotionally overwhelmed in trying times. Being a peaceful and quiet individual, you may not handle stress easily. You may either retreat into a quiet space or find an immediate solution to the problem.
The emotional discomfort that accompanies any stressful life event may overwhelm you because you never want to get into conflicts.
You are motivated to maintain peace within yourself and outside of yourself. If you lose this sync, you may appear vulnerable and insecure.
6. You’re a good listener
Being a patient and forbearing individual, you will always listen to what others have to say. You will listen to their opinions and viewpoints, complaints, and issues.
This quality makes you a friendly and compassionate person. Others know that if they come to you, they will be heard and never be ignored.
Sometimes you may not offer solutions to their problems or give advice on an issue, but lending a patient ear to someone who needs to be heard is a sign of compassion and trust.
7. Gentle and mellow
Enneagram nines are soft-spoken, gentle, patient, and calm. They usually have a mellow voice and soothing demeanor.
Their collected nature makes them likable people. Being a tender and lenient individual, you will be an excellent mediator.
You will try to maintain calmness and serenity even during the toughest of circumstances. You will never lose your cool.
Sometimes, nines may work behind the scenes to keep the situation under control. In doing so, they may please others and move with the flow of life. They can see various sides of the issue clearly and never jump to conclusions that they may repent later.
8. Nines can mitigate conflicts easily
Enneagram nines are peace-loving and possess a calm demeanor. Their primary motive is to maintain poise and harmony. They can diffuse conflicts easily by adapting and accepting others’ points of view. In most circumstances, they do not contradict and neutralize tension with ease.
9. Nines hate being controlled
Enneagram 9s are autonomous and independent beings. They hate being controlled or advised by others.
Nines may listen to all but will take the ultimate decision based on what they think and feel to be right.
They may not rebel or show their anger when someone tries to micromanage them but it’s obvious that they do not like it at all. Enneagram Nines are firm and bold from within.
They are guided by a strong sense of right and wrong. Just because they prefer peace and harmony doesn’t mean they are weak and cannot decide for themselves.
Nines are slow decision-makers but whenever they decide on something, it happens to be the best. Thus, there is actually no need to control them. Sometimes, they know the best deal.
10. Nines are always forgiving
People with enneagram 9 as their major personality type are forgiving. They never harbor grudges or resentments against anyone. Nicknamed as a ‘peacemaker’ or a ‘mediator’, they believe in solving issues with others peacefully. Nothing can rob their sense of control and serenity.
They forgive people who sin against them because it makes them emotionally controlled. For enneagram 9s, Forgiveness is a blessing in disguise.
It doesn’t mean forgetting what the other person has done to them. It means tolerating the hurt and letting go of negative emotions associated with the occurrence.
Nines can do anything to restore peace and the best way to do it is by not showing vengeance and anger. For them, forgiving is an inner strength that helps them restore the balance and stability that they cherish the most in their life.
Enneagram 9 core motivations
The core motivations of enneagram 9 are those functional traits that determine their specific Enneagram type. It actually tells why nines actually behave the way they do, what drives them to act and take decisions in certain ways and not others.
The core motivation explains why individuals or specific personality types initiate, continue, and terminate the action or behavior for a particular time only.
Each of the enneagram types has core motivations that are divided into
- Core desires
- Core fears
Each of these two has a specific role to play in shaping the personality dynamics of enneagram 9. Technically speaking, both these desire and fear elements are connected and go hand in hand.
Thus, if you desire to behave in certain ways, it means you just want to avoid doing something else. And why do you avoid it? Just because you fear the action will make you uncomfortable.
Your personality traits do not determine your Enneagram type. Rather the core motivations make you think, feel, and act in ways that you do.
The enneagram test does not tell you the surface-level traits or characteristics alone. It actually goes deeper into the underlying processes that make up your overall personality type.
For enneagram 9, the core desires are:
- You always prefer peace above anything
- Likes to live in harmony with everyone
- Stay connected with all others
- Never wants to fall in troubles and difficulties
- Prefers easy going, relaxed, and uninterrupted lifestyle
- Create comfort and equilibrium around you and within you
- Being an enneagram nine, you wish to have a perfect world, though in reality it is not possible
- You long to hear that you’re important and your voice and opinions matter in someone else’s life.
- Nines are conflict avoidant
- They don’t want to deal with negative emotions
- Enneagram nines prefer to keep things intact, preserving what keeps their inner peace and harmony.
The core or basic fears of enneagram 9s are as follows:
- Enneagram 9s fear being left out and secluded
- They fear criticisms
- Nines are needy of affection of love and approval. They fear rejections
- Enneagram nines fear disagreements and conflicts. They always want to be loved and cared for.
- The fear of being overlooked and not attended, appreciated in social setups
- Discord and tension, both internal and external, hurts them badly and they want to avoid them at all costs.
Core values of enneagram 9
Enneagram 9s are intelligent, thoughtful, amicable, and well-adjustable. They are guided by some core values. Some of them are discussed below:
- Peacemakers are harmonious and friendly. They are guided by kindness, humility, and unity. They act as community builders who can bring peace and serenity around them. Enneagram 9s act as well-wishers for their family, friends, and colleagues.
- Enneagram 9s want to be accepted and appreciated. They are guided by positive emotions of love and acceptance. They hate being not noticed or ignored. People with this personality type want reassurance and acknowledgement from others.
- Another core value of enneagram nine is forgiveness. They prefer to forget disagreements and conflicts and forgive others. Nines never harbor resentments as it makes them uncomfortable and robs their inner peace.
- Enneagram 9s are driven by a core value of inner balance. Nines know how to stay calm and composed in trying times. This inner balance tuned with peace around them makes up their ideal lifestyle.
- Nines wants to remain adaptable and compliant. They will always go out of their comfort space and merge with others, so as to keep others happy.
- Peacemakers are tolerant. They like to hear everyone. Moreover they accept individual differences quite well. They can bring people and communities together.
- Enneagram nines are guided by consistency. They prefer organization and stability.
- They always want to feel safe, protected, and supported by others.
- Enneagram 9s are determined to resolve issues at all costs.
- Peacemakers seek a stable world where everyone is well-connected and lives in absolute peace and accord.
Healthy and unhealthy behavior patterns of enneagram 9
The Enneagram model of personality development describes the nine interconnected types that are somehow dependent on each other. Your primary enneagram number describes your core motivations and values that make you the way you are.
Each of the nine personality types has a healthy and an unhealthy aspect. These aspects will manifest themselves and come onto the surface according to changing circumstances and the person’s ability to cope up with the demands of the situation.
This is the reason why two people having the same enneagram number may not behave similarly. Even the same person can change themselves depending upon the life situation they are in.
However, during times of stress, you may start to behave differently and act like some other type. This means that your psychological health gets disturbed under stressful life circumstances. This makes you an unhealthy enneagram. During trying times, enneagram 9 may disintegrate and behave like enneagram 6.
The healthy enneagram is an optimal level of functioning when you are displaying behavior that is in tune with your unique enneagram number. In this way, you get into a growth state where you may look like an enneagram 3.
Now, let us see the core characteristics of a healthy nine and an unhealthy nine.
Healthy enneagram 9s
The healthy nine feel autonomous and self-fulfilled. They are deeply accepting of others, and can adapt as and when the situation demands.
People with nine healthy traits are emotionally stable, poised, and avoid conflict. They can reassure and support others in need. Healthy nines display a calming influence on others. These people are optimistic, lively, and feel closely connected to themselves and others.
Their supporting and reassuring qualities can bring people together. They can bring harmony and happiness all around them.
Signs of healthy nine
A healthy enneagram 9 looks like this:
- Can say no to things and can stick to what they believe to be true
- They can let go of their need for external validation. Here, they learn to embrace the way they are.
- A healthy nine is peaceful, self-aware, and guiltless.
- They are forgiving and helpful.
- Healthy nine knows that their contributions in the world do matter.
- They will become more self-dependent and contemplative.
- Healthy nine has a natural tendency to diffuse conflict.
- A healthy peace maker is self-actualized and knows how to fulfill their long term goals.
- They are patient and good listeners.
- Healthy 9s look imaginative and can comfort those in need.
- They have healing qualities and touch the lives of others in positive ways. They radiate calmness and solve internal conflicts and external squabbling in the best possible way.
Unhealthy enneagram 9
Unhealthy nines can actually block out their problems and avoid it completely. They live in an illusion that everything is fine and there is no problem at all. During times of stress, enneagram nine can become willfully blind towards their problems.
They may feel inadequate and powerless to control the situation. It would be good to say that these people actually become stubborn and obstinate. They may dissociate themselves from all conflicts and issues and try their best to restore peace deep within.
This behavior is actually unhealthy because it numbs their true feelings and makes them shut down or withdraw from social interactions completely.
Signs of unhealthy nine
An unhealthy enneagram 9 looks like this:
- They try to block out from each and every disturbing situation. Tries to isolate and withdraw as much as possible.
- Feels incapable and unworthy of themselves. They may think they cannot deal with the situation.
- An unhealthy enneagram 9 displays emotional numbness, carefree, and disoriented.
- They may show signs of being irresponsible, helpless, and resigned.
- Low energy levels with a feeling of dissociation.
- They may become slow, lethargic, and sluggish. Focus may hamper due to low attention span.
- Peacemakers may also become self-critical and blame themselves for not being able to control the situation.
- Unhealthy enneagram 9 may become emotionally exhausted.
- May not set personal goals
- Procrastination may set in due to lack of focus and unclear life goals.
- Passive aggression and burnout becomes obvious in this stage.
Average enneagram 9
The average 9 behaves at an optimal level of balance and stability. They prefer to relate with people who need their help. As they fear conflicts and confrontations, they will try to sync with others as much as possible so that they do not suffer any rejection.
Signs of average enneagram 9
If you are an average enneagram 9, you will be like this:
- Accommodating and moving on with the wishes and whims of others. Prefers to become a people pleaser.
- They may say ‘yes’ to situations that they really do not want to. The main motive is to avoid discord and fights with others.
- Prefers to follow conventional routine and never contradicts anything or anyone around them.
- May become disengaged and inattentive.
- Remains aloof in social circles prefers to remain unresponsive.
- Thought processes may become unclear, hazy, and indifferent.
- Feelings may start to overwhelm their state of inner well-being.
- They may show signs of rigidity and stubbornness, as if nothing can change their present state of existence.
- An average enneagram 9 may get into wishful thinking, an easy solution to problems that are magical and unexpected.
- They may procrastinate and remain unresponsive to such a point where others around them may feel extremely frustrated and irritable.
- Average nine wants to remain ever comfortable, so they retreat in a private space of absolute silence and bliss.
Enneagram 9 wings
Before we start describing the details of enneagram 9 wings, first let us know what ‘wings’ actually mean. The ‘wings’ refers to the enhancement of one’s primary personality number. It means that your unique personality number can actually have two other variations in the enneagram symbol.
Each of the core enneagram numbers has two wings that are placed directly on either side of your primary Enneagram type. Though the core enneagram type dominates your overall functioning, the wings actually add, complement, or contradict important aspects of the main type.
Easy to say that wings are the second side of your main Enneagram type. It means that human beings may change according to situations and circumstances. Personality is dynamic and everyone does something or the other to improvise their skills and coping strategies.
For enneagram 9, wings are 9w1 and 9w8, because both enneagram 1 and enneagram 8 fall on either side of the peacemakers. Together they form the gut triad or instinctive triad where the dominant emotion is anger and the types display their instinctive ability either to express, control, or avoid anger responses altogether.
Enneagram 9 wing 1 characteristics
People with enneagram 9 wing 1 is a type 9 who has many similar qualities that of one. They are idealists, serious types than most other nines. Moreover, 9w1 types are friendly and amicable. Being modest and diligent, enneagram 9w1 can work as a nurse, doctor, religious leader, motivational speaker, etc.
- 9w1 types are fearful of being ignored or separated from others.
- They hate losing things that matter the most in their lives.
- Usually very serious in nature and ‘no nonsense type’
- They are value driven and loves traditions and planning
- Seeks routine lifestyle and feels unsafe if asked to become flexible and change their innate nature. They may feel threatened and unprotected in times of conflict and stress.
- Fears misfortune and sudden changes
- Feels threatened by their own anger or rage responses, thus tries to maintain peace at all times.
- They are optimistic.
- They are easy going, pleasant, and always relaxed.
- 9w1s are objective and can understand different points of view.
Enneagram 9 wing 8 characteristics
People with enneagram 9 wing 8 tend to have all the dominant personality traits of number 9 yet they share many qualities of enneagram 8 as well. These individuals are more assertive, dominant, and bold than most nines. Sometimes, type 9w8 displays qualities that predominate the ‘angry’ eights.
- 9w8 are not aggressive but they are very assertive just as an eight. They establish their point of view at all costs by not becoming angry but by being firm and sticking to what they think and feel to be right.
- They are afraid of being left out and thus avoid conflict somehow.
- These individuals seek internal balance. They want to be at peace with themselves and the world.
- Always prefers to remain sociable and adaptable.
- They want others to validate their self-worth.
- 9w8 are flexible and open-minded. They do not resist change and can easily adapt new ideas and face challenges.
- They prefer to follow the same routine to avoid problems and disagreements.
- Most of the 9w8 are stubborn and blunt.
- They can express their anger better than the general type 9 and 09w1.
- They try to minimize emotional issues in life because they feel uncontrolled and vulnerable to deal with such overwhelming situations.
Enneagram 9 subtypes
In the enneagram model of personality typing, subtypes are the instinctual variants of your core enneagram number.
The subtype is formed by your main enneagram number and your instinct. Instincts are the basic propensity to think, feel, and act in certain ways in your daily life.
They are body-based primal tendencies that are always present in every human being.
All the 9 enneagram types have three instinctive tendencies that determine how you’re wired or tuned to behave in specific situations. The three instinctual subtypes for all enneagram types are:
- Self-preservation (SP)
- Social (SO)
- Sexual or one-to one (SX)
Now let’s analyze how enneagram nines are wired towards these instinctual tendencies.
- Self-preservation – This subtype of nine is concerned with meeting their physical needs. They like eating, fulfilling their basic needs such as hunger, maintaining health, etc. The primary motive is to avoid pain and seek pleasure by creating a balance and peace around them. The self-preservation instinct manifests itself by being stubborn and numb, when conflicts arise or problems seem to surface in their life.
- Social – Social nines are friendly and thrive well in social setups. These people are easy to mingle with and can make many friends. They are helpful and can take the burden of others onto them. They will always work hard to keep everyone happy and peaceful.
- One-to-one – This subtype always fuses with the wishes of others. They feel secure when they relate with others deeply and may feel vulnerable and insecure if asked to do anything on their own. Nines prefer to sync with the needs and wishes of others, often neglecting their own needs and desires. They feel happy only when they can keep others happy.
Enneagram 9 relationships
So far, we have discussed different aspects of the Enneagram 9 personality type and got a fair understanding of what this personality possesses. Now it is time to see how they maintain and deal with various kinds of relationships.
An Enneagram 9 as a partner or spouse
An Enneagram 9 person is a peaceful, reassuring, and accepting partner who adds a very gentle presence to the relationship. They see all kinds of possible perspectives in a particular situation. These individuals are warm, affectionate, and possess a harmonious aura within them.
Enneagram 9s have a tremendous level of patience, and they make their partners feel acknowledged in their relationship. They focus on maintaining peace and easing out any tension through empathy.
People of this personality type look for unwavering patience, along with the confidence to help them unravel their assertive nature and grow. As patience is one of Enneagram 9’s strong qualities, they look for similar qualities in their partners.
It would help them amplify their inner voice that remains suppressed and get it ready to stand up for what they believe. When there is conflict and uncertainty, Enneagram 9 personality type spouses look for a partner who would give them a patient hearing and then provide sound advice.
Other than these, you would secretly want to have thrilling love and affection in the relationship with your spouse that can stand the test of time. Even though it might seem to be contradictory, these variations allow the Enneagram 9s to embark on the path of true love.
Moreover, an Enneagram 9 as a partner or spouse secretly wishes to have specific things from their love life. They want emotional and physical warmth. It would be ideal if their partners become patient and offer comfort during turbulent times.
A spouse of the Enneagram 9 person would look for recommendations in different activities and hobbies from their partners. They also seek generosity and self-assurance.
If any individual wants to become a husband or a wife of an Enneagram 9, they must hear out their partner and acknowledge them from time to time. Taking care of these aspects can help them develop a bond and make the relationship flourish.
An Enneagram 9 as a friend
As a friend, Enneagram loves peace and gives others the freedom they need to be themselves without passing any judgment. These personality type people need to be friends with those people who accept them for who they are. Enneagram 9s would hate those who use them for their compassionate nature and can never be friends.
All those individuals who wish to be friends with Enneagram 9s should ensure that they appreciate them for their patience, kindness, and gentle nature. It is also imperative for friends to encourage the Nine to stand up for what they need.
They need friends who would encourage them to be bold in airing their grievances, express their desires, and help prioritize them. For these personality type people, their friends must show concern about how they are feeling or what their thoughts are.
Nines stay away from conflict. For them, it is necessary to keep the environment harmonious. Anyone willing to forge a long-term friendship with an Enneagram type nine individual should make sure that they do not start unwanted arguments around them.
Moreover, friendship with an Enneagram 9 would thrive if people respect their idealistic opinions and viewpoints. Individuals must be kind to Enneagram 9s. They also need to show kindness to others on all occasions.
Good friends of Enneagram 9s are those who happen to be good listeners. You must have the ability to listen to their thoughts and ideas. They must understand that it might take some time to make decisions and hence stay patient. Even if they have to criticize an Enneagram 9, they should do it gently.
An Enneagram 9 as a parent
As a parent, Enneagram 9s is warm, non-judgmental, and gentle towards their children. They give them complete security and acceptance. Due to their patient and easy-going nature, they yearn to maintain harmony.
Enneagram 9 parents bring a strong sense of calmness and empathy while dealing with their children. These individuals are natural peacemakers as they manage to sympathize with different points of view. They make sure that others respect and hear out their kids.
If an Enneagram 9 parent feels stressed, they are good enough to manage that stress by withdrawing their dreams, feelings, and desires. These individuals avoid conflict by going with the flow of any situation.
These individuals are receptive and understand the needs and demands of their children. Enneagram 9 parents can show deep empathy with the world that their children live in. When these parents face problems, they deal with them through humor and creative thinking.
They allow their children the freedom to be who they are. So, the 9s children always feel fully supported and understood. These parents are the typical peacemakers. Thus, they manage to take a counselor’s role for every member in the house.
As parents, Enneagram 9s must remember that their children require a proper routine and boundaries to develop them, along with the requisite freedom to understand who they are.
Enneagram 9 Compatibility with Other Types
There are nine different types of Enneagrams, with each having distinct characteristics and traits. Let us see through a chart to understand how these nine types stack up when paired with Enneagram 9.
|Enneagram Types||When Paired With 9|
|Both these individuals take great pleasure in loving others in the community and giving generously to each other. The basis of the relationship is grace and acceptance. |
Neither one nor nine try to correct each other. These individuals do not tend to be passive-aggressive as well.
|This pairing is easy and endearing. Both partners are highly considerate when it comes to giving one another in covert ways. |
They create an environment of warmth with love and care for their family, children, and friends.
|Enneagram 3||When an Enneagram three individuals pairs up with an Enneagram nine, they develop the rare ability to get involved in projects of intense passion. Moreover, these people show tremendous love for style and culture. |
They possess the desire for relaxation and fun in a practical manner. The two individuals balance one another with the Nine looking for peace and prefer taking things slow. On the other hand, the Three frequently troubleshoot with their focus on solving issues quickly.
|This relationship exemplifies the Four’s idealistic nature along with the practical and relaxing qualities of Nine. |
They help complement one another using their unique characteristics and make this couple ideally suited to build a beautiful life together. They take time both in their pursuits of work and leisure.
|When an Enneagram five personality pairs up with nine, it offers the mutual understanding to develop the right kind of chemistry and connection. |
As their relationship grows, the Five showcase their basic desire to research and scrutinize, while the Nine looks for security, comfort, and to get looked after and loved.
|Enneagram six with nine tend to have several things in common between them. Both love chilling out at home. They follow a strict routine and complete their work on time so that they can rest and unwind. |
Type Six gives Type Nine the courage to find their actual voice in the world, whereas Type Nine brings forth relaxation to the frequently neurotic Six.
|Enneagram7||When an Enneagram Seven pairs up with Nine, the two individuals understand the importance of fun and rest. The pair turns out to be one of the most playful combinations as Type Nine manages to get rid of Type Seven’s anxiety and resolves to stay beside them right through. |
When the Type Seven personality individual forgets to prioritize the relationship with Nine, aggressive resentment might build up passively. It can immobilize the Seven, who love freedom, thus creating a strong desire to engage in communication tools.
|Enneagram 8||A relationship between Enneagram Type Eight and Type Nine results in these individuals exploring creative and innovative experiences. They enjoy traveling, dining out in new restaurants, taking care of children, and starting organizations with utmost ease. |
They use their gifts to serve the whole community with utmost passion, action, and peace. Their humorous nature makes for chemistry involving long-term excitement.
|Enneagram 9||When an Enneagram Type Nine pairs up with another Type Nine person, their relationship turns out to be that of consideration, fun, and understanding. Nines might not always have the comfort to share their innermost feelings. They tend to express their love for one another in considering others’ wants and preferences, in different acts of service, and their one-of-a-kind sense of humor.|
When there is a clash of their ideologies, their stubbornness comes to the forefront and becomes resistant to change passively.
Enneagram 9 Workplace Habits
So far, we have discussed how an Enneagram 9 type individual maintains different kinds of relationships. We have also seen how compatible they are when paired with other Enneagram types.
Now, it’s time to see how an individual of this personality type behaves while handling challenges in different positions at a workplace. Ideally, these people flourish in an environment that helps them attain stability and encourages them to help others.
Enneagram 9 personality type people enjoy being in a work environment that offers a slow pace, as it would help them get in touch with others properly.
Let us now see how these individuals tackle different positions in a workplace:
As a colleague
Enneagram 9 personality type individuals as colleagues are helpful by nature and hence feel energetic when their seniors ask them to help their colleagues work through personal issues.
As they are open-minded, team members can share their thoughts and ideas easily with Enneagram 9s. It would help them carry out their tasks better, thus achieving organizational demands on time.
Moreover, these personality typed individuals perform better at work when their colleagues treat them with respect and warmth on all occasions.
As a subordinate
When an Enneagram 9 works as a subordinate in an office, he would feel energetic once their boss is open to hearing their thoughts on any matter. The feeling of gaining importance is necessary for these individuals to perform well at the workplace.
Managers can rely on Enneagram 9 individuals to carry out their assigned tasks in the best possible manner. It is because these people know how to prioritize their tasks. Moreover, if they get sufficient space to express their opinions, the Enneagram 9s are at ease.
As subordinates, these personality typed people excel when they work under predictable routines. They can act as diplomatic mediators to tackle divisive teams on behalf of their managers.
As a manager
While working as a manager in an office, an Enneagram type 9 individual adopts an inclusive management style that carries less drama. It helps to keep a harmonious atmosphere in the office and let all the activities within an office remain in balance.
They possess great talent in de-escalating issues between team members and let everyone work towards the common goal of achieving organizational objectives. Due to the approach towards their work, employees like an Enneagram 9 personality type manager.
They face real problems that require their direct attention from time to time. Under those circumstances, their tendency to avoid conflict and passive-aggressive nature does not serve their purpose. Enneagram 9s must learn that just because things are going well, one cannot ignore their team.
How to relate with enneagram 9 (healthy tips for dating)
If you are dating an enneagram 9, you must maintain peace and harmony with them. They usually relate well with less complicated individuals who are easy to handle and deal with.
People with enneagram 9s are relaxed and it would not be much of a problem for you to find a place in their hearts. You just need to remember a few tricks to keep the relationship simple and placid.
- Most nines are idealists. They may forget important dates and events. In such a situation, stay cool and never show your anger.
- Avoid verbal fights and daily squabbling. They will hate to disagree with you.
- Nines always look for amicable and peace loving persons around them. Thus be the one they want to feel at ease in the relationship.
- To create rapport, be slow and patient. Express your priorities and needs clearly.
- Never ask for any commitments until they are ready.
- You should be friendly and approachable in front of an enneagram 9.
- They need alone time to feel energized. Thus you need to give them adequate space when needed.
- Do not interrupt them when they are trying to communicate their thoughts. Nines do not like to be in conflict.
- Encourage nines to verbalize their needs and wishes. As they remain unaware of what they actually want, they may tend to ignore their desires and live the life of somebody else.
- Enneagram 9s like assurance. Tell them that you are with them thick and thin. This assurance will go a long way in developing a trusting friendship between the two of you.
- You can even help them to voice their opinions and become an assertive person. Sometimes they need to be pushed to come out of their comfort zones and face the harsh realities of life.
Enneagram 9 career choices
Enneagram Type 9 has a deep desire to remain at peace and maintain it diligently. Due to their calm and composed nature, type 9’s would likely excel in a career that offers consistency and stability. They should feel as if they are helping others and thus help them flourish in those careers that encourage the same.
Type 9’s get motivation from offering reassurance to others and also from feeling appreciated. Hence, they are ideally suited to thrive in careers, which go along at a slower pace and allow them to get in touch with others.
People of this personality type love resolving conflict, and it makes them feel energetic. They tend to excel in careers that let them use their passion to promote peace and act as a good mediator.
Let us now look at the career options suitable for these individuals to meet their objectives of helping people, resolving conflicts, and encouraging internal and external peace.
- Social Worker
- Human Resources Manager
Core strengths of enneagram 9s
We all know that every individual has his own set of strengths that helps him deal with different aspects of life better. Whether in personal or professional life, focusing on one’s strengths can let people sail out of tight situations in flying colors.
It is applicable even for people with Enneagram 9 type personalities. Let us now discuss some of the core strengths that allow them to lead better lives.
1. Possess the ability to see different perspectives
Enneagram 9 personality type individuals are good mediators and can persuade others to do tasks the way they want. While working in a team, they can see multiple perspectives of their team members.
This quality allows people under Enneagram 9 personality to promote peace and harmony as they manage to take care of all types of possibilities and their repercussions.
2. Stay calm and adaptable
People of Enneagram 9 personality type are calm and possess the requisite skill to become mediators in a group of coworkers or friends.
We know that they can see multiple perspectives of any situation. Due to this quality, they do not get perplexed even if things do not go as per plans.
The ability to adapt to changing circumstances is a rare quality that these people have. They can mold their behavioral patterns as per the needs and demands of any situation.
Enneagram 9 people are warm-hearted and always look forward to feeling empathetic towards the needs of others. They go out of their way to help people in need and have a calming effect on others.
Whatever work they take up, an Enneagram 9 must manage to find a way through which they can help others. Otherwise, it would not serve their purpose.
As these individuals are non-judgmental, one can get in touch with them and express their opinions with a free mind.
If you are looking for a perfect person to talk to in times of distress, then there is no better individual than an Enneagram 9. They will listen to your point of view and find different points to reconcile between you and your ideas.
Enneagram 9s are peace-loving people. Neither do they indulge in any conflict, nor want people around them to get into it. These individuals have the sole purpose of remaining at peace under all circumstances.
Due to this reason, they tend to defend themselves by overlooking their internal conflicts by indulging in television, food, and other activities, hence promoting peace.
Core pitfalls/blind spots of enneagram 9s
No individual in this world is perfect. Everyone has his share of weaknesses. It is applicable for Enneagram 9 personality type people as well. The weak links act as hurdles in an individual’s path to success.
Therefore it is necessary not only for Enneagram 9s but also for people of other personality types to identify their weak links or blind spots, work on them to convert those into strengths, and thus lead better lives.
Let us now discuss some of the negative attributes of Enneagram 9 people:
1. Problems in facing conflict with other people
Mediators are too accommodating to others and turn out to be a weak link in their personalities. They always keep their own opinions for the last and prioritize others’ needs to avoid potential conflict.
As Enneagram 9s are peace-loving people, so they tend to avoid going into any confrontation. Thus, they accept circumstances the way they are. Therefore they make things difficult for them to take a firm stand on any issue.
2. Look into minimizing problems.
Usually, when problems arise, people take them seriously and find appropriate ways to come out of tight situations. Unfortunately, it is not the case with Enneagram 9 personality type individuals.
They always wish that everything in their lives should go smoothly, without any problem. Therefore, when any genuine problem does crop up, Enneagram 9s become complacent. In addition, play down the magnitude of that problem.
3. Avoids upsetting situations
Another blind spot in Enneagram 9 personality type individuals is that they tend to avoid all those situations, which upset them.
These individuals must realize everything in life could never go according to how they like. Difficult or upsetting situations are bound to crop up.
Therefore, rather than avoiding them, they should find ways to come out of those circumstances.
4. They are passive-aggressive
Enneagram 9s can turn out to be spiteful, passive-aggressive, and cut out from their actual nature. Finding peace in their outer world is important to them.
When they fail to get peace from their outer world, they will detach themselves from reality, thus living in an oblivious existence.
Ideally, when there is an internal conflict, Enneagram 9s should try to resolve it, then take the route of passive aggression.
Stress triggers of Enneagram 9
Stress is nothing but a feeling of getting overwhelmed or when someone cannot deal with emotional or mental pressure. It is part and parcel of our lives, but its triggers differ from one person to another.
The same applies to Enneagram 9 personality type people. Their stress comes from facing some typical situations in their lives.
Following are some of the stress triggers for Enneagram 9s:
1. When their loved ones feel disappointed
People of Enneagram 9 personality type always intend to help people in some way or the other. Whether it is about family members or friends, Enneagram 9s always go out of their way to offer their helping hands.
Now, when loved ones feel disappointed because of some reason, these individuals suffer from stress and tension.
2. Requiring to make tough decisions
Usually, Enneagram 9s are easy-going, calm, and adaptable. They always intend to promote peace and harmony wherever they go. These individuals wish that their lives should move on comfortably, without the need to tackle problems and find ways to come out of them.
In reality, no one can lead their lives without encountering problems. Therefore, whenever Enneagram 9s need to make tough decisions for managing uncomfortable situations, they feel stressed.
3. When they feel ignored
It is necessary for Enneagram 9s that others should make them feel important and pay attention to their opinions. Now, life does not go according to how we want.
As, and when Enneagram 9 personality type people feel that others are not giving them their due importance and ignoring them completely, they suffer from stress.
4. When there are unexpressed emotions
People usually tend to share their feelings and emotions with others. It allows them to feel free from any kind of burden or stress, especially when they are under pressure.
When people of Enneagram 9 personality type fail to do the same, and unexpressed negative emotions pile up inside them, they stress themselves out. Then they no longer remain calm, gentle, and easy-going people.
5. Saying yes to things they do not wish to do
Enneagram 9s always tend to keep others’ feelings and emotions ahead of their own needs. It comes from their attitude to help people out and make them happy.
In the process of doing so, Enneagram 9s end up saying yes to all those things they do not wish to do. Whenever they go against their wishes, they suffer from stress and tension.
How does enneagram 9 handle stress?
People of different personalities adopt different ways to tackle stress and come out of it to lead their lives peacefully. Similarly, Enneagram 9s also have different ways through which they can beat stress and stay calm.
Let us look at the techniques they adopt to de-stress themselves:
- Enneagram 9s take long walks to enjoy the solitude of nature. It allows them to reflect on what is going wrong.
- These individuals can relax whenever others give them the freedom to assert themselves and their requirements. They have to speak their mind, and one needs to remind them that no one will judge them.
- Talk to people who would advise them that it is perfectly alright to say no to things they do not wish to do.
- Identify their unique set of skills and talents, then go ahead with pursuing them.
- An Enneagram 9 can relax if someone can remind them that anger is not always a bad thing. One can express it as per the demand of any situation.
- Engage in walking, jogging, or some other form of exercise. It is an ideal way to de-stress and process some of their emotions and feelings in a healthy way.
Famous persons with enneagram 9
So far, we have discussed various aspects linked with Enneagram Type 9. There are renowned personalities from different backgrounds who fall under this personality type. The famous people with Enneagram 9 personality type include –
- Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States
- Bill Clinton, 42nd President of the United States
- Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States
- Walt Disney, Entrepreneur
- Audrey Hepburn, Actress
- Morgan Freeman, Actor
- Clint Eastwood, Actor, Producer, and Director
- Queen Elizabeth II, Queen of the United Kingdom
- Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States
- Jeff Bridges, Actor, and Singer
- Andy Griffith, US Actor
- Marie Kondo, Japanese Consultant
What enneagram 9s hate?
Enneagram 9 personality type people hate the following things in their personal and professional lives. They are as follows:
- People of the Enneagram 9 personality type do not like to indulge in any controversy.
- They hate saying no to people.
- Enneagram 9s do not like those who ignore them.
- These individuals hate to confront their anger.
- They hate harsh criticism.
- These individuals do not like anyone controlling them or trying to judge them.
- Enneagram 9s hate when people fail to acknowledge them.
- They hate when others misunderstand them due to their easy-going nature.
Hobbies of enneagram 9
All those always look for balance and harmony in their environment. Therefore, they try to spend their leisure hours in activities that help them maintain the two aspects.
- Love listening to soft tunes that have a soothing effect on them.
- Enneagram 9 personality type people love to meditate.
- They love to practice spirituality.
- These individuals love to hang around with animals.
- They even take walks while exploring nature.
- Enneagram 9s relax over coffee with their group of friends.
- These people also like to spend their time gardening.
How rare are the enneagram 9s?
Enneagram 9s are not a rare personality type. They are common and easily found enneagram types. Nines can make up to 13% of the population, with 14% women and 12% men. This estimation has been given from the empirical study done by Truity.com.
Growth tips for enneagram 9s (How do you grow better)
Enneagram nines quest for peace and harmony. This preference is good only to a certain extent only. Sometimes their peace-making attitude may lead to complete denial that there exist no problems at all. In reality, this is untrue.
They are tempted to ignore, avoid, and nullify the disturbing aspects of their life to such an extent that they become emotionally numb and placid; as if they are not feeling any emotion at all.
Nines either tends to run away from the situation or shows gross denial. In this way, stress may set in and lead to the disintegration of their resources.
Thus, it is important to show them the path of healthy growth where they will have to accept and acknowledge the issues in their life, embrace who they are, and become more capable of dealing with the overall situation and people around them.
- You need to pay attention to your needs and wants. Ignoring what you really want in life limits personal growth.
- Attend to the demands of your body and take good care of your health. Regular exercise or mediation can work well.
- Learn to fall in conflicts, disagree with people, and express your anger if needed. This will help you to analyze the cost and benefit of the situation. It will make you assertive and confident to deal with life issues easily.
- Practice saying no to things you do not like.
- Stop being a people pleaser and let others know your needs and aspirations.
- Remain open to change, learn to come out of the comfort zone and face challenges confidently.
- Express your anxieties and aggressions as and when needed.
Enneagram Personality test
The Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator, commonly known as the RHETI version 2.5, is the best and widely used enneagram test used globally. This test is an easy-to-use system that is empirically tested and scientifically designed with 144 paired statements.
The enneagram type indicator was developed by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson in 1993. The test provides your core enneagram number and describes the detailed personality profile indicating the wings and your relative relationship with all the nine personality types.
If you are eager to know your core enneagram number, you may take the test here.
The video link shared below shows the signs of being an enneagram 9. Do check out.
Parting words from ‘The Pleasant Personality’
To conclude, it can be said that enneagram 9s are the most peace-loving, settled, and stable individuals you can ever know. Their composed and collected nature makes them popular people.
These individuals can never be envied by anyone because they are always pleasant and down to earth. People know them as wise mediators and problem solvers.
Their patience to handle things peacefully makes them good negotiators who avoid taking sides, yet knows how to deal with diverse groups of people.
“The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses will be all the stronger for working together and sharing the load.”– Queen Elizabeth 11
Chandrani is a former school psychologist and teacher by profession. She is a post graduate in Applied psychology with focus in clinical and health domains. Her passion for writing, kindled during school days have now become a full time freelancing endeavor. For her, writing is cathartic and keeps her mentally agile. Her lovable niches includes psychology, parenting, spirituality, lifestyle, and love and relationships. Her work depicts her perspectives about various experiences that she came across; unleashed a richer and deeper meaning of life. "Let me leave an aftertaste in the minds of few, if not many who need to find a path of absolute bliss, happiness, and inner peace."